Posts

True Story© - Bringing the Curl Kit Back

True story©… She has a bathroom full of natural hair care products. All kinds of olive oil and shea butter and other things that look like she pays a lot for them to be shipped to the house and aren’t available in stores. Well one night my stomach was misbehaving and my phone was dead, so the only thing I could do to pass the time was to look at and smell the various things on the little shelf in front of the throne (yes, boredom is THAT bad in the mind of a supervillain). Moisturizers, double moisturizers, super triple moisturizers, coil activators, curl activators, shampoos, conditioners, comb-through conditioners, leave in conditioners, EVERY damn thing you could imagine. My mind immediately went back to the ‘curl activator’ thing. Without tipping anyone to what I was up to, I decided to see if it would be ANYTHING like I imagined it would be so I waited until I got to work to test the theory that it would give me the LOOK of a late 80s/early 90s Los Angeles rapper with none of the

True Story© - At Gunpoint

True story ... I'm walking to my car from Wal Mart and a dude jumps out of a maroon GMC Safari and puts a 12gauge to my head... "Where the f*ck you think you going, n**ga?!!?" "c'mon, man, I am just trying to get home to my little girl" "Daughter? So I guess you got a woman somewhere around too, huh?" "What?" "BITCH n***ga, I axed [sic] you a question!" "Yeah!" "you love her?" "of course!" "call her on the phone right now and say 'I love you bae' right now!" "dude" *cocks shotgun* "d-d-did I stutter, motherf*cker?!" "but 'bae' seriously my dude?" "you heard me, unless you wanna die out here in front of all of these people!" ... forced with the prospect of my funeral and using the word "bae," I am here to inform you all that my funeral will be on Monday. My mom has been left with instructions to pay off the ho

True Story© - Scarface

True story time... What some of you might know of me is that I have a sometimes obsessive-to-addictive personality. When I get into shit, I get ALL the way into it. What you may not know is that my first job was at a Winn Dixie on the way up to 11th grade in 1995 (more on why that matters in a minute). So I was in the 10th grade before I ever saw the movie Scarface, and I was immediately hooked. Talking like the characters, remembering whole lines and dialogs, copying mannerisms, etc... now that I think back on it, it was probably pretty damned annoying. One Tuesday after school early in the year, my sister took me to the store to pick up my check before going off to work herself. Lord knows WHERE my brother was and mama was at her second job until later in the evening. I walked to the Conoco on MLK and bought all the Goodies and BC powders they had (brand didn't even matter for what I was doing with it). I pulled the big chair from the living room to the kitchen table and opened A

Free Promo Corner -- Lego Dimensions

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(image mercilessly curbed from Wikipedia) Lego Dimensions: the most brilliant video game/toy idea in YEARS.  (AKA "shut up and take my money!") Imagine you had the ability to play a video game tying a bespoke story involving characters from The Simpsons, DC Universe, Ghostbusters, The Lego Movie, Scooby Doo and 8 other franchises that Lego has licensing for currently ALL AT ONCE.  Imagine further that this particular game would be expandable by purchasing Lego toys.  Well stop imagining, because that is PRECISELY what this is. It is a concept they have referred to as "toys-to-life," wherein you buy the game in a "Starter Pack" which contains a ton of toys already, and then you add onto the game with subsequent toys, which you can immediately add to the game. You buy a "Fun Pack" and you get the physical toy set and the pieces in that set are added to the game, characters and vehicles.  Buy a "Team Pack" and it adds characte

The frugal sneaker fiend

My name is a Phillip, and I am a sneaker head…                 I did not come by this as honestly as many who I have observed have.  In fact, I may have created it for a WILDLY different set of reasons.  When my twin and I were 11, we left my pops and became a single parent household.  Even before this January day, we could basically be assured that at any given time there would be three pairs of shoes in our lives: 1 – “school” shoes:  this would be the newest and cleanest pair, re-upped only at the beginning of the school year and Christmas. 2 – “play” shoes: the most recently demoted shoes from “school shoes” status, provided there had not been a major growth spurt to bring on a change. 3 – “church” shoes: replaced ONLY at significant growth spurts and/or Easter.  Otherwise self-explanatory.                 Let me preface this by explaining that I have worn the same size shoe since the summer before I turned 16. As a kid, I learned to lowkey HATE that other kids got sh

Jay-Z, Obama and Magna Carta... Holy Grail

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A non-secret is that Jay-Z has money and a lot of it.  It is rumored that his net worth is more than that of a certain Willard Mittens Romney.  Incredible, as Romney got his on the back of a wealthy daddy helping to provide the best education money could provide and Shawn Carter is doing so without even a high school diploma to speak of.  Another non-secret or meme within the rap world is that those with money – even a little bit of it – walk around with it under their arms to use a metaphor.  “If you have it, show it” they say.  In exacting this, a theme that frequently gets pulled is “I ain’t even GOT to rap,” as if we didn’t already know that it was rap that got them there in the first place. Anyway, never mind that…  Today, we’re talking about Jay-Z and his new album.  After the past 18 years of his life in rap, it is established that he, in fact, DOESN’T have to rap – or probably even ever work again – and his great-grandchildren will die wealthy too.  In spite of that fa

In the Kitchen with Phlip - Curry Chicken Pizza Roll

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"Curry Chicken Pizza Roll,"  yes I said those words in that order and you didn't wake up from a dream. Since the Bookface is trying hard to make me fat again with all the recipes and ideas people post all the time, sometimes I find myself in position to ape a recipe and turn it into something so different from what it started as that I need not even link what the inspiration was.  This is one of those times. Day One: For this, you will need: The star of today's show, the seasonings: Mix them together (quantities to be discussed below): Let the big spoon there be your guide: 2 heaping spoons of the curry and one small one of the cayenne (cayenne to taste, it is actually optional but I like my curry spicy).  A good hefty dash each of the lemon pepper, onion powder and garlic powder and a light dash of the nutmeg (nutmeg is assertive). Start a roux; enough oil to coat the bottom of a saucepan set to medium/hi heat, and when it is up to temp, two of the

In the Kitchen with Phlip x Dads at War -- "Don't throw out those leftovers!"

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This is something I came up with 6 weeks ago... I found myself faced with a fridge containing leftovers that I no longer wanted as they were at the time, but unwilling to throw out or give to the dog food that was still good.  I sat the Ava down in front of Yo Gabba Gabba and went to work. Started with some boneless/skinless chicken breasts I'd had on that Monday... And some cheesy coarse-mashed potatoes from that Wednesday... Now, addressing the chicken, make with the knifework and dice it up as fine as you can make it go... Line the cookie sheet with foil and (not pictured) hit it with the cooking spray... Panko bread crumbs and go ahead and put that oven on 400 now)... (not pictured) simply fold into and mix the chicken and potatoes together, add some cheese if you're feeling sporty and pat out into 2.5"x1" patties, then dip into the bread crumbs to cover completely hit the tops of them with that cooking spray one last time to aid in cr

Dads At War -- $ave on your Grocery Expen$e$

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Today, I am teaching a lesson… This past weekend in line with the release of the Galaxy S4, I joked on the social networks about the unemployed people who have no actual income but always have money for new fly shit and how I stretch my money to make sure that I myself can afford at least some of the fly shit that I desire.  Yeah, I was being TOTALLY judgmental. Well, one of the things that I mentioned doing is that I can make $100 worth of groceries last 3-5 weeks.  I assure you that people on Facebook see what I am capable of cooking and eating more than those who may be trawling my blog.                 Rather than spend time on the humor in my taking these people to task, the conversation turned to just HOW in the hell I am making $100 go just THAT far.  The rest of the conversation turned to me explaining how and why most of what people lose in their grocery budget goes right into the trashcan, literally.  Waste from cooking too much and seeing the leftovers go bad is the

In the Kitchen with Phlip -- Chicken/Feta Meatballs

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            I advise that this will be another of one of my short ones of these.  It was seriously just that simple to construct and do… Simplicity is not without cost, though.  Let’s start with a cast of characters: (Ground chicken, chicken sausage, chipotle Panko breadcrumbs, Feta cheese, and ranch dressing mix.   In observance of my granddaddy’s birthday last weekend, I am opting for brown eggs this week.   That is $17 in supplies and I have not even gotten to the sauces yet.) Before doing anything, put the chicken sausage through your mini-chopper and chop it up as completely and finely as possible.   There is not a picture of this step in the process because it really is that simple and a mini chopper can be had for less than $10 at Wal Mart so you should already have one. Now for the easy part, EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!!! (Yes, simple as that.   Put everything in the mixing bowl, add a couple dashes of hot sauce of your choosing and (an option I visited) Wor