The musings of a madman...

     I tend to try to mind my own damned business most of the time. My brain, however, is a BUSY place and a torturous situation comes from when I am forced against my will to re-litigate old cases. Worry not, nothing happening here has been discussed in previous stories. Anyways… When I run back down memory lane sometimes I get NEW mad all over again, sometimes as pissed as one might get when the misdeed is actively transpiring.      When I get pissed or anxious, I try to make myself busy. I do this to quell the “noise” in my head. Not noise as in literal sound, but as in the cacophony of shit in my head that in a past lifetime would drive me fucking nuts until I drank myself to sleep. Needless to say, I have unlearned that habit. Nowadays I write, I exercise until my knees and hips make me stop, I clean house, I think about writing while I am working out or cleaning, I research and plan lawn care, I do WHATEVER I can to combat the noise. To quote a good friend: “ADHD… It’s

       I know it feels like I talk about this a lot lately, but by the time the two of you read this, I will be within 20 ounces of the lowest I have weighed since I discovered food and alcohol as a combination. Even that low-water mark was the result of a bad accident that led to a broken jaw and me off of solid foods for eight weeks in 2003.      Covid season created a world wherein I was ABSOLUTELY not social outside of what could be attained from my phone or one of my computers. I was work/eat/sleep/work/drink/sleep/work, week in and week out and the weight that had been yo-yo’ing between 245 and 270 was firmly at 265. I felt like shit and decided to do something about it. July 2022, I decided to take out the running shoes I’d already acquired and hit the pavement. Three weeks later, I ended my (then-) 26-year relationship with alcohol. The first few pounds slid right off no problem. Nothing noticeable, not on a “go buy new clothes” level, but the scale was telling it for

    I’m a bit of what’s called an autodidact.  If you don’t know what that is, it means that I am a self-taught person.  I have my hands in a lot of things that I am quite good at; lawn care, basic car maintenance, minor household repairs – handyman shit – as well as building things and of course writing.  If it can be done with basic hand tools, I am him.  If it requires more than that, I can probably figure it out. One could say it is because I am too cheap to pay someone for some shit I can do myself, unless of course it is for convenience or I don’t have time. Y’all remember when I built my fire pit?  No blueprint, no drawings, just natural ability and a little bit of time. What about now?  [ link ] On the heels of that I of course showed it off here and OF COURSE on various social media in the 15ish months since, especially over the last 3-4ish months when I have had more weather-permitting time to light it up.  What I have not told you, though, is that I have been tasked with

       “Frenemies” If you have ever watched Justified on FX as I did when I binged all six seasons and the whole of the spinoff a few months ago, you know what that is.   As you may or not be aware, I have made a bit of one of those in our own local law enforcement here lately.   I promise shit didn’t start out that way, but a strange series of mishaps made that bed for me.      I recently gained the knowledge that he may be finally cutting me loose in order to move on a little further.   Part of me is glad to have him out of my ass – pun intended – but part of me will miss having a local law man who owes me favors so big that he has to honor requests or perhaps have a conversation with Internal Affairs. It all started last month with a phone call… Me: “You know if you keep this up, we are gonna have to sit down and discuss our thing with my wife.” Woodpenis: “Well if things go to plan, we might not need to have that conversation.” Me: “Well Detective Woodpenis, what are yo

  Most of the time, I mind my own damned business.  Sure, my eyes are open and my head is on a swivel as I walk around my neighborhood three times a day but that is more for loose dogs and (now) kidnappers. I have learned here recently as this past Monday that my neighbors are watching or noticing me as I walk about.  There is the family on the corner that adopted a little dog named Duke.  His hair is similar to Shaggy Thunder, so they asked who my groomer was.  There are the kids that catch the bus oddly late and the lady with two dogs who is always interested in how my miles I clock a day. Those people are normal, as in I see them daily, sometimes multiple times.  Otherwise, though, there are other neighbors that I have NEVER seen outside in over two years now.  Yes, I know they come and go because I do notice cars in and out of driveways but I never see PEOPLE coming and going. … until last Thursday. Down at the bottom of the hill as I was coming back up my last three blocks