Showing posts with the label fund raising

True Story©… The Nauga Farmer

(look who's back, y'all!)       This honestly could have stopped with PETA , but they didn’t wanna play along. … no, seriously, click that link and come back here when you’re done…      Welcome back… So anyway, this whole shit could have stopped with PETA, but now I am here concerned with the plight of the poor Naugas, of which I now have a small ranch that I am running to care for them.  I don’t know if y’all know this or not, but raising and healthily engaging with all these Naugas is resource intensive in time, money and effort.  What I am sure you all know is that I do that with the salary I earn from a regular-ass job – well, what I have left after paying these bills.      The first thing I tried to do was to sue the creators of Instagram, on the grounds that they had stolen something from me.  No not the concept of shittying up the resolution of pictures to show off to people who don’t actually like me anyway, but the actual NAME ‘Instagram’.  For me, I would crea

Hypnosis (A Fun-Raising Experiment)

  You are getting sleeeeeeepy...      Good afternoon, dear reader and welcome… Now that I have you all focused (or experiencing an epileptic episode from the above light show) , allow me to explain to you why we are here.      Several years ago when I started this, I activated and allowed ads on the page in an attempt at what I thought would monetize a talent. Do you know how many tens of thousands of eyeballs on stories it takes for that to actually work?   Wait…   That is tens of thousands of eyeballs who ALSO periodically click on ads as well.      Needless to say, that wasn’t it.   A couple of years ago when I came back from my new job/hospitalization hiatus, I realized something.   Two things, actually… 1 – When I am using my phone an encounter a page with ads on it, I am more inclined to say “fuck that” and close. 2 – When I am on either of my computers, I have adblocker set to gestapo and I haven’t known what an ad on a web page looks like for several years. “Alexa,

For the Love... Writing About Writing

     When I was 12 and in seventh grade, my aunt came to visit my English class.   She was, unbeknownst to me until that class on that day, a published author and a good friend of my teacher whose name alcohol has erased from my 41 year old memory.   She spoke of a book she had recently written and was on the way to publishing that happened to be stories of my family and her and her siblings (including my own father) during their own upbringing. These were stories I knew first hand, but the way she presented them made it so…   ENTERTAINING.   It was something completely new to me to see something so mundane as a story that every kid knows of what begat them presented in a manner that could hold the attention of 20 twelve year-olds.      I was hooked… As a middle child, also-ran, “who is that guy” kid, I have always been used to things just being whatever they are and cruising through life without any specific dream other than “making it,” whatever that means.      I deci

True Story© Fund Raising

     Social media ruins lives… No, really!  We say and do things on Facebook and Twitter that we would NEVER say out in the world and especially not in mixed company.  Sure, people are quick to brag how real they are in real life, but these are undeniable facts, you just NEVER are as much of what you claim, or perhaps even think you are on the social networks.      So what does this have to do with anything? Thanks for asking!      Friday morning, I got to work.  Got my coffee together, ate my breakfast and settled in at my desk with my music player and earbuds.  I’m listening to my music, minding my own business.  Hard nipples on a cool fall morning A coworker comes to my desk to small talk, hell it’s Friday – payday even.  I guess I will play along a bit. Hard nipples  Coworker: “What’s up, Phillip?” Me: “Not a lot, getting in here about to knock this day out and roll on for the weekend.” HN CW: “Any plans?” Me: “Nah, I been busy as heck all month, I am goi