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Showing posts from November, 2017
True Story©... The Internship
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Man, we still talking about THIS shit? I guess as long as it stays current events, the shit just ain’t going away, huh. Y’all remember when I got fired last month for staring at, and then mentioning titties and no one came to assist me with the PayPal donations? [ link ] What about now? Anyway… After that ordeal, no one offered me any money to help with my situation and I am still wrangling with Wells Fargo over conditions with which to keep my house and creating tricks to save and make money back during my shopping haul over the Christmas season. [ Phlip note : this would be made easier if more people would share my posts and click on ads, y’know] One contact I did receive was from a small production company looking to publish and make some online shorts in hopes of one day getting a show on a big network somewhere somehow. They had a small staff and SOME grant...
Hotep Heroes - Prince Henry of Wales
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Prince Harry might low-key be the absolute most wokest person in the whole-ass world… Stay with me here. While his father shook up the game by challenging norms in marrying in the first place – and subsequently divorcing – his mother, it can be said that Charles set the blueprint for the bucking of norms that Harry has now taken to another level. Not only is he NOT slated to marry a woman of royal British lineage, he is marrying one who is not even British. On top of that, he is marrying a woman born in America. He is marrying a divorced woman born in America. And now for the coup de grâce… She is a Black woman. You read that right, the man who is 5th in line to the throne is planning to take himself a woman from a middle class, albeit well-to-do family in America and turn her into a prominent Black princess. Bearing his place in the pecking order of his family, she is five heartbeats (not to be confused with Duck Matthews and them) from being a prominent Black Que...
Phood Phun with Phlip... When We Rice (and Chicken)
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Guess who got to play with the stove without adult supervision this week? This week, taking a break from taking a break on the diet thing for the holidays, we wanted chicken fried rice. We wanted chicken fried rice, but not with actual rice because, you know, low-carb living… Enter (again): riced cauliflower. Make it yourself by grating a cauliflower or buy a bag frozen at Aldi for $1.69. Honestly, this dish will include only three main ingredients: 1 12oz bag riced cauliflower 1-1.5lb boneless/skinless chicken 1cup green onion The cooking part is really simple too. Start with the chicken, sautéing in the pan, add some ground ginger and salt/pepper to season, all to taste. Once the chicken is done, set it aside and the cauliflower can go into the pan. Cook until the liquid is mostly cooked out and add the onlions. Cook until THOSE are wilted and add soy sauce to desi...
Loyalty
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I’m as stingy with loyalty as I am with respect. I don’t often avail myself to people, so the ones I have shared any information they felt should not be shared had better be treated as if they should die with it. As bad as my memory happens to be in the short term, it is dangerous when the topic is things that I feel are important. My continued circle consists of people I have been given reason to be loyal and respectful to. Sure, I am prone to fits of personal stupidity, but I am at least dumb enough to not be interested in majorly fucking up my plays in a manner I might find egregious. I have a team… A twin brother, a best friend, several really good friends and some cats that I have never actually met in person. The amount of “me” that I have given these people is a testament to who I perceive them to be. This is usually a result of what they have done with or for me with no reason t...
Donny Got Barz... Who's Balls are the Biggest
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And then the news just keeps getting more and more surreal… Media Darling Attention-whore LaVar Ball accompanied his youngest son to China week before last for an overseas game in China that coincided with the opening of a couple of popup shops for his disastrously ugly sneakers. Teenagers being teenagers, one being from a well-to-do family who could have ostensibly paid for the shit, decided that stealing some sunglasses from a Louis store was the cool thing to do. An international crisis ensues and 45 decided to insert himself as the liberator-in-chief. Except, no one has any real PROOF that this happened other than his own claims on Twitter, and no reasonable adult actually believes much of what this man claims. LaVar got options and a media fully lapping up HIS bullshit. The thing with his, though, is that he is brutally honest. Well as honest as one with something to sell ca...
True Story©... Horrible Advice, continued
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I am beginning to think that True Story© is beginning to ruin my fucking life… Chilling at work on Monday, minding my own business, I gets an email: Fuck My Existence Well I guess it stands to reason that I have BAKED this damn cake, so it is totally on me to frost the sumbitch. We shot some back-and-forth around and he was clear that he was not willing to approach ANY of the holidays with this woman, that he had taken Wednesday off and that would be when he wanted to complete this whole thing. Well shit on me, I guess I got no time for setup. After work Tuesday, I sat down at the computer and planned and plotted and daydreamed just how I could bail this man out of a VERY shitty situation. At least the kid was not hers and would not have a lot invested in them breaking up. I mean, it only makes sense that a kid – especially a boy child – is not going to be there for someone disrespecting his father when that father is actual...
Hotepsgiving...
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Sometimes it just isn’t worth it to continually shit in someone’s cornflakes. Rather than take the wind out of the sails that is the conquerors’ favorite holidays, we will take just a few minutes of your time to say what WE are thankful for. - We’re thankful that white people have not managed to fuck up Chadwick Boseman . - We’re thankful for President Barack Obama… … no, stay with us here. The saying is that a presidency isn’t a presidency until the elected individual has ONE legislative victory. And in playing by those rules, the last previous president who DID have any remains president. - We’re thankful for our wives… and our other wives … … and our OTHER wives - We’re thankful for Robert Sylvester Kelly - We’re thankful for then enlightenment that will allow Hollyweird to burn to the fuckingground . - We’re thankful for Colin Kaeperni...
Phood Phun with Phlip... All Pies on Me
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Get it? See, because it is a pot pie! And 2Pac had that song that and album that--… Never mind. This was INITIALLY supposed to be a dessert post, but the logistics of a dessert escaped us because someone has started back couponing and the other is preparing for Mattel to release the new Hot Wheels lines this week. Crap, I am off topic again. Anyway. Mimi came up with this one TOTALLY on the fly without my input. It isn’t terribly difficult to make either. Start with 2tbsp butter, 1 cup each of onions and carrots, 1/2 tbsp each salt/pepper, 1tbsp thyme and 1tbsp minced garlic: (note: carrots are NOT considered low-carb, but for as little as this really is, you'll be fine) Sauté the veggies and then add cooked chicken. Out of convenience, we went with a rotisserie chicken, as we were both out of the house and Mimi was working at the last minute: Heat the chicken through and stir in ...
[No title]
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We’re told that patience is virtuous… I did the right thing when I’ve waited Keep conflict low, don’t make waves… I don’t much debate it Say what you mean and mean what you say… It’s on them if conflated Stay in my lane… Easy, most can’t even relate it Plan hard and work harder… Love what you’ve created Positivity and focus… At times I feel insulated Respectability; stand by what you’re about… Time spent doing right is never time wasted Well I’ve spent years expecting my turn… My time is awaited Past outcomes speak to norms… I think it’s all overrated I like to think I am working toward SOMETHING… Perhaps it’s all just belated I could REALLY use some input… On what...
Go on a Money Diet
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As I try to be more responsible in my adulting, I find myself coming up with, or simply employing things I have heard, into my saving routine. This one here is one I’ve previously used to ramp myself up to something nonessential that I may find myself wanting to throw cash at a ways down the road. This is not a quick-and-fast savings scheme. That said, don’t expect to necessarily get rich off of this. I call it The Money Diet. I know that sounds like a silly-ass name, but it is simply what I came up with to call it when I first tried it about 3 years ago. It is really a simple thing to do in theory, once you work yourself up to it psychologically. That last part though… When you leave your house in the morning, things you should expect to have to spend money on should be paid for with cash. When you are going to make this purchase, you basically plan not to pay ex...
Donny Got Barz -- Major in Asia
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This motherfucker really isn’t going to quit until he tweets us clean off into WWIII, is he? You’re supposed to be the president, off in the news IN ANOTHER COUNTRY talking like you’re trying to cut a WWE promo against Stone Cold Steve Austin in 1999. I figured China had done a good enough job of buttering him up by making him feel like he had gotten his ass kissed, but that apparently didn’t stop him from embarrassing us on the world stage again. With a slow news week again, consisting of not much more than sexual harassment/assault burning Hollywood down, we could expect him to hit out at old targets considering his own past as a pussy grabber and with a pending case of his own. Motherfucker didn't even wait to get off of the plane before getting started. Apple has released a fix to that glitch, Donny. I understand that you have fashioned yourself the smartest person in the world, but we’re having a mighty hard ti...