The musings of a madman...

  "Moe, I don't know that this is your wheelhouse, but I'm running low on options now... My wife and I have been married for two and a half years now, and are having a bit of a problem. We're wholly on the same page as far as family goals, i.e. we definitely want children while we're still young enough to enjoy it and have been trying, but we've had trouble conceiving. After months of trying, we saw a doctor and she was diagnosed with a condition that will make conception difficult, and even if successful may not see all the way to birth. We were heartbroken, but not near as much as we would be when we learned the COST of adoption with mind on our preference for a newborn or the non-insurance-covered cost of surrogacy. What we seek from you is advice on how we might be able to proceed in starting our family? We want a newborn, would love to involve our own progeny if at all possible and for it to not break the bank. Please help!"      What I have not tol...

       The changing weather and the near-constant presence of a Tiny Little™ in my house have pressed me into an extreme level of home body life. I'd say I'm bothered by it, but I'm really only beckoned from my house if it involves food or a leaf mulching job these last couple weeks.      Unfortunately, this means that people come to my door and I am actually home to have to -- or try to -- ignore them. So this past Saturday, I finished the one lawn on my schedule for the day and unloaded my truck, then sat down at the computer in the corner of my garage to work on the YouTube video I had recorded for it. [ link ] As I'm working on the voiceover and PRAYING nothing noisy happens outside my driveway to spoil it, my "should have closed the fuckin door" was confirmed when someone walked up to but not in my garage. Him: "Excuse me, are you busy?" Me: "Yes, and now I gotta record this voiceover for a third time..." Him: "I apologize, it...

[ Phlip note: I know I hit y’all off Tuesday already, but that was special coverage for the pagan holiday] True Story©   Disciplining strangers’ kids without touching them.                 One of the problems I hardly EVER have at home or in public is my child doing anything that requires any real discipline further than “Ava, knock it off.” Other people, though?  Y’all have some fucking DEMONS and seem to want to spend time with them in public instead of your own homes.  Bad behavior should not be rewarded with the kind of excursions and adventures that people tend to grant their children.  Hell, one time when I was like 8 or 9, my brother and I were not allowed to go to the damned grocery store with my mom because I knocked like 4 jars of mayonnaise (this was when the jars were still made of glass) on the floor in Winn Dixie and a man slipped on it and almost fell. But I d...

This is something I came up with 6 weeks ago... I found myself faced with a fridge containing leftovers that I no longer wanted as they were at the time, but unwilling to throw out or give to the dog food that was still good.  I sat the Ava down in front of Yo Gabba Gabba and went to work. Started with some boneless/skinless chicken breasts I'd had on that Monday... And some cheesy coarse-mashed potatoes from that Wednesday... Now, addressing the chicken, make with the knifework and dice it up as fine as you can make it go... Line the cookie sheet with foil and (not pictured) hit it with the cooking spray... Panko bread crumbs and go ahead and put that oven on 400 now)... (not pictured) simply fold into and mix the chicken and potatoes together, add some cheese if you're feeling sporty and pat out into 2.5"x1" patties, then dip into the bread crumbs to cover completely hit the tops of them with that cooking spray one last time to aid in cr...

Today, I am teaching a lesson… This past weekend in line with the release of the Galaxy S4, I joked on the social networks about the unemployed people who have no actual income but always have money for new fly shit and how I stretch my money to make sure that I myself can afford at least some of the fly shit that I desire.  Yeah, I was being TOTALLY judgmental. Well, one of the things that I mentioned doing is that I can make $100 worth of groceries last 3-5 weeks.  I assure you that people on Facebook see what I am capable of cooking and eating more than those who may be trawling my blog.                 Rather than spend time on the humor in my taking these people to task, the conversation turned to just HOW in the hell I am making $100 go just THAT far.  The rest of the conversation turned to me explaining how and why most of what people lose in their grocery budget goes right into the ...