Showing posts with the label I don't drink

True Story©... Never Have I Ever

       I am not a “people” person… Don’t take that to mean I am some hermit who has ZERO friends or acquaintances camped out in his mom’s basement criticizing women he has no chance with because “her eyes are too far apart,” I am just VERY guarded with the people I will fuck with. There are a PRECIOUS few people who can invite me outside of my house and expect me to be in attendance. I am far more likely to have them over here, frankly. … I was invited to a house party… Homie: “What’s good Phlip, you straight?” Me: “I’m good, man. What’s up?” Homie: “The weather is right, we pulling out the tents and firing the grills this weekend.” Me: “Say less…” Homie: “So you in?” Me: “Without question… What I need to bring?” Homie: “Beverage, if anything.” Me: “Your wife still drink [__]” Homie: “You know us well.” Me: “On it.” Homie: “What about you? What we on this trip?” Me: “I’m doing the sobriety thing.” Homie: “Oh yeah… You gon’ be alright around it?” Me: “GOOD-good… You’ve met my fami