Posts

Showing posts with the label battle rap

True Story©... Step Into the Ring

Image
     I just be minding my motherfuckin’ business… I also, unfortunately, have this awful habit of making it my business to make other people’s lives less-than-enjoyable for my own entertainment. With that in mind, one can more than easily imagine how often some shit I have done comes back to bite me in the ass later on down the road.      Rewind back to October, when I made a crude attempt to pitch a gameshow wherein rappers would attempt to cook crack with the prize being that they get to CONTINUE recording. I called it the Wrist Twistin’ Kitchen . Not long after that failure, I received contact from Jiggaboo Jericho Jackson and as we all remember, hilarity ensued .      In my head, I am absolutely clear of any problems that might so happen to arise from my misguided attempt to get rich on the interwebs and I am now free to move on to my continued supervillainy normal life, right? RIGHT?!!? Wrong™!      Despite, per the rules of the gameshow, Jiggabo Jericho being the only one “

Donny Got Barz©… The Recount

Image
       The man is clearly unhinged… We watched and kept refreshing on our phones this past week/end in wait for the Associated Press to update the electoral count so we could know if we were in for another four years, or primed for a new regime.      Funny is how, during that time, he himself already claimed victory despite numbers first indicating nothing, and then trending the other direction hard and fast. That would give way to WILD claims completely not rooted in anything nearing reality.      In the days since, we have seen those numbers continue to trend against him, and his response has not been to face the actual music, but to continue to create his own reality. As entertaining as that may so have been, I luckily woke up before work yesterday and tuned into the special back channel Twitter feed to see if ol’ 45 had taken to his golden toilet sharpening up his battle raps in preparation for the next few months before the Secret Service has to physically remove him from t

Donny Got Barz™ -- Alabama Aftermath

Image
     I knew he would pull some shit like this. In a week where he was unable to push a GOP senate candidate over the finish line in the reddest state on the planet despite coming dangerously close considering that man is also probably a pedophile, we knew he would be a bit pissed coming into what he has up next. I kept F5’ing his back-channel Twitter to see what we would get in response.  It seems we were only given 12 bars this week after a couple of weeks off.      It seems this man lives to blame anyone but himself or anyone whose position he agrees with. Roy Moore is Roy Moore’s problem.  He has openly longed for the days where slavery was a minor nuisance to the strongest time ever for American families, has pined to do away with very constitutional amendment after the 10 th and most famously HAS MORE THAN LIKELY TRIED TO FUCK CHILDREN! None of those are relevant to this situation.  The Democrats, they’re the red herring.  Obama, despite having

Donny Got Barz... Who's Balls are the Biggest

Image
     And then the news just keeps getting more and more surreal… Media Darling Attention-whore LaVar Ball accompanied his youngest son to China week before last for an overseas game in China that coincided with the opening of a couple of popup shops for his disastrously ugly sneakers.  Teenagers being teenagers, one being from a well-to-do family who could have ostensibly paid for the shit, decided that stealing some sunglasses from a Louis store was the cool thing to do.  An international crisis ensues and 45 decided to insert himself as the liberator-in-chief.      Except, no one has any real PROOF that this happened other than his own claims on Twitter, and no reasonable adult actually believes much of what this man claims.      LaVar got options and a media fully lapping up HIS bullshit.  The thing with his, though, is that he is brutally honest.  Well as honest as one with something to sell can be taken as. The back and forth wound up with us seeing 45 on his back

Donny Got Barz -- Major in Asia

Image
This motherfucker really isn’t going to quit until he tweets us clean off into WWIII, is he?  You’re supposed to be the president, off in the news IN ANOTHER COUNTRY talking like you’re trying to cut a WWE promo against Stone Cold Steve Austin in 1999. I figured China had done a good enough job of buttering him up by making him feel like he had gotten his ass kissed, but that apparently didn’t stop him from embarrassing us on the world stage again.  With a slow news week again, consisting of not much more than sexual harassment/assault burning Hollywood down, we could expect him to hit out at old targets considering his own past as a pussy grabber and with a pending case of his own.   Motherfucker didn't even wait to get off of the plane before getting started. Apple has released a fix to that glitch, Donny.  I understand that you have fashioned yourself the smartest person in the world, but we’re having a mighty hard time buying it based o

Donny Got Barz -- BANAL Sex

Image
Must have been a slow news week for the president.  Well, there is the very real reality of a wholly avoidable church shooting that totally happened on his watch, the issue of an electorate that is rebelling against him as evidenced in the outcomes of many off-year elections around the country and the fact that this tax plan is very obviously an expensive “fuck you” to most Americans. So, he refrained from talking about most of that in the news this week.  I checked the back-channel Twitter to see what he and his ghost writers were cooking up this week and it appears that they were pretty silent on the issues this week too.  A bunch of weird sexual double entendres, not much more of substance… Banal sex… Banal. Fucking. Sex?!!?      I would be inclined to think this set was pretty soft overall, but those two words may have saved the entire species.

Donny Got Barz... A Hero Is Much Much More than a Sandwich

Image
     It seems that this “president” and his ghost writers are at it again…     It was a rough week for the guy, opening up on some indictments of people close to his campaign, released in waves to kneecap his attempts to downplay them – and attempt he did. Apparently, though, his handlers – or as “handled” as someone like him will allow himself to be – have finally convinced him to shut the fuck up about ongoing things that could tear his ass later, even if placed on the back-channel protected tweets. …  that didn’t stop him from going in on some of his favorite subjects though…      Suffice it to say, whoever is writing for the man – and we know he can’t be writing these himself – is serving him some better material these day. As the chances that this whole Mueller thing will snake its way up his organization and eventually see him resigning or removed from office, it is probably best he begin working on his recording career.