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True Story™… African American Ninja Warrior

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       For all of my discussion of how much I hate talking on the phone, there still remains a precious few people who I will actually call.   Usually it is because I know that person will be in a car and a text conversation will be disjointed as fuck or take longer than the time I have to deal with whatever needs to be discussed.   Or it is more business than can be conveyed via text. Worry not, though…   I can still only be counted on to make one or two calls a week to people I know.   Otherwise, it will be a text message or one of a constant barrage of memes on Facebook between my bouts with the FB filters.      So following last week’s kidnapping fiasco , I simply sat on my couch and spun through mid-afternoon on my lunch break instead of wandering outside back into danger.   Needless to say, I found this painfully boring.   When I get bored, I will either do something incredibly creative or something INCREDIBLY stupid. I grabbed up my phone, turned the TV off and prayed the do