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Showing posts with the label call the law

True Story©… Smurfin’

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       I couldn’t stay out for long… Me, this Moe Phillips thing, my continued petty crime spree, I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.   Consistency with my prior edict to use Moe Phillips for net good remains in place at least.      First thing’s first…   I KNOW Detective Woodpenis is watching his wire to be sure that Moe isn’t acting up again, for which he has promised to come for my ass.   Of course, there needs to be a new burner phone, since I gave the old one to the unhoused person to use out when I left the station last time.   Instead of making a purchase near my home, I drove to surrounding cities and approached people on highway exits with signs.   For a couple of bucks for whatever they wanted to buy, they would go into the store and buy me a burner phone.   I did this three times.   Why three?   I would stash one burner in a location away from my house.   THIS would be *the* number for people to call me on.   I silenced it, and plugged it in at a YMCA locker room

True Story©… Workin' Sex

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       In approximately 53 days I will have been working from the comfort of my home for three years…   While home, I have access to the whole of the internet on my phone and/or personal laptop right here next to the work PC without the constraints placed on by my employer.   That means that no one will question what is on my screen on Twitter, Reddit or whatever social media app I may so happen to have open at any given time.      The funny thing about the Twitter algorithm is that it seems to suggest similarities to things you may have posted, followed or liked, no matter how long ago that may have been.   That said, I get a lot of suggestions about hip hop, politics and titties. Today, we will talk a subject adjacent that last one…      Something I have noticed, especially in my perusal of Reddit and Twitter and through unsolicited contacts on Instagram, is that these Covid years have created a new class of “Sex Workers” who don’t have to do, y’know…   actual fucking. Display

True Story© Party Like it's 1799

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     Not all of my schemes involve me trying to scare fast money out of the world around me.  Quite the contrary, actually.  Sometimes I just wish to be entertained.  Sometimes – as you have previously read in these stories – I will go to a bit of expense in making these things happen.      So one day, I decides to rent out a venue and throw a New Year’s Eve party.  The theme was a “Party Like it’s 1799 All White Party.”  I would not be bothered with offering ANY further detail as to what exactly I meant by that.  FaceBook invites, Pen & Pixel -style fliers, the whole shebang! Pre-sales of the almost-all-included tickets (food and soft drinks/water included but a cash bar for all alcohol purchases) were through the ROOF!  Sold on into the hundreds, I was in business despite no apparent attempts to actually be “in business.”      Despite my good fortune a couple weeks ahead of this, I was busy as a dime hooker on nickel buttfuck night, because I could not trust anyo