The musings of a madman...

       I seriously hate when things I thought I had dispatched of boomerang right back to me. I hate worse when those things happen to mix themselves with what I've had going on in the meantime before returning. Worst of all, I hate when the shit happens REAL quickly. My doorbell rang... Me: "Nonono, nope... Not doing this again!" Them: "But I NEED you!" Me: "You just finished wasting my time in February , what the hell is it now?" Ramsbottom: "Sadly, it's--…" Me: "Dammit to hell! Dig Bick Throbbers again!?" Ramsbottom: "God, I hate having to come to you with th--…" Me: "… aight, you be easy. Sticky side down, shiny side up." I attempted to step back into the house and close the door to return to work. Ramsbottom: "They're not even trying to hide this time. They're back to the old name and all." Me: "Well we established that they're protected by a power apparently greater than t...

  Valentine's Day is this weekend, y'all...      While in general, I don't really much care for or about the day, there are little things in sometimes notice as I travel about my plans from week to week. I made a trip through Walmart and one to Walgreens for general merchandise and to refill a prescription, respectively, within the last few weeks. While I was in Walgreens in particular -- mainly because they're all the size of my kitchen now -- I noticed that the whole Plan B display was completely empty. The comedian in me saw how that could be a trip, what with St Valentine's Day approaching, but thought nothing of it.      When I went to Walmart, I had to go to the health and beauty section for body wash and such items. Passing the "family planning" section, I noticed--... wait... Does anyone other than me find it at all weird that what they call the "family planning" section of the drug stores is ACTUALLY the "planning NOT to make a ...

       Where these motherfuckers be getting my number from? I mean with this one, we knew he had my number but I still don't have a damned clue where he got it from. That's right, my phone rang... Me: "Hello?" Caller: "Okay, so you were right." Me: "About what? Whodis?" Caller: "About selling t-shirts not being worth it  That shit was a WHOLE mess." Me: "Jigga--... Y'know what?  I'm not gon' pile on today... Jericho Jackson!" Jericho: "Yeah man..." Me: "So you going to the welding program to get your certificate?" Jericho: "Dafuq? Hell no! I'm going back to rapping!" Me: "Bro, it's been TWO WEEKS!" Jericho: "I know man, but I made sense of the math you gave me and said 'fuck that'." "Me: "Smart...  But also, your raps were ass!" Jericho: "No, my CONCEPT was ass. I'm getting off the Jiggaboo Jackson thing, I told you tha...