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Showing posts with the label mommy what's a hotep?

Hotep Wednesdays... Life Imitates Art

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     It’s kind of like they sit around and think to themselves “just what bullshit can we put forth and then claim plausible deniability of?” and then proceed to insult our intelligence.      We’ve seen this happen with the physical representation of Jesus, every single individual in the book of Exodus in every cinematic presentation ever, Cleopatra, Laurence Olivier as Othello…  I could go on but I think you get it. Let me stop for a moment… Egypt is here: (and in case you went to public school, Africa is actually MUCH larger than that in real life)      Anyway…  In case you looked at the lightskinnded woman above and said “Harpo, who dis woman?” it is Today’s pseudo representation of what a reconstructed Nefertiti should have looked like. What we know is that her daughter, Ankhesenpaaten would go on to be the queen of Tutankamun, one of the most recognizable kings of the 18 th Dynasty from 1300som...

Hotep Luv... I've Finally Found Her

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     We think we’ve finally found her… By “we,” I mean my wives and I as a collective. See here: A woman so virtuous that she knows that acts performed on a man without the express intent of adding – or at least ATTEMPTING – to a strong Black family with strong black babies is time wasted. Everything about her so virtuous, she is even about the life of making sure that a queen knows that she should be in the kitchen preparing for the continued health of her King, Princes/Princesses and Co-Queens.  Suffice it to say, we Hotep-Love this woman.  So much that we made the decision to keep her identity hidden so as to have her all to ourselves.      A coon, apparently not with the movement, asked her about her stance on a man pleasing a woman.  She had an answer for that too.      “Happy wives, happy lives” they always say, right? Anyway.  We decided as a trio to slide into her inbox and are pati...

Hotep Heroes - Prince Henry of Wales

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Prince Harry might low-key be the absolute most wokest person in the whole-ass world… Stay with me here. While his father shook up the game by challenging norms in marrying in the first place – and subsequently divorcing – his mother, it can be said that Charles set the blueprint for the bucking of norms that Harry has now taken to another level. Not only is he NOT slated to marry a woman of royal British lineage, he is marrying one who is not even British. On top of that, he is marrying a woman born in America. He is marrying a divorced woman born in America. And now for the coup de grâce… She is a Black woman. You read that right, the man who is 5th in line to the throne is planning to take himself a woman from a middle class, albeit well-to-do family in America and turn her into a prominent Black princess. Bearing his place in the pecking order of his family, she is five heartbeats (not to be confused with Duck Matthews and them) from being a prominent Black Que...

Hotepsgiving...

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     Sometimes it just isn’t worth it to continually shit in someone’s cornflakes. Rather than take the wind out of the sails that is the conquerors’ favorite holidays, we will take just a few minutes of your time to say what WE are thankful for. -    We’re thankful that white people have not managed to fuck up Chadwick Boseman . -    We’re thankful for President Barack Obama… … no, stay with us here.  The saying is that a presidency isn’t a presidency until the elected individual has ONE legislative victory.  And in playing by those rules, the last previous president who DID have any remains president.  -    We’re thankful for our wives… and our other wives … …  and our OTHER wives -    We’re thankful for Robert Sylvester Kelly -    We’re thankful for then enlightenment that will allow Hollyweird to burn to the fuckingground . -    We’re thankful for Colin Kaeperni...

Hotep Hollywood... Burn, Hollyweird, Burn

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     …  and it couldn’t be happening to a better group of people. We’ve reached a juncture where Karma is showing up to the door and is fully prepared to collect her dues.  The motion picture industry has never been a friend of brown people and has actively sought to use its pull to keep brown people under its thumb.  Look no further than our Hotep Hollywood label for a running count of their fuckery.      I don’t think I need to chronicle every name that has been embroiled in a scandal surrounding things ranging from unwanted sexual advances through more egregious sexual harassment all the way up to and including – sometimes at the same time (!!!) – sexual assault and pedophilia.      Well the chickens are coming to roost.  You can’t do EVERYONE wrong all the time and expect that shit to just get swept under the rug.  Not terribly dissimilar to what has happened to the most of professional spo...

Hotep Hollywood, "The White Savior" ft. 'Welcome Back, Kotter'

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("one of these things, is not like the other things") And yes, “White Savior” is a thing.  Not that it should be a thing but when has that ever put the proper brakes on such foolywang.  Click here and check up on it sometime. Done reading?  Welcome back! [ Phlip note : pun TOTALLY intended]      Welcome Back, Kotter was a sitcom that aired from 1975-1979 and in various forms of syndication for those like myself born in 1979 or after.  In it, we have a wise-ass teacher returning to his Alma Mater to take on the task of whipping a remedial class into shape.  Some good ol’ Stand and Deliver -type shit, right? Wait…  Stand and Deliver came out in 88, strike that from the record.  Anyway, we have failed baseball player and mediocre comedian Gabe Kaplan in his showrunner and acting debut, revising the history of his apparent real life, except this time he gets to come in and help The Sweathogs with comedy and hilarity...

In the Hotep Army...

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(okay, so maybe not quite like that)      Look, the man doesn’t know how to pronounce “Niger” anyway, and that is why he isn’t talking about it. That and he knows he is dead ass wrong.  He knows he is discussing a deceased Black soldier who died on some bullshit caused by some executive branch fuckery and now the executive branch is searching hard for a scapegoat, as they are often wont to do. And since the favorite scapegoat wasn’t the one who banned travel from Chad to the US, causing Chad to pull assistance from the fight with the jihadists, Obama cannot be blamed for the four dead American soldiers. Funny how that works out, no?      What is weird, though, is that a great many of us STILL don’t know the names of the three other dead soldiers, or what they look like.  I shouldn’t have had to Google to find a post with all the contained information , itself only posted less than a day before I typed this sentence. Wh...

Hotep Hollywood... Fear of a Black Westeros

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Hollywood hates us.  Seriously, Hollywood is a passively-declared, but aggressively-behaved enemy of the Ankh-Right.  Scroll through your social media timelines; the hot item of the moment is Game of Thrones.  If you haven’t noticed yet, GoT suffers from a debilitating lack of color.  Apologists want to say that it is due to the fact that the basis for Westeros is Medieval Europe, but we will storm right through that logic red light and blame it on MORE racism in Hollywood. We get Salladhor Saan as a pirate and sellsail, both SUPREMELY enviable professions in a fantasy tale of kings and queens, right?  He gets himself into three episodes over three seasons and is eventually reduced to a joke and sent the fuck on his way in exchange for some gold and leaves his pride behind. Hell, at least they let him live. Xaro Hhoan Daxos gets himself into five episodes in season two.  An exiled self-proclaimed King, he epitomizes the Cocky Negro™ that...

Back to (Hotep) School

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(yes, it is real)      For all of my Hotep Carryings on for the last few months, I still find myself in a moment looking waaay more into what I will write about than one should spend on things they really only intend to make continuous light of and not ever actually take seriously.      So this week, I was going to key on the back to school thing and do “Back to Hotep School,” and my Google search ALMOST led me to go in on an alleged (but unproven-to-be) “Doctor” whose name I will not mention here until I located a website for an ACTUAL Hotep school. [ Phlip note : I hope y'all didn't think I was JOKING when I said I work really hard at behaving this ignorantly] And this was the mindfuck… Actually, really a real legitimate Hotep school, as in by name and all.  Their website was dodgy (or perhaps just vague, given my attention span) with information as to what they were about.  I poked around for several minutes looking...

This Week in Hotep News

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                 …  or more accurately, “drowned out of the news.” Let’s have a look at how “they” have shut us out of our just due media coverage just this week alone. Let’s look at the first and most prominent ongoing issue of interest.  Colin Kaepernick is still unsigned despite half of the NFL preparing to start bums, just to prove a point. Members of the media were on board, it simply didn’t make sense that this man was not on someone’s roster as a #2 waiting for his chance to challenge for #1.      It was taking up too much damned attention. So someone got the word to a couple of white players to show some “solidarity” with the brown ones who continued his fight.  All of a sudden we have the White Saviors we needed to tell us we were not in this alone. Nope™ What we had was a distraction.  With the White Savior, we had a distraction from the uncomfortable truths that Brother...

A Hotep Bedtime Story

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Dad: “Alright, baby…  It’s time for bed.  Brush your teeth and come on so I can tuck you in.” Daughter: “But daddy…” Dad: “No, no buts.  I gotta get you to school and your mothers to work in the morning.” Daughter: “I just wanted you to tell me a bedtime story.” Dad: “Oh…  Okay.  You all tucked in?” Daughter: “Yeah.” Dad: “Well…  Once upon a time, there was a revolutionary man who knew that there was nothing to be gained in standing around in this world waiting for anyone to do for you what you wouldn’t – or as it were – couldn’t do for yourself. Rather than begging for it from people who really had nothing invested emotionally in his success, he started a non-profit.  With it, he would open a school for young black boys and teach them to become standup black men.  What would happen from there would allow these brothers to grow to become strong black leaders who themselves would teach younger brothers after them to gro...