The musings of a madman...

  "Moe, I don't know that this is your wheelhouse, but I'm running low on options now... My wife and I have been married for two and a half years now, and are having a bit of a problem. We're wholly on the same page as far as family goals, i.e. we definitely want children while we're still young enough to enjoy it and have been trying, but we've had trouble conceiving. After months of trying, we saw a doctor and she was diagnosed with a condition that will make conception difficult, and even if successful may not see all the way to birth. We were heartbroken, but not near as much as we would be when we learned the COST of adoption with mind on our preference for a newborn or the non-insurance-covered cost of surrogacy. What we seek from you is advice on how we might be able to proceed in starting our family? We want a newborn, would love to involve our own progeny if at all possible and for it to not break the bank. Please help!"      What I have not tol...

True Story©…                 Wait, I need to set up a little background before I get all the way into this one. One of the things for boy children that comes from the separation from your father right as you enter adolescence is that sex ed is left to a gym teacher who is uncomfortable dealing with presenting factual information while being responded to with snickering.  The only other place to get it is from the streets, and by “streets,” I mean the older dudes in the neighborhood and peers and such. Fact: this is a SHITTY way to learn something so important and is one of the reasons that teenage pregnancies were so prevalent when I was in high school.                 Now, True Story© time. One time when I was 18 or 19, I was CONVINCED that I should write in to Penthouse Forum.  For those who don’t know or won’t Google...

True Story©…                 Fact: EVERY dude will find himself in a bit of a drought sometime or another in his life.  Some take to extreme measures to get themselves out of their funk.  These measures include paying for it, thirsting at every juncture, begging for it, tricking off on a couple of bills or expensive meals or (perhaps most reasonably) investing in some internets porn and resolving the issue in-house. Anyway, a few years ago, I was in a bit of a slump and considering I don’t thirst, beg or pay and pr0ns was getting boring to me, I had to come up with something.                 It so happened that this was RIGHT around the time that the thwarted shoe and underwear bombers situations took place, so increased TSA scrutiny in airports began.  Soon after that, complaints of people being felt up by creepy ...