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Showing posts with the label black people love chicken

Hotep Wednesdays... Life Imitates Art

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     It’s kind of like they sit around and think to themselves “just what bullshit can we put forth and then claim plausible deniability of?” and then proceed to insult our intelligence.      We’ve seen this happen with the physical representation of Jesus, every single individual in the book of Exodus in every cinematic presentation ever, Cleopatra, Laurence Olivier as Othello…  I could go on but I think you get it. Let me stop for a moment… Egypt is here: (and in case you went to public school, Africa is actually MUCH larger than that in real life)      Anyway…  In case you looked at the lightskinnded woman above and said “Harpo, who dis woman?” it is Today’s pseudo representation of what a reconstructed Nefertiti should have looked like. What we know is that her daughter, Ankhesenpaaten would go on to be the queen of Tutankamun, one of the most recognizable kings of the 18 th Dynasty from 1300something BC.  What we can surmise is that human migration was

Hotep Heroes Series... Black Panther

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     I called it back in October, when I put out the call to ABSOLUTELY protect Chadwick Boseman at all costs. [ link ] The upcoming movie Black Panther is an event to us.  It is finally the chance to see Black Excellence in cinema.  Yes, we last visited the idea of Black Excellence with October’s Marshall, but comparative attention should be paid here.  As of when I type this sentence, Marshall has cleared only $10.1 domestic, not even covering the cost of production, while Black Panther broke Fandango’s advance ticket sales record the day they went on sale.      So back to it…  Black Excellence.  Portrayal of someone who looks like us as royalty.  Royalty to be admired, royalty of unimaginable wealth, physical ability, intelligence and respect.  Compare this to the slaves, dope fiends, coons, criminals and philanderers “they” love to bankroll for us usually.  Black Excellence.  The enthusiasm is palpable, people who don’t even CARE about comic book movies are talking ab

Great Moments in Black History - Family Matters Edition

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The date was January 29, 1993… Wait, hold on a second.  Y’all remember Family Matters, right? The show was a spinoff of Perfect Strangers, apparently the black lady who worked with them at the newspaper had a hilarious family with a more hilarious neighbor and showrunners decided that their show and their random negrous shenanigans would be more interesting in the long run than Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous.      The whole show got aped by the popularity of the aforementioned neighbor and “Family Matters” fell victim to the phenomena of black people referring to shows by the name of the most popular character on the show as the title instead of actually mentioning the show itself by its actual title. [ Phlip note : yes, this was a real thing, I shit you not] Anyway… As at least one of the two of you may recall, the show began with three children; Eddie, Laura and Judy Winslow.  In the 4 th season, it is rumored that the real-life parents of the youngest

Hotep Luv... I've Finally Found Her

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     We think we’ve finally found her… By “we,” I mean my wives and I as a collective. See here: A woman so virtuous that she knows that acts performed on a man without the express intent of adding – or at least ATTEMPTING – to a strong Black family with strong black babies is time wasted. Everything about her so virtuous, she is even about the life of making sure that a queen knows that she should be in the kitchen preparing for the continued health of her King, Princes/Princesses and Co-Queens.  Suffice it to say, we Hotep-Love this woman.  So much that we made the decision to keep her identity hidden so as to have her all to ourselves.      A coon, apparently not with the movement, asked her about her stance on a man pleasing a woman.  She had an answer for that too.      “Happy wives, happy lives” they always say, right? Anyway.  We decided as a trio to slide into her inbox and are patiently waiting on her response.  We would love the chance to brin

Hotep Politics... Run Oprah Run!!!

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     Look, we didn’t watch the Golden Globes, but we have also been looking in on the news in its wake.  Apparently my third wife in waiting Oprah Winfrey gave a moving speech in which she took Hollyweird to task for its misgivings in unauthorized diddling. Read it here .      The speech was seen as one of those moments that touches off an apparent run toward the presidency and in an Amerikkka where it is no longer necessary to BE a politician to become a politician, the internets has gone nutso.      And we support this, full heartedly.  No, seriously, we are ALL the way here for this.  We’ll offer up a few reasons why… 1 – Her net worth is higher than 45 can readily prove his is…      She could offer not to take a salary as president and actually tangibly follow through with it. 2 – She started that school for girls in Afrika…      Shows she is about the cause for brown people, more than any president prior to her.  If self-proclaimed Hotepest Hotep Gawdt Supreme

True Story... Throwback Thursday

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     I am not “popular” but a lot of people seem to know who I am.  It is rare that I go out anywhere within an hour or so from my city that I don’t bump into SOMEONE I know.  Bear in mind for those of you who didn’t learn in elementary school that North and South Carolina are two different states, we do have paved roads and indoor plumbing here in NC and I live in the 68 th -largest city in the US.      Anyway… Back in November, Dollar General had Hot Wheels buy one get one free and I made a point of trying the stock in each of the 5 within five miles of my house.  On a random Friday morning I happened to have off burning up some time, I stopped into one of them and bumped into this girl I had some dealings with when I was 16 doing some before-school shopping with her apparently high school-age son.  I guess you could call it “puppy love,” but in 1995, she was a 'girlfriend' in my 16 year-old mind, at least for a little while.  More on that in a bit though.  I saw her

Phood Phun with Phlip -- Egg Rolls; Keep the Rolls

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Low-Carb living… Sometimes you will come to things you’re used to having but can’t due to the vessel normally contained.  Egg rolls would be one of those things.  This doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t take advantage of everything that normally goes on the inside, just that now you need to be prepared to eat with a fork instead. Start with sautéing the fresh-grated ginger and garlic in the sesame oil: In with the bag of coleslaw: Once that is properly tender, you come in with the chicken: Now is also time to construct a bit of a sauce: Everyone in the pool, mix it all together and cook together, shredding the chicken in with everything else: Garnish with some green onions, sesame seeds and more sriracha because Phillip likes his food HOT, and serve:      Sometimes I feel we’re totally oversimplifying these things when we do them, but this is one of those things that is really just as easy as

Hotep Heroes -- The Joseph Walter Jackson Memorial Black Father of the Year Award

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(wait…  Joe Jackson isn’t dead yet?  Well damn, is he like a little bit sick or something?  Oh well, carrying on!)      I think you see where I am going with this one.  Previous winners would include the likes of Earl Woods and Richard Williams. While the days of whooping your kids asses in order for you to live off of their success are gone, there still exists a world where you can push them to continue to do something they may or may not actually want to do to the point of extreme success, for which you will yourself be rewarded with a share of.      F’rinstance, no one exactly knows whether or not a young Eldrick Woods actually wanted to play golf, but his father – an old-school Black man raised through Jim Crow – pushed his son to be good at what was and still kind of is a white man’s game.  It worked to the point where he was the best to do it for a very long time.      On that same token, no one exactly knows whether Venus and Serena Williams themselves wanted

Phood Phun with Phlip -- Jambalaya Love

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     Sometimes the best things come up in the last seconds of a planning session. It was Sunday, we had a post to make for Tuesday and we hadn’t even been to the damn grocery store yet.  This may or may not be because someone was couponing instead.   While in Sam’s getting our haul for the two weeks, the couponer in chief Mimi suggested a jambalaya, a comfort food we’ve all come to know and love just in time for the cooling weather outside.      Cool, something we all like, something DEAD simple to make.  Basically mixing everything in the pot and letting the flavors marry nicely. Wait…  I don’t eat pork.  She CAN’T eat shrimp.  We aren’t eating rice.  How in the blue hell are we going to pull this off?  Quite easily, actually.  Let’s get into it. 1 cup each green onion, green bell pepper 1 can, rotel 2 cups diced onions Meat from a rotisserie chicken, or about a pound of shredded chicken of your choosing 1/2lb turkey smoked sausage (but you can use beef or pork, ev

Phood Phun with Phlip... When We Rice (and Chicken)

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Guess who got to play with the stove without adult supervision this week?      This week, taking a break from taking a break on the diet thing for the holidays, we wanted chicken fried rice.  We wanted chicken fried rice, but not with actual rice because, you know, low-carb living… Enter (again): riced cauliflower.  Make it yourself by grating a cauliflower or buy a bag frozen at Aldi for $1.69.      Honestly, this dish will include only three main ingredients: 1 12oz bag riced cauliflower 1-1.5lb boneless/skinless chicken 1cup green onion The cooking part is really simple too.  Start with the chicken, sautéing in the pan, add some ground ginger and salt/pepper to season, all to taste. Once the chicken is done, set it aside and the cauliflower can go into the pan. Cook until the liquid is mostly cooked out and add the onlions. Cook until THOSE are wilted and add soy sauce to desired color/taste. Add the chicken (or whatever

Hotepsgiving...

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     Sometimes it just isn’t worth it to continually shit in someone’s cornflakes. Rather than take the wind out of the sails that is the conquerors’ favorite holidays, we will take just a few minutes of your time to say what WE are thankful for. -    We’re thankful that white people have not managed to fuck up Chadwick Boseman . -    We’re thankful for President Barack Obama… … no, stay with us here.  The saying is that a presidency isn’t a presidency until the elected individual has ONE legislative victory.  And in playing by those rules, the last previous president who DID have any remains president.  -    We’re thankful for our wives… and our other wives … …  and our OTHER wives -    We’re thankful for Robert Sylvester Kelly -    We’re thankful for then enlightenment that will allow Hollyweird to burn to the fuckingground . -    We’re thankful for Colin Kaepernick… … we’re still cautiously wary of his lightskinndedness, though See?  How hard was

Phood Phun with Phlip... All Pies on Me

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Get it? See, because it is a pot pie!  And 2Pac had that song that and album that--…  Never mind. This was INITIALLY supposed to be a dessert post, but the logistics of a dessert escaped us because someone has started back couponing and the other is preparing for Mattel to release the new Hot Wheels lines this week.  Crap, I am off topic again. Anyway. Mimi came up with this one TOTALLY on the fly without my input.  It isn’t terribly difficult to make either. Start with 2tbsp butter, 1 cup each of onions and carrots, 1/2 tbsp each salt/pepper, 1tbsp thyme and 1tbsp minced garlic: (note: carrots are NOT considered low-carb, but for as little as this really is, you'll be fine) Sauté the veggies and then add cooked chicken.  Out of convenience, we went with a rotisserie chicken, as we were both out of the house and Mimi was working at the last minute:      Heat the chicken through and stir in 1 cup of chicken broth and ½ cup of heav