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Showing posts with the label life and love

When you see her, thank her...

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       I have stopped writing two times in the last ten years. The first time was when I split from my ex wife the woman I married once.   I was going down THROUGH it.   I felt like shit and nothing I enjoyed was actually enjoyable.   My beautiful lawn went to shit, my house was a mess and my life was more of one.   All things coming down around me, the LAST thing on my mind was putting these fingers to the keys. The next time was after I changed departments in 2018 and was no longer spending 8 hours a day on a second computer that my employer was not monitoring my activity on.   Sprinkle in a week and a half hospital stop 7 weeks later and shit got real, like too real to be worried about my creative output.      Of late, as in over the past three months, my wife (no modifiers, I am actually married to this one) , has been pushing me to sit down and get my ass back to creative work. “Why aren’t you writing?”   she would ask.   I had an answer in 2018 when I apparently narrowly e

True Story©... Get Back on the Getback

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     I don’t forget shit… Let me rephrase that, I do forget a great many things, but I don’t forget things that matter a great deal to me.      In August, I told y’all about a job I had taken on helping a dude finally decide whether or not he should go through with marrying his girlfriend.  The work in said story was foiled by one of my mans named Marlon who basically, figuratively and literally fucked my money. [ Link , catch up and come back, you will need it if you do not remember]      Anyway, I am not as mad at Marl as I probably should be for how it went down because – as he so succinctly put it – her ass was absolutely stunning.  Besides, we been friends since middle school and I guess I should have known that he would probably fuck the girl first chance he got. Anyway…      Three weeks ago, Marlon calls me with a quandary… Marlon: “Phlip!” Me: “Whatup Marls?” Marlon: “Shit man…  You good?” Me: “All things considered, still mad about that check

Out of the Desert

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“A person who has only known the desert has no good reason to miss the trees” ~Me, just now      I say that to say that you never know what you DIDN’T have before until you actually have it. A recent VERY candid conversation with a tiny friend of mine under one of  her FB posts led to my discussion of how I handled the end of my last two prior relationships.  I don’t understand stress eating, except I do.  With me, I'd stress drink, and anyone who has been inebriated before understands “intoxicated bored eating.”  Throw in a bit of depression and work-related stress and you don’t leave the house except for work and supplies.  In my comment, I explained how I had gone down through this to the point where it caused me an illness that I have since shaken, and I have since lost all of the weight I gained to boot.  Lifestyle changes and such, I hope y'all are reading about some of it on Tuesdays. I credited my current lady with helping me back from it, and my tiny fri

True Story©... A Million First Dates

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     There are always times that people can be tested.  Apparently being a people watcher and all-around curmudgeon all of these years has made me pretty good at testing people for their commitment to what is important to me. Sure, there was the one time I messed that up, but we all slip here and there and it is best that we simply learn from it and get on with our lives. Anyway…      You know what is worse than a first date in general?  A BAD first date?  For every first date that ends in surprise sex that you didn’t have to ASK her for will be the one who has printed a list of terroristic demands that she has come up with with the assistance of her miserable friends who want to make sure she stays miserable with them. For every lunch date that turns into 3 hours chilling in the park, there is the one who complains about the restaurant and every other little thing she can come up to in her short-sighted-ass conversation. These are the ones you can’t WAIT to end. But wh

True Story©... Flash Mob

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     My best ideas are most often poorly received and fall flat on their faces.  It is not a result of poor planning or ill intentions as much as it might be simple bad luck or planning shit with the wrong fucking people. Not gonna kick myself about it, though I do that from time to time unfairly to myself, but it is the nature of a mind like mine.      Anyway…  This is True Story©, not “shit on Phlip” time, so let me quit fucking around. As a great many of the two of you know, I was once (briefly) married and I am currently involved with a pretty fucking awesome lady.  What y’all don’t know though is that I proposed one time before either of these women existed in my life. It was late 2002.  I had finally shaken the funk of my previous ex moving away for law school and the fact that we couldn’t work through an indefinite long-distance relationship.  Shit happens.  I had met and fell for someone new and we were giving each other literally all of the time that a couple

True Story©... The Burden of TMI

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     Sometimes I ROYALLY fuck things up, despite beginning with the greatest of intentions… One time back in, what, 2009-2010ish?  I posted a status on FB with the intentions of posting some of what came back to me here.  I never quite got the number of responses I wanted, so I never managed to get a post up and going.      I am having a hard time locating that post, but basically it asked “if you could write a letter to your 13 year-old self, what would you say?” Some responses were comical (“don’t go to work on [day] so that bitch won’t fire you…”) , some were poignant (“kids are mean, don’t let those boys in 3 rd grade damage you forever…”) and some seemed to miss the point altogether.      One time, three years later, I went back to the email I received from one person and thought over it. [ Phlip note : I removed names to protect the guilty parties] (apologies, I normally downsize images, but this one needs to be seen in full) I Was Not Ready  

True Story© Hotep Pussy

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(If only I had known then what I know now)      Sometimes I am inspired…  Sometimes I draw on memories of times that are now behind me.  Sometimes I let other people’s experiences teach me.  Sometimes I know full well what has happened to people resultant of their behaviors and still behave ignorantly just the same. So one day I gets it in my head that I have never actually been with a hotep chick.  If you don’t know what a hotep is, I strongly suggest   Googling the term and coming back. [ Note: UrbanDictionary for all the laughs] Welcome back. Now, for the sake of conversation, we are being very specific in our definition of “been with,” applying it to mean “made sex with.”  I joined a couple of FB groups to do some insider research and get my foot in the door.  I did all of the “stay woke” I could muster, dropping the BEST lines I could come up with to ingratiate myself.  All the red black and green and "stay woke" bullshit I could cook up to make me more i