The musings of a madman...

       As you may or not recall, I apparently have a son... I mean that as in only "technically," because legally, I only have a two daughters -- we don't use "step" in this house except in matters of extreme necessity. Rather than drag this tale through an infuriating side quest, I will send you [ here ] and ask that you return when you're ready to proceed. ... welcome back...      So yeah, son... We approached the period since he came to my house as more of a friendship than family, as our blood relation is honestly nothing more than a previously-veiled matter of inconvenient consanguinity. I say that to say we exchange text messages at random times of day, I send and receive memes and answer queries for advice -- again, as I might any of my friends. He has commendably and thankfully avoided employing terms that would have him refer to me as his father, even if he is growing to see me as a father figure. ... until I got a phone call after work... M...

     For 241 years of American history, it would be a mark of honor to be specifically mentioned by the President of the United States in most capacities. Beginning on November 9, 2016 the dynamic changed to the point where being mentioned by the president was a miss-or-hit affair.  “Don’t you mean ‘hit-or-miss’?,” I hear you asking.  Trust me, when this motherfucker talks about anything, it is soon going to hell.      So now I am no longer a dude who tried to rob Santa for all the world’s gifts and got a undepletable bag of coal for my troubles, I am now a thug with a shotgun who threatens members of the media.      In the past ten months, I have been… -    Roped into a domestic (illegal) sale of coal… -    … parlayed that into sales into other industries… -    … parlayed THAT into even bigger profits and made a ton of money; more than enough to last me a lifetime if in...