The musings of a madman...

       Humans don’t deserve dogs… I do, make no mistakes. I treat my buddies like the family members I brought them home to be. Everyone in the house talks to the boys like they’re children and I would not have it any other way. We will return to why that matters in a bit.      Lately, here in our “live forever” push, I workout 3-5 cumulative hours a day 5-6 days a week like an archdemon and Wife Person™ has gotten into yoga. She asks me frequently if I would care to join her in the yoga class and I politely decline. It just isn’t my scene, I need CHAOS in my physical activities. This doesn’t stop her from repackaging the question and asking more, though. Wife Person™: “Going to yoga after work tomorrow, you wanna come with?” Me: “Nah, I’m good.” Wife Person™: “I figured you’d say that.” Me: “But you keep askin’ though.” Wife Person™: “But I think I can change your mind this week.” Me: “I’m listening…” Wife Person™: “Puppy yoga.” Me: “PUPPIES?...

  Man, it has been a wild couple of weeks here… Month before last, I bought a lottery ticket and it has been sitting under my keyboard unchecked since the day I took it out of my wallet. Week before last, I was cleaning my desk of extraneous receipts and old mail items and happened upon it.   “Lemme scan this shit” I thought as I opened the lottery app on my phone to do so. So… I called in sick for only the third time in 16 years working here.   One time Ava was sick and the second time I had been rushed to the hospital FROM MY DESK the previous day. I have retained a lawyer and an accountant for the tasks of protecting myself and making sure these ladies in my life are taken care of (trusts for the girls, etc…). Next Friday is my last day employed, like ever.   I worked a notice because I actually like my manager and she deserves at least my professionalism. I have begun arrangements to purchase the land of the home we will be living in, while also begi...

     As both of you know from a previous post, my daughter is nine years of age. Factoring in one year of Pre-K, one of Kindergarten and three years of grade school in my rear view, this Monday was due to be my sixth swing at this “first day of school” thing.   Then back after I got home from Vegas on Super Bowl Sunday, the whole Wuhan Bat Flu ™  thing hit the states and a failure of nationwide leadership served it that six weeks later that all the kids would finish the school year in the crib with their newly-working-from-home parental units.   A summer spent handling things not much better wound up meaning that STILL working-from-home parents like myself would be also helping to facilitate virtual learning with their students close by during work days.      This story is not about that, but it helps to frame the “why” of it all.   Also, big shout to Khan Academy, DuoLingo and Read Theory for keeping my baby sharp ov...

Sometimes I sit and I watch and listen to people.  Not to get anything out of it so much as just to have something to do with a little of my time.  Naturally, this requires that I go out in public and kinda sit in my own space with my good ears on as well.  As much as I people-watch, I mainly tend to mind my own business and jettison a situation from my head as soon as it has ended and that is largely for the better of what remains of the little mental health I have left. But oh, this one day…                 I am in Wal Mart and this woman is giving her dude the BUSINESS!  NagNagNagNagNag, nothing he could do was right, nothing he could say was satisfactory and silence didn’t seem to be getting it either.  Each time I passed them it was something different and each time you could see the man becoming less and less of a human with EVERY time she addressed him, he just kind of...

[ Phlip note: I know I hit y’all off Tuesday already, but that was special coverage for the pagan holiday] True Story©   Disciplining strangers’ kids without touching them.                 One of the problems I hardly EVER have at home or in public is my child doing anything that requires any real discipline further than “Ava, knock it off.” Other people, though?  Y’all have some fucking DEMONS and seem to want to spend time with them in public instead of your own homes.  Bad behavior should not be rewarded with the kind of excursions and adventures that people tend to grant their children.  Hell, one time when I was like 8 or 9, my brother and I were not allowed to go to the damned grocery store with my mom because I knocked like 4 jars of mayonnaise (this was when the jars were still made of glass) on the floor in Winn Dixie and a man slipped on it and almost fell. But I d...