Showing posts with the label misadventure

True Story©… Best Laid Plans

       Despite roughly a year of shooting my shot, I am unfortunately still not rich…      The closest I have come was with my crypto bets, which if I had trusted more at the time, would have been more lucrative.  Who can forget when I was curb serving the city all the available Plan B back at Valentine's Day?  Beyond that, my lawn hustle is doing me pretty well. Live and learn, I know. I have been accosted by several police officers over the course of the ‘Rona year and I can only be thankful that the wife person was around to talk me out of an arrest or – more likely – roadside execution.      It’s been fun though.   I have been places (sort of) and met people (from six feet away) and somehow have come off with more money than I might have under other conditions.   Wait…   “somehow”?   There is no mystery involved.   I work from home, I am buying literally a third of the gas I would otherwise and I literally can’t go spending on outside the house things as I would if

True Story©… Out of Office

     I don’t know if y’all noticed, but I been away since Christmas Eve.  Consistent output every Thursday morning at 7:30am with the exception of a reset week I took in October. One could assign my disappearance to it being SATURDAY before I noticed that last Thursday was Thursday.  That would be too easy an explanation though.      In fact, that would be too convenient an explanation in a world where the randomest of shit happens to me every few damned days or so. …  so it is the Sunday after Christmas.  I dropped my daughter off with her mother for the week.  I get a phone call, and y’all know I hate those with the burning passion that Mitch McConnell has for poor people. Me: “Uhh…  Hello?” Caller: “Gat-DAYUM, n**ga, don’t act so surprised to hear from me!” Me: “It’s just that your calls usually precede an adventure.” Marlon: “I know man, I’m legit sorry for that.” Me: “Wait, what was that?” Marlon: “What was what?” Me: “What did you just say.” Marlon: “C’mon, m

True Story©… You’re Fired!

       Not to let anyone in on more than they need to know about me, but in my adult-adult life, I have worked full time for three companies.   I will not name any of the three, but you’ve assuredly heard of all of them.   I will cross fourteen years with my current employer next week.   More importantly – to me at least – each of my prior two company changes was of my own volition and I was not removed from the premises by any security folks for cause or anything such.      One benefit of being consistent with a place of employment is the accrual of leave time.   With my first real full-time (as in with a company that I didn’t work for when I was 18 and actually offered benefits) employer there was no expiration of leave time and I was so busy with school that I never had time to be far enough away to warrant taking time off for any real reason. A couple of years in, I found myself staring at WEEKS of accumulated off time and no real reason to use it.   Add to that the fact that I

True Story©... Friends for Life

(I promise, this will make sense soon enough) “Marlon…  Why does it feel like you’re setting me up for some shit?” “Chill, Phlip, we GOT this…  I have a plan, dude!”      My best-laid plans normally come from the WORST of places.  I don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing, but I s’pect it has a lot to do with why Marlon and I have remained friends for the last 17 years and I am sure that it is precisely where Moe Phillips came from.      For all this time I have known Marlon, he has only “met” Moe twice.  I am more than sure that their first encounter is one of the major reasons we have managed to remain friends for so long despite the shit we have been doing to one another for so long.      It was 2002…  I had just broken up with an ex.  It wasn’t an UGLY breakup so to say; just that she was not from here and when she graduated college, I was still in and her daddy had already paid for her to go to Law School in Texas.  We made shit work long distance fo