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Showing posts with the label summer vacation

True Story©… Getting to Know You

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       Ever told a joke so good that they wanted you to come down to HR and tell it?      Have I ever told y’all how much I hate smalltalk?      Is ANYONE wondering where the hell I have been for the last two weeks? No, Stephanie did not follow me home and accost me on my front lawn and cause me to assault her or otherwise not be able to leave the house.      The answer is actually a bit more entertaining.   With everything else happening in my life these days (more on that later – WAY later) , I’ve not spent my normal time out having adventures like I normally do.   At least not the kind that cost me much money. I did , however, indulge myself in my normal paid time off for the most of two weeks as I always do in the summer.   Rather than go off and spend money I will need later, I did that thing I mentioned some months ago where I get a job I don’t intend to keep.      In order to n ot let anyone in on anything they don’t need to know about me, the company will remain un

True Story©… Gullible’s Travels

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       Thursday of last week was my birthday… I say that to say that I was off celebrating.      Next week is my daughter’s birthday.   For the first time in her whole life, she will not be with me on her birthday.   She will be with my ex wife a woman I had a wedding with once.   I say that to say that we are celebrating this week/end instead.      Wife person came up with the idea that we jump over to Sweet Valley Ranch in Fayetteville for the dinosaur thing today, I can report back on my findings when we’ve done it.      The point of this story is yesterday though… We had to clear the front room of the house before we left to prepare it for some contractors to come through and do their thing on our floors, then take the dogs to the sitter’s place, then grab one more niece and hit the road.   Only a 90ish minute trip to the destination and there we are. This is where the shit gets crazy.      We arrive to the hotel and I am unloading the back of the wagon and the kids wh

True Story©... The Wrath of the Cicadas

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(yes, y'all have seen this image before)      Don’t call me.   Don’t call me unless someone is dead or fucking bleeding on the way to the upper room. My first several years of reasonably-compensated non-retail employment involved being tethered to a phone and I have learned to hate that shit now, even when that phone is my wireless for most other communication than texts.      June 18 th , day 23 of furlough, my phone rings.   I ignore it from across the room while I play GRID on the PlayStation. …   it rings again.   I holler to my wife in her office in the back “what the FUCK, are you calling me!?”   She is either asleep or ignores me. … it. rings. again.   What the HELL?!!?   I say as I pause the game and head over to the desk to take it off the charger.   It is a weird number, I Google and learn that it is from one of those weird Eastern European countries, like Moldova or Romania or Slavobia or whatever the fuck ever they’re named these days.   Well I ain’t callin