True Story©… Green Thumbin’
This summer, I pulled in side money with my lawn mower and arming myself with a collection of sob stories to sell up the source of my abilities. All told, the hustle made me a plenty of extra cash for sneakers and narcotics using my spare time while also serving as a several-hours-a-week supplement to my weekly exercise regimen. It stands to reason that pictures posted to my socials of my own yard (below) and of a couple of the ones I am duly and fairly paid for (not pictured) serve as my “résumé” to any interested party, but the funny thing about human beings is that they want to know shit that might be none of their damned business. When I moved into my house in 2021, I was left with nasty work in the way of needing to fix this yard. Over the course of this, I noted what a godawful job my next door neighbor’s yard man was doing of keeping hers up, despite the fact that he lives FIVE houses down. In conversation with her, she decided that perhaps she would rath