True Story©... Please heed the warnings

True Story©…

                Sometimes I operate opposite of my apparent plan to see the world burn and try to warn people that they’re about to do something SUPER stupid.  Unfortunately, 98.772% of the time, these attempts fall on deaf ears and people wind up failing anyway.

You see it all the time on FaceBook…

                “I just won $700 on a scratchoff”
                “I’m pregnant”
                “I’m gay”
                “I think I am in love with someone”
                “I still love my ex”
                “If you’re in High Point and have $15, you can come get this pussy”
                “I’m moving to Mongolia for a new job!”
                “I caught my husband cheating, someone come help me get rid of this body”

…  and this is where I find it in myself to get involved.

                Someone on my timeline posted that last one.  Well, someone on my timeline posted one of EACH of these (except the $15 one, that is an inside joke), but I figured the one that might get someone touched was that last one, so I had to jump to quick and decisive action to help the unlucky soul.  If I couldn’t been the first respondent, I wouldn’t have even bothered.  Understanding internet memetics and how things are designed to spread based sometimes on people’s refusal to think before they act.  Next thing you know, everyone is wearing underwear on their heads or some shit.  So I responded…
                “Don’t fall for it, you’ll comment below of inbox her about this and then you’ll have to post one of these as YOUR status”
I followed that with a response to my own comment saying “watch EVERYONE ignore this, the FIRST and usually most important comment and get themselves caught up.”

                Man, if I had ONLY known how “caught up” dumbasses on the internet are willing to get themselves.  This particular chick apparently has a ton of friends who know her family and their general whereabouts pretty well, so instead of responding, two of them left work early and went to HIS job and let the air out of his tires.  When he came outside to find this had happened, he went back in, came back out properly dressed to handle the situation, takes to a knee to assess if there was any damage or just someone being a dick to him for no reason – well no reason that HE was personally aware of – and just as his attention was on the underside of his car and his tires, they ran up on him and beat him with the straps from their purses.  When he tried to get up and make sense of what was happening to him, he bumped his head on the car and was out cold.
After beating on him a bit more while still knocked out, his assailants were in the wind.

                Meanwhile, back on FB…
The normal comments are still taking place.
“Aw naw, girl…  you was too good for him anyway”
“lets go out for drinks and replace his ass”
“see, n**gas can’t appreciate a good thing”
“I know a good lawyer girl”

…  and then comes her NEXT status…

“OH MY GOD!!!  Someone let all the air out of my husband’s tires and then beat him unconscious when he was trying to fix it!  WHO DID THIS???????”

Wait…  put a pin in that…
I have always opined that behind every bumb ditch (think about that as you read it) is one or several more who are committed ONLY to encouraging the continuing of her bumb ditchery.

Remove pin, but remember the lesson, it will come up on the quiz…

One of her homegirls is QUICK to own up to felony aggravated assault in a publicly-visible social media post (see?  Remember the lesson EVERY time, these things are FACTS).

“Hell yeah, girl, me and [other friend] left work and went to that n**ga job and WHOOPED that ass like the little boy he is.  He tried to play dead on us, but we ain’t give a fuck, we just kept beating.  Teach that n**ga a lesson for doing my girl wrong like that!”

                Oh boy…  Ever get to see something AMAZING play out at the hands of people who do not realize they should probably take a conversation private, lest charges will be pressed and lives (further) ruined?  Well the petty in me is glad that common sense should be treated as a super power sometimes, because it was RIGHT then that we saw that these ignorant girls had jumped right into action and let a social media joke escalate into some real-world drama.  And MAN was it good.  All kinds of bitches and hoes were called, threats to press charges and mention of how there could be implications of his employment, then FURTHER implications that SHE might have actually cheated on HIM first.
All of this on her FB wall for her mama, family, friends and God to see!

It took all I had in me to not post a funny picture in the comment thread, but hey, I TRIED to warn the dumb people who happened upon the initial post not to get caught, but some people are apparently just about that action boss.

Oh well, I tried!