Why I should probably not run a pr0ns production company

As ever, the course of conversations come to me thinking of means to be an ass in the face of what people usually enjoy, even if this entails the adding of elements that they HATE about things they love...

  • 4am reruns of 80s sitcoms
  • Comedy central
  • Pr0ns

Those are things that people generally enjoy, no?

Well during those 4am rerun sessions and on Comedy Central at ANY time of the day, you WILL be subjected to the tearjerker “send us some money” commercials with Sarah McLachlan and a half-mutilated domesticated animal set to the tune of music that could make a Georgia prosecutor cry.

Many of us love pr0ns too, and what’s not to love about it?
I will TELL you what’s not to love about it is that 15 minutes of advertising at the beginning of the DVD that NO DVD player is equipped to skip without 10 minutes of button pushing. While I am convinced that the hassle that these ads were a large part of what drove millions of perves from DVD to the internet, I am sure that I could use them in my “whose day can I fuck up” quests.
I arrived to the means of simply starting a porn production house, where we distribute DVDs and such.

Imagine it now… You’ve bought a porn DVD, and gotten home with it and your wife is not home yet. You put it in the player and you’re in the middle of a scene, Lex Steele is pulverizing some unseemly allegedly “amateur” woman and the scene is nearly over, with the promise of more.

… and then…

“Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhdammit,” this could become the new RickRoll.

What makes it worse is that it is programmed on the disc in the same manner of the aforementioned unskippable ones, so you’re left with no choice but to sit through the commercial or turn the DVD player off altogether.
Needless to say, if you were doing what many people do when such cinema is in view, then the mood with which to do so has surely now been killed. You may even find yourself so fucked up over it that your wife will come home and find you in the act.

The homie Jamal has convinced himself that a company of this ilk would become the first porno company to CAUSE Erectile Dysfunction with that kind of business model…
but MAN would it be entertaining.

And all this comes from a quick conversation in response to a vid I posted on FaceBook on Saturday.


Kousen Tora said…
Man this is your best one!!! Hands down!! I read it and I am *DEADED* every single time!!!!

I let one of my friends read it & he said it sounds like some stuff that we would do *ponders moment* just for Shiggles!!!

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