The Process...

     I’m spaced out in the car.
I’m sitting in front of the coffee table, hands on my chin staring into nothingness.
I am in the middle of a workout mumbling to myself.
I randomly chuckle while I am in the shower.
I take the long way home or circle the block one or five more times.

     “Babe, what’s wrong?” my wife asks.  Every time, I tell her nothing is wrong, I’m just thinking.  When she (inevitably) asks “about what?” I can only shift my eyes and shake my head.  She is beginning to get it.

     This is my creative process.  By the time I put my fingers to the keyboard, my map is already drawn and my hands are already driven to what must be done.  I have thought it through, I have planned where I want to go and how I will get there.  My mind is an EVER active place.  While this usually manifests itself in a cavalcade of memes on my FB timeline or in a weird dance of nervous energy that manifests in me doing, fixing or cleaning something in the house (we will talk about this vegetable garden someday), it USUALLY sees ideas volleyed in my head that will not see the light of day any time in the near future if ever.

     I fight myself over ideas, I challenge them and if I can’t make it stand up against my nitpickery then it becomes cutting room floor shit.
But I NEVER sweep the floor.
What may not go over well now for whatever idea is being bandied about may fit perfectly inside of a later fit of silliness.  I could explain how and where I have done this in True Story many a time and a user may not ever know it except in instances where I have dragged back in recurring themes or characters.

     I want to say “I’m not ignoring you, I didn’t know you were there.” But that would be innocently rude.
My thoughts are that loud, and I daydream in full color.  The environment I was raised in causes me to enjoy alone time and to seek silence.  And yes, my chosen musical accompaniment counts as “silence in this weird little world I have created.  I’m not afraid to laugh out loud at myself, even when I am the only one in the world who understands – or even KNOWS – the joke.

     Bear with me, nothing ill is intended.  I am just doing what I do.


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