True Story©… The Poo Party!
My birthday was
last Saturday…
While I will gladly continue to accept gifts and donations for the remainder of
the month of July, this will be the last time I mention it here until probably
next summer.
As I mentioned
last week, I shirked the idea/expense/effort of a big cookout in lieu of
putting on a Burger King crown and just having people show up and hang out with
me all day in public places. I chose to
see Indiana Jones, to go bowling and then to eat Mexican food before heading
back to the house. All told, it allowed
people to choose what level of their own entertainment they would partake in
and pay for their own involvement in it.
Think of it kind of in the vein of a destination wedding, wherein your
presence itself is the present. That is
literally all I asked anyone for.
Of course, things
being as they are – but thankfully not to spoil a parade of INdoor activities – it would rain off
and on all day as the weather is wont to do in NC. That means I couldn’t invite people back to
the house after the sun goes down for a taste of bourbon and a bonfire around
my fire pit.
Instead, I decided
to play on the “people don’t be listenin’” element of humanity and invited
about five to ten people over on SUNDAY to the house for a “lil’ poo party.”
No one questioned what I had said, just asked what they should bring and what
the address was. I informed them to perhaps
bring drinks and maybe a little something for the grill and I could hook up my
big speakers to the computer in the garage and we have a good little time out
in my big back yard. At no point have I
explicitly said what would be expected to take place in said big back yard, and
that was by design.
I was asked “should
I wear a swimsuit?” and responded with a chuckle “of course! Who wouldn’t
want to see that?”
I was asked if it was kid friendly, and of course it was as my daughter came
home to me from her week with her mother.
I was asked “I didn’t know you’d gotten a pool back there” and I just kinda
muttered Wake me up, before ya go-go
and never actually faced the question, as I have recently explained I might do
sometimes.
Okay, so it is
Sunday afternoon, right?
I have cracked the garage window and fed the cables to my two big speakers out
onto the patio. I’m grilling hamdogs and
hotburgers on the deck and people have been instructed to come around to the
gate entrance instead of through the house so as to not arouse the interest of
the dogs.
Imagine the look
on people’s faces when they found the back yard decorated with poop-shaped
balloons I had ordered on Amazon and plastic cutouts of Mr. Hanky from South
Park.
I never said “pool
party,” I said “POO party.”
It is not my fault and I accept no responsibility for anyone who mis-heard what
I said and just up and assumed that I meant what it sounded like I had
said. And BOY did they ask. I explained the above to everyone who
defiantly asked where the pool they had been promised was. There, of course, was the “why did you ask me
to wear a swimsuit with no pool?” to which I responded “no, I said it would be
nice to SEE you in a swimsuit, not that there is a pool here.”
Some people left without eating or drinking anything, and most disappointingly without
having taken a moment to enjoy my whimsical poop humor. Oh well, I guess I ain’t for everybody. Not even sometimes the ones that I actually
AM for.
Speaking of the
ones I am for though, some people found the misdirection and whimsy to be quite
hilarious. We hung out on the patio and
deck, eating good food and drinking good drink until everyone peaced out for
the evening. Everyone expressed
gratitude for inviting them to my home to cool out just a while longer after
our time out and about on Saturday.
Born day fun is
over now… Back to the shenanigous
dipshittery, y’all.
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