The musings of a madman...

       I’m a middle child… When that is brought up in certain company, “but you’re a twin” is a response, but I am the oldest twin in birth order out of three of us total.   I am a middle child and that is absolutely a thing whether accepted or not.      I say all that to say that I am pretty damn used to people forgetting to pay attention to me.   Not to cry into my beer over or anything, as it is 7:30am and work starts in a few minutes.      My wife has grown scared of introducing me to the uninitiated… “Why?” I hear you asking.   Because I have grown SO accustomed to people either not listening to what I am saying, or even still not taking any of it seriously when they have listened that I tend to blurt things out as if I have automatically inferred that they won’t be listening – or worse still, I will say some wild shit to test them.   Not necessarily to troll people or anything, but really just to entertain myself in this fucked up world.      I will never forget when s

True Story©…                 Wait, I need to set up a little background before I get all the way into this one. One of the things for boy children that comes from the separation from your father right as you enter adolescence is that sex ed is left to a gym teacher who is uncomfortable dealing with presenting factual information while being responded to with snickering.  The only other place to get it is from the streets, and by “streets,” I mean the older dudes in the neighborhood and peers and such. Fact: this is a SHITTY way to learn something so important and is one of the reasons that teenage pregnancies were so prevalent when I was in high school.                 Now, True Story© time. One time when I was 18 or 19, I was CONVINCED that I should write in to Penthouse Forum.  For those who don’t know or won’t Google, Penthouse Forum was a magazine with raunchier pictures than playboy and a section where people would write in to brag of their sexual conquests.  At 37, I am