Sacrifices, I'm willing... are you?

To pass that rare collection of spare minutes I have at work, I can usually be found patrolling the news on MSN/MSNBC, and one that I happened upon was about some uncontacted tribes in the Western Amazon that are beginning to go missing for various reasons…

  • Peruvian drug lords killing them in the drug trade.
  • Fishing/hunting enterprise raping their resources.
  • Contact with modernized (vaccinated) human beings, who are ALL probably silently carrying disease that they're immune to, but to which these people have no immunity.

And in response to that last one, I jokingly hit a friend of mine with a message “Lets go to South America and chill with one of those uncontacted tribes, so they can all die of a disease we probably happen to carry, but have immunity to,” to which he accurately responded “This is why going to the past will not work ever. It will kill off everyone and create a paradox.”

Cue my “lightbulb” moment.
I could go back in time, a generally healthy cat through the way of alcoholism and modern medicine normalizing the most of my bodily cells. I concede that there are things I have been vaccinated for in my lifetime, that are probably still there, but just dormant due to a strong immune system. This is why they tell you to keep sickly people away from babies.

Holy tangents, Batman… where was I?

I was going back in time. I would set my time machine to land me on the VERY DAY that the first slave driver set into motion among the greatest (as in bad, not good) atrocities known to current humanity. I show up carrying some 21st-century shit that they have no immunity to or medical planning for, I go into one of my random coughing fits, shake some hands and hop back in the old time machine.
Yes, the paradox this would cause would likely render me nonexistent before returning to 2011, but I am big enough a man to sacrifice myself to stave off the worst of the world’s human atrocities.
[Phlip note - with that in mind, I probably procreate before getting back on the WayBack Machine, so as to preserve at least that much of my bloodline]

As I sit and think on this, there are others that might not have taken place either, as a result.

  • Colonization would not have had the free forced labor, and the stronghold that came with the discovery theft of native land might not have been so effective.
  • Slave trade to and through the West Indies as a means of getting around US law wouldn’t have been so effective, thus leaving those SAME natives in control in Haiti in particular, thus staving off what became the period of French control that still damns the country.
  • No such thing as “immigration problems” when the indigenous group remains in control.
  • And most importantly… black people totally lose the use of the “race card,” which kills roughly 96.432651% of black peoples’ ammunition in debates involving race.

More than just a blogger, I am a problem solver.

I should get a Nobel for even HAVING these kind of thoughts.


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