Billy Bobb the Boss
Much has been said about
BAWSE rapper Rick Ross and his choice for a rap name, considering that he chose to use the name of someone who was at the time serving a sentence for selling crack to turn and sell made-up stories about his own life while selling crack.
There is no secret that Ross’ (the rapper, not the crack peddler) real name is William Roberts. In the scheme of things, and among the nicknaming convention, that would be shortened to “Billy Bob.”
Ever the silly-ass, I thought to myself that perhaps he would be better served to have used the “Billy Bob” moniker to rap under.
Now to why this is so silly…
The natural first-to-mind when we think of “Billy Bob” is the dude who quite probably bumped uglies with Halle Berry in Monster’s Ball. However, if you grew up in what is now the 336 areas of North Carolina back when it was still the 910 (and then 919) area of North Carolina, and are at least 29 years of age by my estimation then you remember “Billy Bobb” as this Goober motherfucker who presided over an afternoon kids show, and a late-night horror/sci-fi show on one of the local news stations.
Billy Bobb was a bit of a “local celebrity,” if you could call someone of his ilk that, often speaking or generally showing up at schools and/or kid-friendly events and being generally silly as hell, comedian Dana Lowell NEVER breaking character.
Back to the Bawse. I would sooner want to see him parlay the Billy Bobb role as his rap name and persona. I mean, we have been seeing “crack” rappers since the mid-to-late 80s and all up through the 90s and since.
However, to see him employing the silly fucking laugh and repeating “TOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!” at anything ever spoken in his direction JUST might make my month.
Furthering the nonsensical musings of my 11/11/11 afternoon (as I type this) stupor, how awesome would it be if not only did he get into the Billy Bobb character, and THEN do the same songs he has to this point, with the same lyrics and subject matter, only in the Billy Bobb voice?
You can pretty much nix any daydreams you may have had about me using Billy Bob Thornton for this one, as he has had a decently enviable life, what with the aforementioned making Halle feel good and having been married to Angelina Jolie – who I personally do not find that attractive – at one point as well. No need in serving William Roberts Jr. the rapper a life that people might want to have themselves as his stage act.
I mean, because I have daydreamed sillier shit on my lunch breaks.