The peace-bringing power of breasts (safe for work)

            Listen to some sects of society and people like me might be considered a “perve” because I happen to make a point of NOT missing a chance to appreciate a nice pair of boobies.  Well, I happen to think that fact makes me a “connoisseur,” and not a pervert.  My brother and a couple of good friends agree with that sentiment.  Well, today, I am adding “humanitarian” to my list of duties.

            Today, I present a solution to the problem that is violence throughout the nation these days, and I call it “titties for peace.”

No, stay with me, here.

Have you EVER met a (straight) man and a lot of women too who could stay on their chosen topic when he happened to encounter some “surprise” titties?  See, using that nugget of information we would be able to reasonably stop crime right at their respective sources.  Hell,  this SHOULD be wildly effective, since titties come in all sizes and shapes, and so abundant that there is literally a pair fitting to EVERY man’s tastes.
·         Angry at something?
Look at some titties!
·         Need fodder for, um… “relaxation”
That’s right, titties!
·         On your way to do something that you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing?
I bet some titties would stop you in your tracks!

Don’t get it mixed up, I am not advocating that people go out and inappropriately take advantage of titties without permission.  That is both illegal and immoral.  What I advocate is the taking advantage of legal means of taking them in, and the resulting therapeutic calming effects that they will naturally have will take it from there.  Look, but don’t touch unless invited to do so.  For those who ARE allowed to touch, the calming peace-bringing effect should be magnified.

            Any great leader worth his salt who has operated in a time and condition of general peace has done so very expressly in the presence of titties.  That is not a coincidence, it might be the first time in recorded history that correlation and causation have walked together.  Since this is true, it is understandable that peaceful leaders should not be the only one with a cache of titties to continue his peacefulness.  If the more violent of his (or anyone’s) subjects just got a peek every now and again, imagine how much better things would be.  Wars could be amicably won with minimal bloodshed if a selection of my favorite Eastern European models would just up and go streaking.  There is not a general on this PLANET that could continue his onslaught when faced with the headlights of Milena Velba, Bea Flora, Nadine Jansen, Ewa Sonnet and Dana Benn staring him in the face.
[Phlip note – Google those names on your own time and don’t do it from work]

            Titties could PROBABLY put an end to the violence in Chicago.  I don’t know what else they may have tried, but I am very much liking how this is panning out.  As Riley Freeman on The Boondocks stated with good reason that throwing a chair could START a riot, I’d bet $100 against a bucket of shit that a pair of titties could stop one cold on the spot.
Now who’s with me on this peacekeeping mission?  Titties for everyone to enjoy!


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