The musings of a madman...

     Not all of my schemes involve me trying to scare fast money out of the world around me.  Quite the contrary, actually.  Sometimes I just wish to be entertained.  Sometimes – as you have previously read in these stories – I will go to a bit of expense in making these things happen.      So one day, I decides to rent out a venue and throw a New Year’s Eve party.  The theme was a “Party Like it’s 1799 All White Party.”  I would not be bothered with offering ANY further detail as to what exactly I meant by that.  FaceBook invites, Pen & Pixel -style fliers, the whole shebang! Pre-sales of the almost-all-included tickets (food and soft drinks/water included but a cash bar for all alcohol purchases) were through the ROOF!  Sold on into the hundreds, I was in business despite no apparent attempts to actually be “in business.”      Despite my good fortune a couple weeks ahead of this, I was busy as a dime hooker on nickel buttfuck night, because I could not trust anyo

     Welcome back to Hotep Movie Moments!  This week, we introduce a new concept that we will from henceforth refer to as “Paint it Black,” wherein we lowlight the cancer that is White Privilege by taking something that is patently white and imagining what would be if that very item happened to be black.      Our subject for this exercise this week will be Mr. Thomas Jeffrey Hanks.  Look, I know that Tom has an EXTENSIVE library of movies to his credit, and we don’t intend to take up all of your week with this post, so we will focus on only three of them. Without further lining, we will get right into it… Big: In this 1988 film we find Tom as 12 year-old Josh Baskin who wishes to be “big” after being sent away from a carnival ride for being too short. First of all, being “too short” for a carnival ride at 12 is bullshit, as most of them have a lower limit of 4-feet and I was at least that by 12 and I am only 5’8” now as I am closer to 40 than I am to 35. Sor

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       Y’all remember Pogo Balls? What about now ? For those of you who smoke too much of the Devil’s lettuce to remember or too damn lazy to click a link and be reminded, they were a toy of the 80’s where a sturdy-ass rubbery ball was stuffed securely into a disc, which would serve as a board to stand upon and jump around on like a pogo stick.  As one might imagine, many hilarious injuries would ensue. As the significant other of a public school teacher, I am well aware of the phenomenon of Fidget Spinners and while I have not played with them as a toy, I have sold a few of them for profit and know what a fucking annoyance they are to teachers and the like.  I also wish I could have been the one to come up with the concept of them as a TOY and not what they were in their initially-intended iteration. Jealousy will breed either hate or action, and I don’t have the energy to hate.      Enter: Midget Spinners™! That’s right, Midget Spinners™! I went on Amazon and