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Ghetto-ass names; they're my birth control

I work in a place where I have to actually talk to people from doctors' offices. Often times, I see or hear people with names that cause me to HONESTLY question: what the fuck their parents were thinking when they saddled them with it? if said parents were even a MOMENT over the age of 16 when they named them? are fathers REALLY so pretentious as to need to name their DAUGHTERS after themselves? Enlisting the assistance of The Katie in the name of collection of the names as presented, as well as offering up a few of her own, I have compiled here a list of some of the most egregious of the names I have since come across... If you happen upon this list and find your name, don't take it personally... If you happen upon this list and you see the name of YOUR child, TAKE IT PERSONALLY and apologize to your children as soon as possible. If you've bestowed one of these names upon an as-yet unborn child, please rethink your strategy, use a different and STILL apologize to your chi...
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True Story©... Crashout Assistance

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"Bro I'm finna crash the fuck out and need you to talk me down." So we just all gas and no brakes here on this fine afternoon, huh. Me: "First of all, why the fuck you at my house at noon on a Tuesday?" Homie: "I told you, I'm about to crash out on this b--..." Me: "Crash out on WHO!? And for what?" Homie: "My wife, man... You know when I work from home, everyone in the house knows to leave me alone in the basement unless I come upstairs. I come up on a break and find a positive pregnancy test in the upstairs bathroom." Me: "Congratulations, my G." Homie: "I had a vasectomy in 2023." Me: "Valid crashout, lemme get my shoes and we'll ride out." Homie: "That's what I needed to hear."      Damn, it is Tuesday in frigid-ass fuckin January and Phillip has to go out and do Moe Phillips shit on my homie's wife without a plan. This is gonna be good. I tossed on some shoes, grabbed m...
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True Story©... Suicide is Painless

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     How the shit do these people find me? [ Phlip note : I know my email, FB, Twitter, Paypal and website handle are all the same…  it was a rhetorical question] Minding my own damn business on a seasonably warm November afternoon.  Looking busy working on a project, waiting on SOMETHING to stem the tide of a series of bad newses. I get an email… References: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] I was kind of concerned about how I could carry this one for her.  I had some questions that might help me to my decision…      Does this house have a garage? Yes      Does this guy have a car? Yes      Do you still at least hang out outside the house from time to time? Yes      Do you drink? No      Does HE drink? Yes      Would it be a far stretch for you to go out and he get drunk and you ...
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