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In the Kitchen with Phlip -- BAWLS!

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Meatballs, that is. Warning, there might be gratuitous innuendousness in this post. Every Tuesday for the past 5 (going on 6) weeks now, I have made meatballs from ground chicken/turkey sausage.  These were the ones I made two weeks ago.  Each time I have come up with a different sauce to cook them in, only once has that sauce been a standard red spaghetti sauce. Ground Chicken/turkey meatballs in a cheese sauce Cast of characters: Cream of Chicken and Cheddar Cheese soups, cheese of your choice and chicken broth Diced peppers/onions One pound of ground chicken, one pound of turkey sausage, you can use beef and pork if you eat those.  I do not And dice up some turkey bacon in your chopper (optional).  Naturally, you can use regular bacon if you eat red meat Toss in the pepper mixture... ... and some bread crumbs grate a little of that Gouda you had in the fridge and need to use (optional) Two eggs (or one egg for every pound of meat) g...
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True Story©... Holiday Conundrum Pt II - The Conclusion

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  [ Phlip note : if you weren't here last week, please start there before continuing ] Welcome back... Me: "'Fuck you mean *I* gotta fix the future of Christmas!?" Santa: "You're the one who told me to go and get these Big Dick--..." Me: "... no--..." Santa: "Dig Bick Throbbers. You talked me into going to get these things. Now they're clearly sending my elves into cardiac trauma and it is up to you to fix it." Me: "Have you considered taking away their narcotics, and maybe -- I'ono -- SOLVE the problem?" Santa: "It's too late for that now!" Me: "Dude, you said you could get through Christmas '25 and the real issue is down the road. That means you have--..." Santa: "... WE!!!" Me: "YOU have time. I work an office job and do landscaping. You're Santa fuckin Claus, the one with the magic and shit. Remember that wild ass- bag of coal you gave me that time?" Santa: ...
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True Story©... Crashout Assistance

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"Bro I'm finna crash the fuck out and need you to talk me down." So we just all gas and no brakes here on this fine afternoon, huh. Me: "First of all, why the fuck you at my house at noon on a Tuesday?" Homie: "I told you, I'm about to crash out on this b--..." Me: "Crash out on WHO!? And for what?" Homie: "My wife, man... You know when I work from home, everyone in the house knows to leave me alone in the basement unless I come upstairs. I come up on a break and find a positive pregnancy test in the upstairs bathroom." Me: "Congratulations, my G." Homie: "I had a vasectomy in 2023." Me: "Valid crashout, lemme get my shoes and we'll ride out." Homie: "That's what I needed to hear."      Damn, it is Tuesday in frigid-ass fuckin January and Phillip has to go out and do Moe Phillips shit on my homie's wife without a plan. This is gonna be good. I tossed on some shoes, grabbed m...
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