In the kitchen with Phlip -- Jambalaya (somewhat)

I will likely only be offering contributions to these on Sundays,
as that is the day that I have time at home to be in the kitchen for
any extended amount of time...

Today's contributions is jambalaya (sort of).

Growing up poor will instill in one the means of making shit happen
where another just might not be able to. Becoming a clear-thinking and
well enough off adult will make such a lesson INFINITELY applicable.
One time a few months back, I assessed what was in my fridge, threw the
dice and came up with a winner. When attempting this at home, pay
attention to WHEN I say to add things, adding the shrimp too early will
make it rubbery, adding the tomatoes and celery too early will make
them mushy.

Let us start with a tool kit...

Good ol' cast iron pan:

Big knife:

... and spoon:

... and spatula:

BIG pot (you'll need a more than gallon-sized one for this):

Cutting board:

Of course, folks, you will need some food, as well...

Celery (stock photo, lol):

(dice this up the same way you did in my pasta from before)

Italian Sausage, 2 of these (I use turkey, but if you eat pig, then use it... I don't):


(yes, I BELIEVE in getting my capsaicin in me)

Vegetble oil:

Chicken titty, 2.5 pounds boneless/skinless:
dice this BEFORE cooking (look, I know raw chicken ain't pretty)

Fajita mix (red/green peppers, yellow onions):

Diced tomatoes:


Noodles (stay tuned for a variation on the use of this one after the jump):

Small can of carrots:

Seasoning mix, just in case (tee hee):

Now let's cook...

Start by coating the bottom of the cast iron (or your punkass
whatever-else) pan with vegetable oil and sautee/caramelize the onions
and peppers, but NOT the celery, as you might have in the pasta before.
I will tell you when to add that.

Once you have done this, go ahead and put it in the big pot in wait for
everything else. Now, go ahead and put your diced chicken in the pan,
medium-hi heat (8/10), sprinkle with seasoning mix of your choosing and
tease with the spatula to keep it from sticking until cooked through,
then add to the big pot without draining:
Now you will go ahead and cut the italian sausage from the casing and brown it as you would ground meat:
Add this to the pot also without draining.

Go ahead now and put your noodles on the boil... Put the "sauce" on
medium heat, add as many spoonfuls of cayenne pepper as you can handle
and stir EVERYTHING thoroughly... When the noodles are done, you will
add the celery, shrimp and diced tomatoes to the mixture, along with 3
cups of water.


(if you're like me and your punkass sister lives next door and can't
eat shrimp, now is the time you split the pots, one containing shrimp
and one not)

The pot(s) are now on your largest eyes on the stove, set them to 2/8
heat, go to the store and get beer if they sell it on Sunday where you
live. Leave it this way for about 30-45 minutes at least, stirring
frequently. You're done and ready to serve now.

I want you to keep in mind, here that when food is "soupy" in nature,
it just doesn't translate as well into photographs, that is the nature
of the beast. I will tell you, however, that this is fucking WONDERFUL,
though I was made to shoot flames from my ears after only one forkful,
which was just to taste test, so it was just as I love it.


1 - instead of noodles, you can use rice, use 2 cups uncooked, and double the amount of water used.

2 - vegetables: THE ONLY WAY I EAT OKRA IS FRIED!!! If you can stand it in this situation, feel free to use it.

3 - corn: feel free to toss in a can of southwest-style corn (drain the
liquid out the can before doing so), ESPECIALLY if you use the rice
instead of pasta.

4 - meat: I do not eat pork, but if you do, then feel free to use pig
sausage where I used turkey. If you do not eat meat at all, then I
apologize that you've had to read this far, cause I can't do NOTHIN'
for ya mayne.

5 - the nerves in my tongue belie human sensibilities, potentially
indicating that I am not from your punkass planet, so you MIGHT want to
use the "to taste" approach to the addition of cayenne.


Unknown said…
Ummm....I know i am from Greensboro but I could swear Jambalaya has rice in it and only rice? Where did you find this recipe? It looks yummy tho...
Phlip said…
There was the "somewhat" in the title, and the "sort of" in the second paragraph.
The thing, though, is that as an idea, jambalaya is a free mix, more or less meaning you make it as you make it. That's why I included "variations" at the end.
I kinda made this one up as I went a few months back.
Kousen Tora said…
I'm actually gonna do this up on Sunday. Instead of the shells, I'm gonna do the rice and add in a few extra veggies.

I also am currently marinating the chicken tits.

So I'll let you know how it all turns out.


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