The musings of a madman...

Hollywood is here to teach us to hate our own.  We are not, under any realistic circumstances to see ourselves in a positive light in the movies coming out of that shithole.  Today, we are here to discuss the five types of Negro that they WILL allow us to see ourselves portrayed as. The Black Friend© This is the cat you normally find in buddy cop movies.  He is partnered with an alcoholic, but grizzled veteran, cop who does all the thinking and decision making.  His role as Black Friend© is to be the comic relief and come up with Sassy Black Phrases™.  You can expect to see shit he/she says to steal cheap laughs on a t-shirt at the nearest HBCU homecoming to you. . The Magic Negro™ We’ve all seen The Green Mile.  That is the most prominent Magical Negro film ever created.  But not all “magic,” as employed is necessarily metaphysical.  Remember that Eddie Murphy movie last year Mr Church ?  Of course you don’t, the film only had a domestic take of $700k and most people sto

     It seems that R. Kelly has done it again. Every time he has some music about to come out lately, he seems to find himself mired in some scandal.  Not to say he has music coming out right now, but the industry thing has been surprise albums for the last couple years.  Let's run it down real quick...  Marrying a 15 year-old, peeing on other 15 year-olds on camera, admitting to being illiterate because he never had to learn to read, lord knows what else. But this latest “scandal” suggests that he at least has kept his mind on his past and is using it to form not only his future, but to create stronger Black family units in that future. We HEARD your eyes roll at that last sentence, but we think he might be onto something here.  As suggested in a poem a couple of weeks ago , strength in numbers is the foundation for the strong Black family unit.  A strong Black man and as many Black women as that man can handle and please physically.      Robert Sylvester Kelly

     You get a budget of approximately $11 in food stamps, a liter of Hennessey and a pack of Newport 100s… What kind of movie do you make?      You don’t get to go summer blockbuster because those require a star commanding $20m or more a flick.  You don’t get to license a cutesy franchise because of your budget above.  You want people to come see your movie, and you want them to come in groups so you need a “date night movie.” Solution?  Black Romantic Comedies!      Here at Hotep Movie Moments, we have come to notice a few things about these movies and will spend a few minutes today discussing them. 1 – They always have the same people. How may different ways can Morris Chestnut fall in love with Taraji P Henson contained inside of 97 minutes of pseudo hilarity?  It is kind of like the black church plays circuit in that you KNOW what you’re going to get and who you’re going to get it from, but you are made to feel obligated to throw money at it anyway. And sp

I have found the very reason that we are not allowed to see many movies about strong Black upliftment from Hollywood. I call this my Rocky Theory, brothas and sistas. Look back at the Rocky movies… Rocky – Rocky matches up against a superior but supposedly cocky Apollo Creed and uses the Black man’s hubris against him and stays upright for the whole fight.  No winner was declared, but we all assumed Rocky to be because of how it all played out. Rocky II – Having had his name sullied by being matched by an inferior fighter, Apollo asks for a rematch and is rebuffed.  The still-cocky black man spends a whole movie making him take the fight, then LOSES the fight due to a brash obsession with knocking the white man out. Rocky III – Now having disposed of the original cocky negro, Rocky is the best thing ever invented and can move on to new targets.  This time, a NEW cocky original African Black man named Clubber Lang assaults Rocky’s precious manager causing him a heart a