The musings of a madman...

       Not to let y’all in on more than you need to know, but I been holding out on you… For every tale of a person who emailed the Moe Phillips box looking for help, I might lend a hand to about one in five. The thing when doling out assistance of the kind that normally comes requested in that email box, I am only beholden to my own opinion. If that opinion is one of judgment, or an active decision that “this one ain’t worth my time and effort” then so be it. Sometimes the “request” comes in as a statement of a problem without an actual suggestion of what outcome the sender might find satisfactory, and I ain’t no fuckin’ mind reader.      So why are we here today? Well, frankly, I got time today… Before I send these emails into the trash bin of history, I will share a couple of the funnier ones with you guys. I will present these in no particular order. This one came in about three weeks ago… “Moe, I see that you solicit for those in need of he...

       I've had a slow week, mostly… I mean, life has been busy kicking my ass, but that is for another time. I've had time to work, clean house and cut the yards I'm paid to cut, but my in-between time has been entertaining myself scrolling on YouTube and Bookface.      One source of ENDLESS entertainment on Teh Book of Faces is the local groups and the absolute fuck shit that transpires there. The other day was no different, see below... ... when I see a post like this, I go and view the person's profile before even entertaining the best part about the post -- the COMMENTS section. Once on the profile, I noticed it had recently been updated to "in a relationship" but with no mention of who with, so NOW I went back to the post and the comments.      Internet sleuths were not about to let this man eat the way he thought he would and called him out on it. Men ridiculed him for having to buy his way to a throuple, women ridiculed him ...

       When we left you , I had done a little footwork for our pal Detective Ramsbottom. I had gone into the probable scene of the alleged crime and done some reconnaissance as to the source of the illicit dingaling pills. In my “research,” I had gained some suspicion that the owner of this store or someone close to him was behind the whole shit.      What I had not noticed until I had a chance to sit down and relax, however, was that there was no UPC bar code on the back of the package. This suggests FOR SURE that this is someone’s basement/garage operation, perhaps as a “fake it til you make it” kinda deal where one goes into business under the radar until they have a proven winner and then they go legit. The problem here is that they ain’t painting houses, they are out here giving people heart attacks with unregulated wee-wee products. I made a phonecall Ramsbottom: “I thought you told me I was gonna have to do some policing?” Me: “Don’t use my...

       I would love the opportunity to say that “y’know, shit has been kinda quiet here lately,” but my life just isn’t set up for things to go that smoothly. While I would love to be able to take solace in no one ringing my phone as much as I DETEST phone conversations with anyone other than my brother, I legitimately hate unannounced pop-up visitors more than I do phone calls. I mean, I work from home and don’t get fully dressed most days so I tend to make it so most people don’t even know where I actually live whenever possible.      You know who does know where I live, whether I like it or not? Greensboro Police Department. Not because I am personally some kind of criminal – Moe Phillips is none of their fucking business – but due to a weird series of prior interactions that have been documented here in pages of True Story©…      That said, I am minding the business that ACTUALLY pays me in my bottom-front room facing my drive...

       I had told myself I wasn’t doing this shit again, really I tried… After that last time , I NEEDED not try this shit again!      My problem is that I can’t idly sit by and do nothing when pressed with a problem I can fix, especially when I can do so without necessarily getting my hands dirty. That said, I'm home trying to lay low after the last weeks’ Vegas adventures – mainly trying not to further draw the ire of Wife Person™ – minding my own damn business when I get an email to the Moe Phillips account… “Moe, I come to you with this because I am really not sure who else I could approach with this. I was recently employed at a small family restaurant where the money and tips were good enough for my lifestyle until a family member needed some financial help and put me and mine in a bit of a bind. I asked the owner if it would be possible to get some more hours to make up what my mother and I had had to lay out to help out and his response wa...

       “So where was he?” you ask… The short answer would be “away for two weeks,” but the full picture is much MUCH deeper.      Part of me wants to just up and tell you “look, I lost track of what day it was week before last and landed myself in the ER last week and got thrown off,” but where would be the fun in that? Let’s go back, way back into time to the distant time coordinates of Monday August 19… I had a doctor’s appointment that morning and, after noticing that I have a TON of unused leave time at work, decided to take the whole day off instead of just the couple of hours to cover my appointment/lab time. My visit goes fine and I swing by the lab to have my blood drawn on the way back to the house to cut my front yard. As I have made some adjustments to my mower which anyone connected to me on BookFace has seen, I double-cut the yard so it took me 30 minutes instead of 13. Still no biggie.      What happened next is t...

       At the big-ass age of 45, I have been alive for 11 rounds of the summer Olympics. Two of the games have been held in the United States thus far, 1984 and 1996. I will not pretend to REMEMBER the ‘84 games, but had been about as attentive as one can be to the games since 1988 and on. I can say with absolute certainty that the last-week-concluded games seemed to gather the most interest and discussion of any in history. It could be that NBC/Peacock had round-the-clock coverage of the games, it could be that America’s Uncle Snoop Dogg seemed to have devised a means of being EVERYWHERE in Paris at the same damned time, or it could be the effective building of storylines across sporting disciplines gathering our collective interests.      LA is getting the games back in 2028 and will have big shoes to fill, given the can’t-look-away nature that the Paris games gave us. There is generally about a 2-full-weeks break between the regular Olympiad ...

  It has been a wild couple of weeks in America… President Biden, perhaps based on the fallout from how he handled the debate and frankly physical age, decided he would pass the mantle in the race for the presidency this cycle. What a VERY few people realize, though, is that Kamala was not his first choice to take the torch and run with it.  Believe it or not, I was!  Sunday before last, I am chillin on my couch when my phone rings… Me: “Hello?” Joe: “Phillip?  It’s Joe.” Me: “This shit ain’t funny, my granddaddy died in 1980.” Joe: “Joe Biden…” Me: “Oh, that makes more sense–… wait, what!?” Joe: “Yes, as in president Joe Biden.” Me: “Whatever the FBI guy watching me has told you–…” Joe: “… nevermind that, that’s not why I’m calling.” Me: “So what’s up?” Joe: “As you may well know, I have spent basically two-thirds of my life in public service and elected office.” Me: “Mhmm…” Joe: “And, frankly, it is time for me to bow out.” Me: “I’ve been reading that and do no...