True Story©... The M-O-Equalizer III
I had told myself I wasn’t doing this shit again, really I tried…
After that last time, I NEEDED not try this shit again!
My problem is that I can’t idly sit by and do nothing when pressed with a problem I can fix, especially when I can do so without necessarily getting my hands dirty. That said, I'm home trying to lay low after the last weeks’ Vegas adventures – mainly trying not to further draw the ire of Wife Person™ – minding my own damn business when I get an email to the Moe Phillips account…
“Moe,
I come to you with this because I am really not sure who else I could approach with this. I was recently employed at a small family restaurant where the money and tips were good enough for my lifestyle until a family member needed some financial help and put me and mine in a bit of a bind. I asked the owner if it would be possible to get some more hours to make up what my mother and I had had to lay out to help out and his response was to try and have sex with me. When I rebuffed his advances, he cut my hours and began treating me VERY badly. After the third time yelling at me in front of a customer over not bussing a table quickly enough, I asked him about it and mentioned an EEOC complaint. In response, he offered to mention that he knew that I had not been declaring all of my tips when considering my taxes.
Rather than stay in this hostile environment, I just quit and have been living off a VERY small savings until I find something better. What I wanted to know is if there is something that could be done to keep him from doing this to anyone else?”
Sheeeeeeit… I have daughters (and as of one week ago, a grandlittle 😍), I ain’t about to sit by and let some shit like this even ALMOST slide.
I pulled out the current Moe burner phone, left my personal phone in the house and hit the streets. I went over to the old neighborhood and pulled up on a few old friends I know are willing to flirt heavily in the arts of the less-than-legal acquisition of capital. Even when the job isn’t paying, these boys are like brothers who will get their hands dirty to keep mine clean. More on that in a few.
I called the restaurant and asked to speak with the general manager…
Owner: “Hi, I understand you were asking to speak with the general manager? I am the owner and manager here, how can we help you?”
Me: “Hi, my name is Maurice and I am working a community outreach kinda thing here.”
Owner: “Mmhmm…”
Me: “And your restaurant is in a good space and has a decently quick turnover as far as getting the food out the kitchen.”
Owner: “We pride ourselves on that.”
Me: “So I figured you and I could help one another.”
Owner: “How so?”
Me: “Well let me ask, about how much do you sell in a full day, a GOOD day?”
Owner: “Well I-I don’t know that I should be discussing–…”
Me: “Relax. Let me get to it, I want to buy you out for a day and you feed everyone who walks in the door free of charge to them, regardless of who it is until you sell out.”
Owner: “Oh, I see now.”
Me: “So to get an idea of how much it would cost to–… wait. Naturally, this would give you HUGE publicity in the community even when you’re not having free food days.”
Owner: “Got it.”
Me: “So what’s the number?”
I hear papers rustling in his hands.
Owner: “About twenty-five hundred a day on average.”
Me: “So if I send someone over with that much in cash, you’re feeding the community that day?”
Owner: “We can do that.”
Me: “All comers, right? Don’t try to close up shop early and make off with the money.”
Owner: “Yes, but why are you doing this?”
Me: “My organization likes to quietly do things like this for the community. You don’t even need to say where it came from, this is ‘business as usual’ for you.”
Owner: “You got it.”
Me: “Thanks.”
True to his word, he stayed open and WEATHERED that storm, feeding everyone that came in and even managed to stay open the entire day without running out of food.
I watched and waited for the waitstaff and cooks to leave, watching and waiting patiently. I saw the office light in the rear of the restaurant go out and flashed my headlights to the goons I had waiting across the street, who stormed RIGHT up to the manager as he got to the car with the day’s cash to attempt to take to the bank. They worked him over like the creeper he was and made off into the darkness. They met me back at the neighborhood and returned my 2500 and kept whatever else was in the bag for themselves.
One would THINK that getting tuned up by a couple of inner city youths for your money would be enough punishment for what this man had done to this girl, but it gets better.
First off, he had been skimping on the books to avoid the paperwork and that was HOW he had made it so easy for his employees to get around reporting their tips. Next, he had used the publicity of the day to dig into subsequent days’ stock to continue feeding people even after selling out for the day, now he needs to re-shop to be able to keep product on hand to cook and sell. Then, being an absolute cheap-ass, he had the barest-ass minimum security system and hadn’t thought to park where a camera would be able to see him leaving with the cash. Not that he felt he could call the police anyway, since he was running his operation at the bleeding edge of what was legally acceptable and didn’t want the attention.
All of these things added up to the perfect storm to be explained in my “client’s” followup email…
“Moe,
I don’t know if I should be thanking you or who, but that jerk got what was coming to him. He was apparently set up and robbed last night. One of my old co-workers got to the restaurant this morning and a sign was on the door that the place would be closed until further notice. He didn’t even call or text anyone! He had apparently been running his business so shitty that the robbery caused him to have to close up the place. Lucky for my friend and now myself, the competing diner down the street has offered to bring us all on, so now not only has this jerk been served the karma he deserves, but we all came out of this whole and able to feed our families!”
Time will tell
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