No thanks, I will take my stereotypes straight up

As most of both of you recall, about 6 or 7 weeks ago, Oprah Winfrey sponsored a promotion where KFC would be giving away 2 pieces of their then-new Grilled Chicken and 2 individual sides for a limited time for 2 weeks until the middle of May, with the exception of one day...
Well, I will not even go into the hassle that came with the actual PRINTING of the coupon, nor will I go any further in on how the pieces given were "manager's choice," which means you would get the tiniest "we can't sell that" piece of chicken that managed to stay under the red lights before discard or being eaten by one of the employees. I WILL, however, spend a moment on what utter bullshit it bestowed on KFC nationwide, in the name of snarled lines and lost sales for people standing in line to be declined their free chicken.
Hell, one night early in the promotion, I wanted Chinese takeout from a place next door to a KFC and had to park at a carwash 2 doors down from the Chinese place because of the fucking traffic. I will quote one of my heroes, Paul Mooney, when I say "FOR A PIECE OF FUCKING CHICKEN?!!?"
Look, my birthday is next Wednesday... The promotions for free shit are PILING into my email now. Red Robin just sent me a coupon for a free "burger" (the "" because they name every sammich on the menu a "burger") this morning, with the stipulation being that I use it within one week of my actual day. Later in the week, I will likely get something from Borders, Finish Line and a couple other places via email, then I will receive snail mail from The Sunglass Hut and Footaction, even though I have not given either of them my new addresses in over 10 years. That is customer damned service, not making someone jump through flaming hoops for a questionable piece of chicken.

Fuck that...
Personally, I was not willing to wait in line for an hour for a chintzy-assed little piece of chicken. Yes, people, the grilled chicken, as observed SINCE this fiasco in KFC, pieces are smaller than the regular gargantuan fried ones.

SINCE the fiasco, I was just not able to rationalize buying the shit for myself, even though I think I have been to KFC 2, maybe 3, times since...
5 days ago (yeah, I know - five fucking days and I am just blogging about it now?) Jamal sent me an email as I was on my way home from the gym that KFC cooks their "grilled" chicken -- which is ACTUALLY baked -- with beef powder and rendered beef fat. He was aware that I had not yet eaten any of it and stepped in with knowledge that I don't eat cow products. When I got home and on the computer, he directed me to, apparently from the great folks at El Pollo Loco who have grilled chicken of their own without beef leavings appended. They explain how KFC, even evidenced on KFC's own site, cops to this in the ingredients list on their own website.
Now I am glad I DIDN'T rush out and stand in line for free chicken, and that I had not bothered desiring it in the time in between.

I will take my stereotypes without all the parlor tricks - give me my chicken fried hard, with either grape drank, red kool aid or cheap beer next to it. Oh, and I work for a living, so I will either pay for it or cook it my damned self - please hold the beefiness, thanks.


Witches Brew said…
That sizzling grill just made me hongry!

Popular posts from this blog

March 17 -- Streetsweepers