My Every-October Titties Post
A repost of mammarial proportions
...
(yes, I know that
"mammarial" is not a word, or was not until now)
I'd originally
posted this blog in October 2007, and as the date draws near again my mind has
not changed one little bit, nor has the importance of the subject at hand, so
here goes...
Do you know what
this week is?
According to NYC
Cancer Prevention, the 3rd Friday in every October is "National
Mammography Day."
I know what you're
thinking, "But Phillip, you don't have titties," and the jokes of my
man-boobs are damn near moot, as they are just about gone now. I DO have a
sense of humor about myself and I know that I am still
not a small person by any stretch of the imagination, but I digress...
I have taken on
the vigil to make sure that no woman misses out on their mammogram this coming
Friday. I work for a company in the healthcare industry, so I am 100% sure and
clear of the shortcomings in availability and affordability of healthcare --
damn that Obamacare farce...
What I am willing
to do to help out and "do something" for those who are lacking in
coverage is to have all women, local or not, so long as transportation can be
provided (and the city bus has stops one block either direction from my house),
come over to the house and I will perform the mammogram myself.
One may stop to
think for a moment, and may then ask "well what the fuck are your
credentials?" And I will answer:
1) I am a man, a
flaming heterosexual man at that.
2) I loves me some
boobies, so much to the point that I would hate to see ANY lost due to any
level of lack of preventive diagnosis.
3) I have the
internet in my home, my job, both have high-speed connections with access to
both Google and Wikipedia, both of which can, have and will become the rabbit
hole from which ANYTHING in the world can be learned and properly applied, be
they useful and/or legal or not.
4) Did I mention
that I am a heterosexual man who loves boobies and would hate to see anyone
ever lose theirs?
Yes, I know this
seems like the plight of a man who is simply looking to feel up a whole lot of
titties for some cheap personal thrill, but I assure that to be furthest from
the God's honest truth. I mean, I could put up pictures of all that I love
about them and I would make you want to join in the vigil and make sure that
everyone gets their mammogram, but that would border crass and unnecessary,
since we ALL know what breasts look like and, in such, what we love about them.
Everyone who is
insured, please go out on Friday and get checked out. Everyone who is not (and
is not related to me or close friend of family, because that would be WEIRD)
please give me a ring, I will be waking up at 6:40am and preparing for work,
but will be back home at about 5:25pm... Most of you already have the phone
number, and those of you who do not know how to get it.
My wife will have to be in the house to make sure that nothing
crazy takes place, of course. Worry not,
though, she is aware that I have been broadcasting this PSA since 3 years before
I even met her.
In all
seriousness; ladies, take care of yourselves, preserve your two of the most
gorgeous of God's creations.
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