The musings of a madman...

(yes, it is real)      For all of my Hotep Carryings on for the last few months, I still find myself in a moment looking waaay more into what I will write about than one should spend on things they really only intend to make continuous light of and not ever actually take seriously.      So this week, I was going to key on the back to school thing and do “Back to Hotep School,” and my Google search ALMOST led me to go in on an alleged (but unproven-to-be) “Doctor” whose name I will not mention here until I located a website for an ACTUAL Hotep school. [ Phlip note : I hope y'all didn't think I was JOKING when I said I work really hard at behaving this ignorantly] And this was the mindfuck… Actually, really a real legitimate Hotep school, as in by name and all.  Their website was dodgy (or perhaps just vague, given my attention span) with information as to what they were about.  I poked around for several minutes looking for pictures, descriptions and such

                 …  or more accurately, “drowned out of the news.” Let’s have a look at how “they” have shut us out of our just due media coverage just this week alone. Let’s look at the first and most prominent ongoing issue of interest.  Colin Kaepernick is still unsigned despite half of the NFL preparing to start bums, just to prove a point. Members of the media were on board, it simply didn’t make sense that this man was not on someone’s roster as a #2 waiting for his chance to challenge for #1.      It was taking up too much damned attention. So someone got the word to a couple of white players to show some “solidarity” with the brown ones who continued his fight.  All of a sudden we have the White Saviors we needed to tell us we were not in this alone. Nope™ What we had was a distraction.  With the White Savior, we had a distraction from the uncomfortable truths that Brother Kaepernick was trying to bring attention to and to those brave white players willin

     I used to think it was only Hollywood that didn’t love us.  I am coming to find out that apparently video games are much the same.  Want some more of the Black Friend© Pet Negro™ Happyslave Junction ?  Fire up your game console and wait for the rare black character to come across the screen.      We decided to come up with our own community-based solution to the problem. Hotep…  The Video Game . I lack in the skills necessary to make this myself, so I am yet shopping the idea around to various game houses.  I tried selling to the guys who made me wait 94 months for the painfully average Mighty No 9 , but they still won’t return my messages.  I know they need the money! I figured I would start with 5 levels and each would end with a “boss battle” of some sort. Level One – “Break The Chains” :      In this level, you enter on the ground floor.  We place you in situations that place your Wokeness® into question and must choose the higher path.  For the sake

Dad: “Alright, baby…  It’s time for bed.  Brush your teeth and come on so I can tuck you in.” Daughter: “But daddy…” Dad: “No, no buts.  I gotta get you to school and your mothers to work in the morning.” Daughter: “I just wanted you to tell me a bedtime story.” Dad: “Oh…  Okay.  You all tucked in?” Daughter: “Yeah.” Dad: “Well…  Once upon a time, there was a revolutionary man who knew that there was nothing to be gained in standing around in this world waiting for anyone to do for you what you wouldn’t – or as it were – couldn’t do for yourself. Rather than begging for it from people who really had nothing invested emotionally in his success, he started a non-profit.  With it, he would open a school for young black boys and teach them to become standup black men.  What would happen from there would allow these brothers to grow to become strong black leaders who themselves would teach younger brothers after them to grow up to do the same and finally break t

Black on Black crime got brothers serving back-to-back time Nothing rhymes with recidivism and we can't go back in time Dirty water in Flint, yellow #5, MSG and foods laced with swine Signs sent that the fellows in charge just don’t want us alive Police shootings are cause for our brothers riots and looting They put us in cages to hide us from our rooting “They” keep strong Black fathers away from their Black babies ‘Cause they know single mothers can’t make kings, not even maybe Molly and Percocet and xannies, that’s what they let our music feed us Then right back to the War on Drugs, their prison labor needs us Take back our cities; we need a community and a hand on our families Too many in one place is a violent problem, that’s their fallacy Kaepernick, OJ, Jay-Z and Obamacare are just distractions STAY WOKE, my brothers and look deep at what’s happening Amerikkka is not here for us, never was all along Africa is the mother con

Hollywood is here to teach us to hate our own.  We are not, under any realistic circumstances to see ourselves in a positive light in the movies coming out of that shithole.  Today, we are here to discuss the five types of Negro that they WILL allow us to see ourselves portrayed as. The Black Friend© This is the cat you normally find in buddy cop movies.  He is partnered with an alcoholic, but grizzled veteran, cop who does all the thinking and decision making.  His role as Black Friend© is to be the comic relief and come up with Sassy Black Phrases™.  You can expect to see shit he/she says to steal cheap laughs on a t-shirt at the nearest HBCU homecoming to you. . The Magic Negro™ We’ve all seen The Green Mile.  That is the most prominent Magical Negro film ever created.  But not all “magic,” as employed is necessarily metaphysical.  Remember that Eddie Murphy movie last year Mr Church ?  Of course you don’t, the film only had a domestic take of $700k and most people sto

     It seems that R. Kelly has done it again. Every time he has some music about to come out lately, he seems to find himself mired in some scandal.  Not to say he has music coming out right now, but the industry thing has been surprise albums for the last couple years.  Let's run it down real quick...  Marrying a 15 year-old, peeing on other 15 year-olds on camera, admitting to being illiterate because he never had to learn to read, lord knows what else. But this latest “scandal” suggests that he at least has kept his mind on his past and is using it to form not only his future, but to create stronger Black family units in that future. We HEARD your eyes roll at that last sentence, but we think he might be onto something here.  As suggested in a poem a couple of weeks ago , strength in numbers is the foundation for the strong Black family unit.  A strong Black man and as many Black women as that man can handle and please physically.      Robert Sylvester Kelly

     You get a budget of approximately $11 in food stamps, a liter of Hennessey and a pack of Newport 100s… What kind of movie do you make?      You don’t get to go summer blockbuster because those require a star commanding $20m or more a flick.  You don’t get to license a cutesy franchise because of your budget above.  You want people to come see your movie, and you want them to come in groups so you need a “date night movie.” Solution?  Black Romantic Comedies!      Here at Hotep Movie Moments, we have come to notice a few things about these movies and will spend a few minutes today discussing them. 1 – They always have the same people. How may different ways can Morris Chestnut fall in love with Taraji P Henson contained inside of 97 minutes of pseudo hilarity?  It is kind of like the black church plays circuit in that you KNOW what you’re going to get and who you’re going to get it from, but you are made to feel obligated to throw money at it anyway. And sp

You and me girl, we’ll be the next big thing. Plus her and her too, you can all be my queens. You cook, she cleans and the other can twerk. I’ll wait home patiently for you all to get home from work. Loyal sex is safe sex, you’re my only lovers. With only us four, we won’t need these rubbers. Join in this royalty and give me your loyalty. One king and three queens, you all can come spoil me. One household, three incomes, legacy is gold. We’ve all tried and failed with others and that shit just got old. Outsiders will hate our life, they’ll just never get it. The beautiful black family, they don’t want to be with it. When it comes time for the kids, our beautiful brown babies. I want them all at once, no ifs ands or maybes. I cannot legally marry you and give you all three rings. Well baby we ain’t Mormon and the laws are a thing. Besides who wants to take it there?  Lawyers and papers and such. And then comes the government and that’s jus

(If only I had known then what I know now)      Sometimes I am inspired…  Sometimes I draw on memories of times that are now behind me.  Sometimes I let other people’s experiences teach me.  Sometimes I know full well what has happened to people resultant of their behaviors and still behave ignorantly just the same. So one day I gets it in my head that I have never actually been with a hotep chick.  If you don’t know what a hotep is, I strongly suggest   Googling the term and coming back. [ Note: UrbanDictionary for all the laughs] Welcome back. Now, for the sake of conversation, we are being very specific in our definition of “been with,” applying it to mean “made sex with.”  I joined a couple of FB groups to do some insider research and get my foot in the door.  I did all of the “stay woke” I could muster, dropping the BEST lines I could come up with to ingratiate myself.  All the red black and green and "stay woke" bullshit I could cook up to make me more i

I have found the very reason that we are not allowed to see many movies about strong Black upliftment from Hollywood. I call this my Rocky Theory, brothas and sistas. Look back at the Rocky movies… Rocky – Rocky matches up against a superior but supposedly cocky Apollo Creed and uses the Black man’s hubris against him and stays upright for the whole fight.  No winner was declared, but we all assumed Rocky to be because of how it all played out. Rocky II – Having had his name sullied by being matched by an inferior fighter, Apollo asks for a rematch and is rebuffed.  The still-cocky black man spends a whole movie making him take the fight, then LOSES the fight due to a brash obsession with knocking the white man out. Rocky III – Now having disposed of the original cocky negro, Rocky is the best thing ever invented and can move on to new targets.  This time, a NEW cocky original African Black man named Clubber Lang assaults Rocky’s precious manager causing him a heart a