True Story©… 16 Days
As previously discussed, I voted for the 23th time on October 17st… I knew when I LAST voted that I would be voting for someone I am not particularly a fan of. I cannot rightfully bitch about the goings on of things that could potentially swayed by voting, so I strapped on my Nike Airs and did it.
Seventeen days after I
voted early was official election day.
It would be four days after THAT when we would have an actual projected
“Projected,” the operative word in that sentence is “projected.” What we are used to on election night every major election year is the winner projected by the Associated Press aggregated from the districts reporting their results, with a declaration made as soon as simple mathematics leaves it that the leader cannot be caught. It has been that way since the advent of long distance telephony and has been more efficient since the ubiquity of the interwebs.
Why, then, in the dry fuck are we still sixteen days out from the election and twelve days from knowing who won the shit (though admittedly twelve days still from that victory being official per what we learned in middle school civics) but still fully ensconced in the most major temper tantrum this nation has ever seen?
Privately (and maybe on Twitter), I have made my opinion known that I really believe that President Biden won’t run for a second term if he even finishes the first one. I have preemptively written off this current still-to-be-unnamed-on-my-website president as to be physically and mentally unfit to run again in 2024, if he even lives that long himself.
What am I getting after,
I have spent some time this week on the Federal Elections Commission website seeing just what I need to do to run for president in 2024 myself.
I am well aware that alcohol loves the taste of me and I am drunk about three weekend days a month. I cuss a lot, even around children. Silence and dissociation are frequent means of dealing with my crippling distaste for human beings. I have learned since 2016 that the tenets of decency, or at least the appearance of the tenets of decency knowing what we know about such assholes who have held the presidency (I’m talking about YOU, Thomas Jefferson, Warren Harding and Grover Cleveland), my misgivings are far from disqualifying.
If you clicked that link
above – and I know most of you did not – you saw that the FEC wants five stacks
and for one to have an organization ready to roll to even FILE for candidacy.
Not to let you in on more than you need to know about me but I work for a living and I pay a car note and mortgage, plus all applicable insurances for someone who pays those items. I don’t happen to have five stacks falling out of my ass for such a thing.
I still want to run though…
So this is my preliminary campaign announcement.
I will need to make an official announcement by 2023ish for a ’24 run at the office. I figure I can use the three-ish years between now and then to scare up a spare five stacks and that isn’t likely too difficult all things considered.
I have tried random-ass get
rich quick schemes and documented them here on these pages and each and every
single time I have attempted. I am
thinking that this time I could do something to up my Q score and visibility,
and if I DON’T win the presidency then the least I can do is gain enough
attention to pay a few bills when it is all over. At the end of it all, what is the worst that
You know what… Strike that question from the record. We have spent four years, and now sixteen days learning the answer to JUST that question and 2020 has taught us nothing if not to ask that question.
If nothing, the last 16
days has taught us just how fucked up the system is and it seems to me that I
am the dude to help change it.
I have no past in politics, no “in” and people barely fucking like me as it is, not even my own family sometimes. I’m broke already so it ain’t like anyone could gain anything from me as a sycophant in the near-term, so I would be about as close to an “honest” politician as one could expect. I would literally be the “people” the government was supposed to be of and by, before career politicians became a thing when they started paying themselves and stopped allowing gun duels at dawn in Weehawken. It seems that I will not need more than a public school rudimentary understanding of the constitution and how shit actually works in Washington, and I am pretty confident that I know more than at least that.
Now we’re up to the task of
If you support me for president, then feel free to kick in on it  . We have a couple of years to establish an exploratory committee, build a coalition (I already basically have this part hammered out) and establish an LLC. In the meantime, you can help by sharing this post all over your social media.
It is almost as if government is ASKING to be run like a shady-fuck business, but if that is what it will take to be allowed to play the game then fuck it let’s play!