True Story©… 16 Days
As previously discussed, I voted for the 23th time on
October 17st… I knew when I
LAST voted that I would be voting for someone I am not particularly a fan
of. I cannot rightfully bitch about the
goings on of things that could potentially swayed by voting, so I strapped on
my Nike Airs and did it.
Seventeen days after I
voted early was official election day.
It would be four days after THAT when we would have an actual projected
winner.
“Projected,” the operative word in that sentence is “projected.” What we are used to on election night every
major election year is the winner projected by the Associated Press aggregated
from the districts reporting their results, with a declaration made as soon as
simple mathematics leaves it that the leader cannot be caught. It has been that way since the advent of long
distance telephony and has been more efficient since the ubiquity of the
interwebs.
Why, then, in the dry fuck
are we still sixteen days out from the election and twelve days from knowing
who won the shit (though admittedly
twelve days still from that victory being official per what we learned in
middle school civics) but still fully ensconced in the most major temper
tantrum this nation has ever seen?
Never mind.
Privately (and maybe on
Twitter), I have made my opinion known that I really believe that President
Biden won’t run for a second term if he even finishes the first one. I have preemptively written off this current
still-to-be-unnamed-on-my-website president as to be physically and mentally
unfit to run again in 2024, if he even lives that long himself.
What am I getting after,
here?
I have spent some time this week on the Federal Elections Commission website
seeing just what I need to do to run for president in 2024 myself.
Look…
I am well aware that alcohol loves the taste of me and I am drunk about three
weekend days a month. I cuss a lot, even
around children. Silence and dissociation
are frequent means of dealing with my crippling distaste for human beings. I have learned since 2016 that the tenets of
decency, or at least the appearance
of the tenets of decency knowing what we know about such assholes who have held
the presidency (I’m talking about YOU, Thomas
Jefferson, Warren Harding and Grover Cleveland), my misgivings are far from
disqualifying.
If you clicked that link
above – and I know most of you did not – you saw that the FEC wants five stacks
and for one to have an organization ready to roll to even FILE for candidacy.
Not to let you in on more than you need to know about me but I work for a
living and I pay a car note and mortgage, plus all applicable insurances for someone
who pays those items. I don’t happen to
have five stacks falling out of my ass for such a thing.
I still want to run though…
So this is my preliminary campaign announcement.
I will need to make an official announcement by 2023ish for a ’24 run at the
office. I figure I can use the three-ish
years between now and then to scare up a spare five stacks and that isn’t
likely too difficult all things considered.
I have tried random-ass get
rich quick schemes and documented them here on these pages and each and every
single time I have attempted. I am
thinking that this time I could do something to up my Q score and visibility,
and if I DON’T win the presidency then the least I can do is gain enough
attention to pay a few bills when it is all over. At the end of it all, what is the worst that
could happen?
You know what… Strike that question from
the record. We have spent four years,
and now sixteen days learning the answer to JUST that question and 2020 has
taught us nothing if not to ask that question.
If nothing, the last 16
days has taught us just how fucked up the system is and it seems to me that I
am the dude to help change it.
I have no past in politics, no “in” and people barely fucking like me as it is,
not even my own family sometimes. I’m
broke already so it ain’t like anyone could gain anything from me as a
sycophant in the near-term, so I would be about as close to an “honest” politician
as one could expect. I would literally be
the “people” the government was supposed to be of and by, before career
politicians became a thing when they started paying themselves and stopped
allowing gun duels at dawn in Weehawken. It seems that I will not need more than a public school rudimentary understanding of the constitution and how shit actually works in Washington, and I am pretty confident that I know more than at least that.
Now we’re up to the task of
that $5k…
If you support me for president, then feel free to kick in on it [1] [2]. We have a couple of years to establish an
exploratory committee, build a coalition (I already basically have this
part hammered out) and establish an LLC. In the meantime, you can help by sharing this post all over your social media.
It is almost as if government is ASKING to be run like a shady-fuck business,
but if that is what it will take to be allowed to play the game then
fuck it let’s play!
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