The musings of a madman...

1,162 Days

     I don’t forget shit… Let me rephrase that, I do forget a great many things, but I don’t forget things that matter a great deal to me.      In August, I told y’all about a job I had taken on helping a dude finally decide whether or not he should go through with marrying his girlfriend.  The work in said story was foiled by one of my mans named Marlon who basically, figuratively and literally fucked my money. [ Link , catch up and come back, you will need it if you do not remember]      Anyway, I am not as mad at Marl as I probably should be for how it went down because – as he so succinctly put it – her ass was absolutely stunning.  Besides, we been friends since middle school and I guess I should have known that he would probably fuck the girl first chance he got. Anyway…      Three weeks ago, Marlon calls me with a quandary… Marlon: “Phlip!” Me: “Whatup Marls?” Marlon: “Shit man…  You good?” Me: “All things considered, still mad about that check

1,163 Days

     …  and it couldn’t be happening to a better group of people. We’ve reached a juncture where Karma is showing up to the door and is fully prepared to collect her dues.  The motion picture industry has never been a friend of brown people and has actively sought to use its pull to keep brown people under its thumb.  Look no further than our Hotep Hollywood label for a running count of their fuckery.      I don’t think I need to chronicle every name that has been embroiled in a scandal surrounding things ranging from unwanted sexual advances through more egregious sexual harassment all the way up to and including – sometimes at the same time (!!!) – sexual assault and pedophilia.      Well the chickens are coming to roost.  You can’t do EVERYONE wrong all the time and expect that shit to just get swept under the rug.  Not terribly dissimilar to what has happened to the most of professional sports wherein brown people are seeing themselves better represented in respo

1,164 Days

     Tupac quotes notwithstanding, this recipe came from a straight-up “damn, I miss […]” place. Substituting vegetable items in the place of starches like rice and potatoes is all cool and all until you make something very nearly DEMANDING that item.      Enter: riced cauliflower.  You can make it yourself with a fresh cauliflower and a coarse grater or you can buy it at your local grocer frozen for a premium on convenience.  If you have an Aldi where you live, which pretty much most of us do these days, BUY IT THERE for half the price of the big stores.  No, it is not rice, but it fills the spot like we needed it to.      Enough of the introductions, let’s get down to fooding. For this otherwise pretty easy dish, you will need: 1 cup each, onion/pepper mix and mushrooms (it's under there, trust me) 1 bag riced cauliflower 1 bag, frozen spinach 1 small package of boneless skinless chicken, diced and cooked 1 bag, cheese of your choosing OH, and... 1 cup, he

1,165 Days

                Have you ever considered that shopping doesn’t HAVE to cost you the farm? There are many means and methods through which to pay yourself back for spending money you were going to spend anyway.                 If you’re like me, you’re mildly antisocial and have no interest in setting foot in a mall, toy store or Wal Mart during the holiday rush and will instead do the lion’s share of your shopping from the comfort of your own home.  The beauty of not having to know anything about crowd control or deal with the intricacies of actually putting on clothes being one thing, the other is that there are tools in place to make this even MORE lucrative for you.                 As eBay is no longer the spot for soccer moms to clean out their attics and cash in on people willing to pay top dollar for obscure goods, retailers have come to use it as a marketplace not terribly dissimilar to Amazon.  eBay has a rewards program called “eBay Bucks” where they keep a run

1,166 Days

(I'm the one in the diaper with the beard) When he worked third shift, he would get home from work right about the time we’d be waking up.  We were often in the house – even outside of the few months we lived there – so we were there when he came in on Saturday morning.  We’d wake up and take us to this tiny greasy-spoon diner around the corner.  They always knew what he wanted before he asked. The place closed sometime before I was old enough to take HIM to breakfast there.  I hate I never had the chance. It is a fish place now, but I still have warm flashbacks every time I am in the building. Often in my school years, especially in 4 th and 5 th grades, we would be in class about to go to lunch.  “Phillip, your granddad is here.”  He would sit and eat with us and our friends and generally be the coolest old man in the building.  Furthermore, he would bring us all happy meals.  Never once do I recall TELLING him how many people I normally sat with at lunch, I am guess

1,167 Days

1,168 Days

Must have been a slow news week for the president.  Well, there is the very real reality of a wholly avoidable church shooting that totally happened on his watch, the issue of an electorate that is rebelling against him as evidenced in the outcomes of many off-year elections around the country and the fact that this tax plan is very obviously an expensive “fuck you” to most Americans. So, he refrained from talking about most of that in the news this week.  I checked the back-channel Twitter to see what he and his ghost writers were cooking up this week and it appears that they were pretty silent on the issues this week too.  A bunch of weird sexual double entendres, not much more of substance… Banal sex… Banal. Fucking. Sex?!!?      I would be inclined to think this set was pretty soft overall, but those two words may have saved the entire species.

1,169 Days

     As you can see, this Tweet was from two months ago.  I waited patiently to see if anyone could provide me the answers I could then use to form my opinion. Sadly, they apparently all thought I was just here to ridicule them so no one bothered responding.      Not terribly dissimilar to someone who has been sucked into and winning an online debate, I was left to have to do my own research. Here’s what I found…      Not only is NASA lying to us about the real shape of Earth, they are fabricating CGI images of EVERY other celestial body in order to continue to sell the ruse.  What I found on my quest is that these posts are long on ALL CAPS RANTS and quite short on proof of the things contained in said rants.      My belief that Earth is flat, then will require a smattering of faith some twisting of the Bible’s wording, and successfully cocooning myself around people who also believe that the world is flat.  The model that most interested me

1,170 Days America...  One year ago today, YOU FUCKED UP!

("one of these things, is not like the other things") And yes, “White Savior” is a thing.  Not that it should be a thing but when has that ever put the proper brakes on such foolywang.  Click here and check up on it sometime. Done reading?  Welcome back! [ Phlip note : pun TOTALLY intended]      Welcome Back, Kotter was a sitcom that aired from 1975-1979 and in various forms of syndication for those like myself born in 1979 or after.  In it, we have a wise-ass teacher returning to his Alma Mater to take on the task of whipping a remedial class into shape.  Some good ol’ Stand and Deliver -type shit, right? Wait…  Stand and Deliver came out in 88, strike that from the record.  Anyway, we have failed baseball player and mediocre comedian Gabe Kaplan in his showrunner and acting debut, revising the history of his apparent real life, except this time he gets to come in and help The Sweathogs with comedy and hilarity.      Still pretty safe, no? WRONG!!!

1,171 Days

     First, she beat me up and told me “you got the blog tonight” before leaving the house for work. Don’t tell anyone I said that.      In the fridge, there was a couple of weird little chicken things Rock Cornish Hens, plenty of frozen veggies and a lot of imagination.  I spent a day looking into how I could do this and found this beautiful idea to stuff them with rice and veggies. But we ain’t using rice, because we ain’t living like that.      You will need: 2 – no, one…  more on that later – Cornish Hens 1 cup riced cauliflower 1 cup diced onion/mirepoix – she beat me again in protest of the frozen one 1 cup frozen spinach or collard greens Clean the hens, pat them dry with a paper towel and rub them down with olive oil: Season them up and set them aside in the fridge while you work on the stuffing.  Stuffing is as simple as sautéing the vegetables in butter: While sautéing, season with a teaspoon sage – to give a Thanksgiving’y