Why the fuck is this news?

Dijon Derangement Syndrome: Conservative media attack Obama for burger order

(yes, that is a link)

President Obama goes and orders hamburger...
Apparently, the man knows dick about ordering a burger at a counter, because he asks for it "medium well," but a few years at Harvard and as a Senator will learn that habit out of you, not knocking him.
Here's the rap, though...
These motherfuckers are taking him to task because he requested that he didn't get ketchup on it, but instead requested spicy mustard? Because of this, everyone on the anti-Obama bandwagon now calls him everything from unamerican to uppity, basically anything but a child of God BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK HE WANTS ON A HAMBURGER?!!?

I know now that I will be in deep shit when I become president (hah, as if), seeing as how I...
  1. Don't eat beef, so would not be eating a "hamburger," the conversation would be on a turkey -- or maybe even salmon -- burger.
  2. Given how and what I do eat, cannot remember the last time I even PUT ketchup on a sammich.
  3. It has become a point of contention for anyone eating at my house that yellow mustard does not exist in my world, only spicy brown mustard..
    3a. Spicy brown mustard is not some super exotic strange food, it sells next to the yellow mustard for like a quarter more, and is an available condiment at fucking SUBWAY, where the most "exotic" thing you can get is a fucking meatball sub, or a double-meat philly with cheese.
  4. REALLY need something more entertaining to happen, as this shit is really beginning to ruin the internet for me.

I mean, speaking seriously here... I had little faith in his ability to undo the bullshit he was commissioned to do as president of the United States, and HONESTLY hated that the first black president had to happen when it did, right in the middle of the perfect shitstorm of problems. In the face of this all, I voted for him because I had even less faith (read: not a motherfucking lick) in the individual(s) he was up against.
Sad, though, is that it seems that people who should (ha!) be clear-thinking adults who SHOULD know better (again - ha!) seem to get off on sitting and waiting on him to do shit like this. It is almost like the on-air personalities on these stations are like internet message board posters. For those not familiar with John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory, cast thine eyes upon this:

Green Blackboards (And Other Anomalies)

... one can draw a simple parallell here by removing "anonymity" and replace it with "an audience full of fucking chuckleheads who will not question how asinine your choice of subject matter is and the answer is the same.

I hear that over the next couple weeks, they will find someone to follow him around to determine whether he wears boxers or briefs -- and white or colored (heh) ones once that discernation has been arrived to.
After that, they will make the (late) realization that President Obama loves basketball, just in time for the NBA finals, and then make jokes on-air like "Of course he loves basketball, he's black! You know why black people love basketball? Because they love to shoot, steal and run!" and then there will be raucous laughter throughout the studio. Rush Limbaugh will laugh until he causes himself a coughing fit, fall out on the floor, then turn back to Jabba the Hutt.

Maybe I'm just getting old and crochety, maybe I have always BEEN crochety and just waiting to get old, but I FAIL to make realization as to why in the fuck this matters to me? Why in the hell should I give a mad assfuck what the president orders on his hamburger or how he orders it? I swear, the news is beginning to grate at my fucking nerves so bad.
I would LOVE to be able to avoid the shit, but since print newspapers are on the way out, and people have learned to DVR what they want to watch and don't turn on the TV as much these days, the shit that was once easy to ignore is now infringing on my internet. It would be LOVELY for any one of the 5-7 of you to say "shit, just ignore it," but you and I all know that try as I might, it is GOING to follow me around.
So I will bitch about it.

Seriously, can I have a reminder every 8 minutes on the hour (that would be 8, 16, 24, 32, 40, 48, 54 and 00) about how I should be DEATHLY afraid of the Swine Flu -- excuse me, H1N1 -- instead of made up bullshit "stories" like this?


Popular posts from this blog

True Story©... The Treasure Hunt Pt. IV

True Story©... Return of the Moose