"Nurse Betty" -- an SMPF discussion

S.M.P.F. - Straight Male Pride Foundation
If a woman comes at a dude and expresses interest in him, why does she often behave like he OWES it to her to be reciprocally interested in her?
Polling/discussing with some friends of mine, I presented a couple of situations to be described below and some questions to go along with it...

Copy/paste from emails is as follows.

**********email transmission will commence from here**********

Scene(s) 1 - boy meets girl -- two different ones actually and both actually found him -- on the internets and has no romantical interest in whatsoever in either, just kinda chatting them up and such...

Nothing said or done to them -- especially considering they were 3 and 5 hours away, respectively -- suggested that he was after them in that manner, but each expressed an interest in him at some point. Being that interest did not match theirs, he did not entertain either as if anything would come of it. Only fair, right?
Well, as time progressed, about one year following each throwing shit out there like that was when I met his current situation and each took the shit extra hard. It started with the "oh, you got a girl now, you gonna stop talking to me" thing, and then was on to little petty fucking arguments to the point where it decided that her friendship was not worth the constant headache, considering his resolve against even arguing with his actual girlfriend, let alone some broad who apparently wanted to be, in the face of being irretrievably in the 'friend zone'... Number, emails, facebook, blogs and myspace deleted as of November 2008, no looking back.

The other one was generally less standoffish on some issues, but goes hard for no fucking reason on every and anything else. However, it seemed that the conversations all changed again when her interest in him was expressed and he didn't immediately drop my life and move to where she was to be with her and give her light-skinnded babies with good hair. From there -- in the face of anything she may have said to the contrary -- things had changed, as if his having only acknowledged what she was to acknowledge that she said something, but taking care not to insinuate that interest was mutual STILL kills her -- even though she goes through the same or similar shit with a new dude every few months, some of whom are so dastardly that they parlay it into some pussy once or twice at least.
At first, it seemed generally understood her position well enough to not get cursed the fuck out, but often tries slick disrespectful shit like "... your little girlfriend," or "you were a better friend before you had a girlfriend," up to and including the twice-used "I always thought you would be the one who would be single forever like me" comments.
It's getting etra old... Misery loves company, but some prefer to walk around their houses in varying states of undress, which suggests that they're unwilling to provide that company.

Scene 2 - Background: Old jumpoff, again this was in the year-year.5 before the current situation commenced...

Boy knows girl, had known one another for years, and she happened into himm at the store and exchanged credentials. She needed help moving, he would find himself as the ONLY one helping while she basically watched. Payment for this, however, was a surprise blowski.
[Phlip note - those make everything right with the world sometimes]
It was explained that having inserted erect penis into her mouth without having had to solicit said favor did nothing to change intentions, of which there were none. It was also explained that, however, the introduction of physicality could definitely mean AT LEAST that they could continue as such, but nothing more would come of it. The deal was on the table to be taken or left.
She took it...
The next 3-5 months was sex a couple times a week -- each at her request -- all while she tried to make more of it, all against his reminder of initial intentions, or lack thereof. Each of these were packaged with the suggestion that they could stop it all if she couldn't get with that. Needless to say, they kept fuckin...
[Phlip note - otherwise this would not necessitate inclusion in this post, lol]
She, apparently tired of being in a situation she'd agreed to, goes back to an ex of hers and it lasts like 3 weeks.
Then back to the jumpoff situation...
Then she gets a GIRLFRIEND (!!!)
[Phlip note - calm down, preverts... this was the lumberjack, not the lipstick kind, so no threesome was parlayed from this]
And that lasts a month.
Then back to the jumpoff situation...
It is noteworthy as well that there was NEVER a "date" through all of this, just good ol' fashioned lusting.
Then she tries to go "Jesus Freak" status, to try and change the tone, but it was all let go from right then.
She moved to another city and fell out of contact. Meanwhile, he happens upon someone new... She comes back about 10 months later with a newfound "party girl" attitude around his birthday. It was explained that he was now happily with someone and she just didn't respond, almost as if she was hurt that he wasn't waiting around to come around and be single and waiting on her.
Anyway, come forward to this year.
She offers some half-assed happy birthday, and it is joked off on there not being a present appended, and she gives me some "I gave you THE present! I gave you my heart and you wouldn't take it" response...
His response was deleting her from his FaceBook.

Does it seem to you guys that women treat the world as if their simple interest in a dude is enough for him to just wake up one day and be madly in love with him, against all convention?
Have Disney and Tyler Perry fucked womens' minds so severely that this is what it has come to?

*********end of my copied email transmission here*********

First response was from T-Dott, with...
"Becauise women tie every action to an emotion you're screwed either
way. If you'd have played the cool pose card then she says you're
playing her but you're not interested in taking it deeper so you keep
a little FRIENDLY space between you & you would think that she would
understand that. But you're using practical sense not emotional ties.
Because women are told that they hold the KEY to what makes a man
happy & to guard it like a treasure that can never measured she
expects you to have that same feeling about IT which is essentially
her. If she gives herself to you then you're supposed to be planning a
wedding & kids & the whole fairy tale. They don't look at sex as just
sex. Sex can't be lust or just something that happens it's got to be

The homie Murph came with a well-thought explanation to it all, which I will share with the both of you now...
"So here we go... I knew this would come up eventually and seeing as I am an EXPERT in this realm, I will administer my thoughts on the subject.

Forgive me for not being as verbose or eloquent as Phillip is, but women ALL have this insane idea that they and only they have the one thing that no man should be able to resist. This thing varies from chick to chick, but it's present in every woman i've ever met.Be it SEX (in any of it's wonderful facets), LOOKS (which we, as men, ALL know wanes with age and therefore isn't as nearly as important as they think it is), POPULARITY (again, a waning reality), DRIVE (something that eventually goes to their heads and makes them want to leave us if ours doesn't follow suite), and COOLNESS (which leaves the second they figure out that that's not enough to trick us into being with them). All of these things are compounded when you add things like DISTANCE, FRIENDS, HOBBIES, and CHILDREN.

Women have and have always had this little thing called A CHOICE; something we men have never had. It's said that women know within the 1st 10 seconds whether they will fuck us. We know before we meet them if we want to fuck. They spend the whole time mentally creating the perfect prince that will come and ride them off into the sunset. We, being logical, herd princesses on the very strong possibility that the one princess we choose will do what MOST women will eventually do... drive us insane with unrealistic expectations.

In the situation, having someone, the responses are well warranted. Being happily where you want to be and what has been created, let no bitch tear asunder. The reality of the situation is that all the chicks that want you after the fact, are miserable and we all know misery loves company. They are upset because the choice that was made wasn't what their fantasy said it would be. They are jealous, because someone else has what they want in hindsight. They are angry because what happened was exactly what they thought never would, not understanding that, just like them, you have prerogative to change your mind."

Next respondent chimed in with...
"I agree with this. In my experiences I have used situations like this to provide me with very consitant sources of ass. Because when women feel like they are lossing they tend to turn things up a notch. I will admit that doing this does back fire as you are playing with emotions. But it often leads to some very good, I am trying to change his mind blow jobs and sex. Making sure to do nothing but sex, no sleep overs or pillow talk, and exiting stage left immediately. However i would not recommend this tactics to the faint at heart. because they will often leading to you crusing someone the fuck out, 5 out of 10 times. Should I respect her if she doesnt have any self respect? It works out well when the girl just decides she wants more than this. I use to say I run a team, and the player decides when they ready to come out the game, because the direction and strategy are not changing."

Not to let you in on any more than you need to know about me, but there was a time in a past life -- up to about 10 years ago -- where I was in Creative Designs barber shop every Tuesday and Saturday getting a haircut, then shave/shapeups when I swore off haircuts. One time nearing the end of my time there, they were watching a bootleg (#trueblackstereotypes) of the movie Nurse Betty with Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock. I would always come in on the middle of the movie, around the part where Betty splits for the west in her fugue state with Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock giving chase. While looking for her, Morgan Freeman's character begins to fall in love with his image of her. No, not with her, but what he imagines is the case.

I don't know why, but that movie is where Katie's response to the described situations led my mind. Basically, whats he said is that women see it as a bit of an affront for anyone to suggest that the Disney movies were wrong all along. Every girl is to be assigned her knight in shining armor and will come across him on her own terms, happenstance be damned. If it comes to the point where a woman has what she thinks is her prince and chooses him and he is not int her in that manner, then something is wrong with him and not her. In such, said young lady will act the fuck out.
It is suggested their whole lives that there is some great big wonderful situation that is assigned to every young girl, where she will have a good husband who will pay all the bills and buy the big house and give 3 pretty babies and a perfect life. The reality is much harsher, but the fact that entertainment and fantasy has suggested otherwise since forever, that reality is hard to face. This meeting place of reality and fantasy is where the problem often begins (I think this is where I linked the movie to the situations). When the very real chance of fantasy and reality not lining up, often these girls will CREATE a situation that just is not what it is in her mind.
[Phlip note - she SAID all of that, I shit you not!]
This can go from making a dude who is a fucking dirtbag out to be a prince, making it so a dude who is just a shitty lay was "just having an off night," or -- perhaps most dangerously -- visioning that you could be or perhaps are in a relationship with someone who happens to not be in one with you.
She went in further to explain that the girls in situation 1 from above were very jealous that someone that they had attempted to put their own stamps on first would DARE not be interested in them, only to turn and find someone he is interested in. Situation 2 is simply a damned fool, and apparently the Lyfe Jennings song Statistics came about 3 years too late.

The fact that she and I could talk about this email transmission between friends and I so candidly without anyone taking anything the wrong way is actually one of the best parts of our "us," real talk people...

This will be one of those situations where I am without one of my crazy-ass theories or explanations... I will likely die wondering why people put themselves through this shit.


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