The musings of a madman...

Fun fact, there is an Ocho Rios, Jamaica and there is a Ocho s Rios, Jamaica... All documentation we saw coming in and up until ARRIVING in Jamaica suggested that we would be going to the former, which is nearer to Montego Bay... Instead, we were about 3 hours north of Kingston in the also-touristy Ocho s Rios, which is apparently closer to the Straw Markets and includes tours of the falls and Bob Marley's former residence. The thing about this is that the former is touristy and safe, where the latter is a bit hood-ish and I was again afraid that I might be kidnapped, beaten and buttraped in another country without proper funding to get my ass home, not to mention that my passport CARD allows me home on a boat, not on a plane. You will also notice a very common theme in this locale as well. 12/02/2009 Ocho s Rios, Jamaica 0740 - Awake and water making, not back to bed this time. 0750 - Send The Meanie an expensive-ass text message wishing her a happy 13th birthday. 0819 - Bre...

Okay, I have a bit of a confession to make... I'm racist, I cringe most times when I hear a foreign accent. What, with the immense number of Eastern Europeans on this boat, and the PURELY international staff, I would spend the entire week damn near like a hunchback [pause...] . When I left you, The Katie and I had just seen a magic show and had called it a night, expecting of our first real port of call, following an unplanned stop in Nassau. 12/01/2009 Labadee, Haiti I know what you're thinking.. "Vacationing in HAITI?!!?" Don't fear for my safety, Labadee is an "out" island, privately controlled by Royal Caribbean and fenced off from the rest of the country. There are no resorts or any of that stuff here, only a couple beaches, some Land Rover Defender 110s, a few trams, 3 restaurants, 4 bars, a marketplace and a flea market, all under the scope and security of Royal Caribbean, so I will not be kidnapped and anally raped, I was to understand -- and giv...

When I left you, The Katie and I had crashed out early due to a lack of sleep, but today would be different, I promise you. In fact, I slept longer in this damned bed than I usually do my own, it was THAT damned comfortable, even though it was 2 twin beds pushed together and had the notable spot down the middle. Oh well, with the mattress and the swaying of the ship, it still slept like a DREAM. Perhaps it is near time for new bedding here in the house? Wait, this blog is not about a bed, it is about a boat. A damned large boat at that, so let us get on to it. 11/30/2009 Day At Sea Nassau Bahamas 0530 - Wake up... "What the FUX?!!? I wanted to sleep in!!!" Katie mentions breakfast, but the decision is that they serve it until 11 and that sleep will be the idea, so I pass water and crawl back into the bed. 0740 - Wake up for real and brush teefus, NOW we will go to the buffet and get us some breffass... I had smoked salmon, breakfast potatoes, the shrimp scrambled eggs, som...

As many of the two of you who follow my blog are aware, I was on a vacation all last week, a Western Caribbean cruise with stops in Labadee, Haiti; Ochos Rios, Jamaica; Georgetown, Grand Cayman and Cozumel, Mexico... I will provide you event-by-event commentary with timestamps included here, along with a bunch of cool (or perhaps not-so-cool) pictures appended to the tales. I left work about 1pm on Friday November 27th to come home and tie up loose ends before kicking off for the night. I also left with the possible plan for an addition to my household to be discussed shortly in the presentation, but not to be forced to the front of the line. November 28th, 2009... "The Major Kirk Out Edition" 0444 - Up and out of the bed... What the FUX?!!? 0615 - Shower time. 0700 - Hair washing/twisting begins. 0910 - Hair washing/twisting completed 1100 - Say hi to Bruiser! Bruiser is a Chihuahua/Jack Russell puppy, he lives with us now. 1139 - Fuxed at Budget Rent-a-Car, I'd ha...