Phlip and his camera - State Fair edition.

State Fair has been on since the 10th, today was the last of it...
We had been TRYING to get to it, but with rain the first weekend, chilly last weekend and full time employment keeping us away from it during the week, we had not made it yet.
Kicked around the text messages and Facebook exchange between the Katie and I with my best friend and my sister's (as in "the best friend of my sister," I only have one and would NEVER pluralize with an apostrophe), we decided that this afternoon would be the time to make it happen. Woke up this morning and whipped up breakfast -- hash brown casserole with diced potatoes, onions, turkey sausage, eggs and cheese (I really should have blogged that one, it was early, sue me) -- then commenced to taking a nap and starving myself all damned day. I was gonna GET me a fuckin' turkey leg when I got to that damned fair. I have been so close to getting one and doing it the whole time it has been around.

Anyways, we met Victoria and a couple of the girl scouts from the church AT the church, arranged with Roger to meet us either on the road or at the fair in Raleigh, about 75ish minutes away, and we were on the road...
The frustrating, non-driving assed road, rife with all the FUCKING minivans in North Carolina, DAMN!!!
After repeated attempts of wading through to parking, we decided we would succumb to the neighborhood behind the RBC Center/next to the fairgrounds, where people charge $10.00/car to park instead of parking in the free shit like 2 miles away.
Parked, $7.00 a head and we're inside, speak to Victoria and the girls, and we split up, Roger would show up a little later, ever the CPTimer.

Okay, enough of the lead-in, I this is a "Me and my camera" blog, no need in pretending that it is not.

First thing I noticed walking in (well, that and the "BANG!!!" from the Turkey Shoot) and thought "well sheeit, am I still in NC?"

That's right... Star of the damned show, the ONE thing I was here after.

Drooooooooooooooooooool... [/Homer Simpson]

(4 minutes later...)


(15 minutes later...)

DAMN that was good!
Never stood a fucking chance.

"Will they fry it?" - pickles edition.

"Will they fry it?" - veggies edition.

"Will they fry it?" - random undefined 'dough' edition.

Damn right we got some, it was basically funnel cake nuggets, and it was good too!

"Will they fry it?" - Mac & Cheese edition

"Will they fry it?" - moon pies edition.
[Phlip note - what the FUCK?!!?]


Yeah, I guess I AM in the southeast.

... abso-damned LUTELY in the southeast.

Be right back after this epileptic seizure, please bare with me...

It's peanut butter jelly time!

This suicidal sausage seems to be preparing to grill itself to be eaten.

Left center, look at the dude's fuckin' hat!

Is that genie smoking from a BONG?!!?

Yes, DEFINITELY in the southeast.

More of this shit?!

"Will they fry it?" - Oreo cookies edition.

Wait... Define "guest relations," and please explain why it should be so close to the baby changing station?


These nice colored fellows know their place, shining these nice white folks' shoes.

It's swine, it's chocolate, it's HEAVEN!!!

Rider safety tips...

See #3...

... why in the HELL are you are anything where this is an issue?

These are always hilarious.

Check THIS shit out...

Specifically this one...

Who the fuck ADMITS to that?

Now, I like boobies just as much as the next man, but apparently this shit is OTHER!!!

I mean...
These perves are peep-showing and the dog is making off with the sausage.

The kiddies want a look and their school marm is nonplussed.

This douche canoe missed the casting on "Tool Academy."

Even the rooster was in on the fun.

Trippy shit, homie...

Man, these are FINGERWAVES, and that datestamp down there is accurate.

"Will they fry it?" - Twinkies edition.

"Will they fry it?" - Cookie Dough/Candy Bars edition.

I had not been to the state fair in 20 years, no shit. I seemed to have forgotten the amounts of things that one could purchase deep fried. Including BUTTER!
I was a bit disappointed, though, that I was not able to have a beer while out here, and even more so that I was not able to procure for myself a deep fried beer... Honestly, if I can get a deep fried candybar or butter, I am being denied my RIGHT to have a deep fried Yuengling dammit.

Anyway... After about 3 hours or so on the grounds, I scored another turkey leg for the road.
[Phlip note - McBride's has the best looking turkey legs at the whole damned state fair, bigger than the other people selling them, and only 50 cent more]
Katie scored some candy apples -- which she would graciously share with my nephews and my brother when we got back to Greensboro -- and some fudge [pause...] for us as well.

Ahh, well... At the end of it all, a good time was had, good laughs were had by all, good food was had by all and I got my motherfucking turkey leg. No. we didn't get on any ride, since the paying for of my house requires that I remain alive and not maimed.
Back here at the Phlip Estates, enjoying a beer and watching Tool Academy with the lady after a good weekend...
I'll catch y'all on the other side.


Kousen Tora said…
And it's funny that the pervs catching a peek were the Three Stooges. Also, did they have Vinegar Fries there? I don't know about NC, but I've been told that here they are a must have...
Anonymous said…
Yes! Tis I! The famous 'Katie' and I have just a few comments... First and foremost, @SenTora, yes they have vinegar fries.. as a matter of fact they have a bottle of vinegar sitting by the extra salt should you feel the need to up your cholesterol. You catch the 'stink face' should you so happen to pass it by. Being from up north... it's probably as great to me as chitterlings (EW!). Okay, moving on... We saw some of the most amazing things that could be fried!!! Including pecan pie (not pictured) and cheeseburgers (also not pictured)!! Unreal! This has to be the first time I have EVER been to the state fair throughout the 25 years I have been alive and a really great time was had by all! OH!!! P.S someone needs to tell homegirl the 90's want their fingerwaves back... Seriously I was embarrassed for her AND the chica w/purple weave!!
Phlip said…
Ahh, the purple weave...
I would have attempted to capture a photo, but the camera was in my pocket, and I was not interested in having to beat that colored boy that she had with her as they waited for the bathrooms.
Jocelyn said…
wait. Fried BUTTER? get the fcuk outta here. how dey do dat?
Tony Grands said…
Hey, if they can fry ice cream, I'm sure some douche can fry beer. Or, would that actually be beer-batter? Hmm, I'll ponder this until my Monster wears off.

Oh snap 'The Katie' dropped by...I feel like I just met a celebrity.

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