Football observations, brought on by The Katie...

That's right, I am partially blaming this one on her.

A large strengthening part of my relationship with the Katie is that she is genuinely interested in the sports that I am.
Well, at least Basketball and Football, but we can work on road racing later.

Anyways, this means that on given evenings (Wed-Fri to be exact), we will be watching -- or at least listening to background noise comprised of -- NBA games together. The onset of the NCAA season will add college games to that on Mondays and Tuesdays, then the end of NFL football will see the oncoming of NBA ball on Sunday afternoons.
[Phlip note - tell me I don't plan ahead for these things and mean it]

Normally when one splices a scribe with an "anyways," he is returning back to the task at hand from a slight (or not so slight) digression, but being the asshole that I am, I am making a point of drawing your attention to the fact that I did not, while going further off into the rabbit hole.
I will not apologize.

Over the last couple of weeks, someone who sits in the desk closest to the door in the computer room who may or may not be named Katie, began to snicker aloud during the commentary over football games playing on the telly at any given time, up to and not including...

  • "He hit the hole with his head high"
  • "[player] went down low on him"
  • "He was looking to bust the big one"
  • "They were looking to achieve deep penetration up the middle"
  • "He went deep to the tight end"
  • "[team] is having their way with..."
  • "He slipped past the tight end for the back-door"
  • "[player] grabs/takes him from behind"
  • "Taking it DEEP into the backfield"
Please don't ask me to remember more, in fact I had thoughts of waiting to post this one until after tonight's NFL game, but I will likely not watch that game to the end, even though it features my favorite team, because it will be preempted about halfway through by an NBA game that happens to involve my favorite team of that league, and they happen to be the champions so I feel less heartbroken watching them.
Needless to say, my attention is set to be divided this evening after I have cooked.

Don't you folks just love when I fall off topic?

To be such a "manly" collision sport (not to be confused with a less-impactful 'full contact' sport, such as basketball or soccer), football seems to be filled to the brim with homoerotic metaphors and describables.
All the talk of "hitting," "scoring" and "blocking" are all metaphoric for other things that we've also known of down through the years.
I would hedge a bet that a blind man listening to a game as commented on television would be hard-pressed to discern whether he was listening to a game of football or a zesty pornographic presentation.
One finds it purely ironic and comical that one team just released a player for reasons including posting to his twitter account referring to fans/detractors as "fags," or at least I got a good chuckle out of this.

I say this as a fan of sports, of football and with no less respect for the individuals out there on the field making more than I do or likely will make to do things that I might kinda wish I could have done. Someone will have skimmed through this post and miss that fact, or simply go in on what they thought was said, as if it were not clearly in jest -- though a lot of truth is often said in jest. I will be called all kinds of "haters" and told some shit like "well YOU can't do it, you're just jealous!"
Please... I readily concede that I don't have it physically to be a professional athlete, but that does not mean I am jealous of jocks, not in the least. I know one of these pseudo-girly men who have a good 6" in height and 50-60 pounds in weight on me could probably kick my ass if I was stupid enough to NOT be prepared to shoot a motherfucker.


In the end of it all [heh heh, see what I did there?] perhaps we should all just sit back and lighten up a bit and have a laugh at these things...
Besides, none of you complained when I went in on baseball back in August.


Kousen Tora said…
Tell The Katie that I definitely appreciate her humor with this.

And for the record, I absolutely love the idea you came up with for changes that should be made to baseball.
Tony Grands said…
Good drop.

They say a way to a mans heart is through his stomach. But the SMART women figure out the short-cut is through their sports.

My wife even watches the X-games with me, yearly, since year 1 (going on year 7 of marriage this month).

Lake Show tonight (I know you know already).
Anonymous said…
Thank you Galen! We've been joking about it for weeks now and I'm surprised he not only posted this but decided to blame it on me! I mean, I'll accept full accountability for the obvious :)

Mr. Grands! To consider me a celebrity is one thing, to figure out my dirty little secret is another! I tried the food thing.. that was a epic phail (I think). We so happened to stumble across the Lakers conversation during our beginning stages and have enjoyed every game since. Including a Bobcats/Laker game in Charlotte this past March! Unfortunately that was a loss but who cares because we still got FOUR rings!!! YEAH!! :) Going for 5 this year if Bynum can act right, Odom doesn't let his new bride into his head too much, Kobe continues to do his thing, Gasol comes back, Fisher does what Fisher does and everyone stays focused! *Fingers crossed*

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