You know what I think?

I been thinking (yes, I concede that this is often a dangerous state) and, while I am about sick and fucking tired of Tiger coverage, I feel the need to go in, if only to keep my blog near the top when someone enters "Tiger Woods" into a Google search.
[Phlip note - don't judge me, I blog, I want the fucking attention]

Tiger was heavy in these skreets before he met Elin, he HAD to be!

What multimillionaire bachelor -- straight or zesty -- who happens to be hundreds of millions into his earnings DOESN'T take his pick of whatever the best of whatever city he is currently situated in, as per his preferred gender of sexual congress (and several NOT of it, but that is another blog that I will never post)?

The way I see this, he has had a harem of jumpoffs all along -- only a fool would believe otherwise. I am to FURTHER believe that he, very much like Diddy -- except with about 2-3 times the bankroll and a million times more acceptance in at least SOME of white America -- cannot be made to use a rubber. Elin would have been one of those jumpoffs at one point, but she was the one who struck the lottery by getting knocked up and then, to protect that image from his philandering, he married her.

As I understand it, they have a pre-nup says she gets 20 mil and child support if he goes, which is flies to an elephant, so to speak, with his cash... She shares with him his billion or better if she stays. Which would YOU do?!!?

Mark Kreigel on Fox Sports said it last week... He needs to admit he was wrong, (perhaps) buy her a 4 million dollar ring, grow a pair and put them on the line.
[Phlip note - calling a press conference in the Staples Center to cry on camera not advisable]

Then he will come back and beast harder than before, the sponsors will RUN back to his dick, we've seen it happen before. The ultimate vindication is living better.

I also find it funny how EVERY single one of his jumpoffs, alleged and confirmed, have decided to come out of the woodwork with stories, text messages and picture messages in varying levels of incrimination.
[Phlip note - THIS is why you NEVER send anyone pictures of your genitals unless images of said genitals are how you make your money already]
What is funny about THAT is that most of his jumpoffs, save for one as I am told (but have not yet seen an image of) have been of European descent, and all this time we were trained by the internet that it was the BROWN jumpoffs who would come quick to out a philanderer when the news is coming to talk about it with checkbooks drawn.

As is typical, apparently Tiger is the moral compass against which we are all to be judged, the light-skinned good-hair well-spoken half negro. No, not this, not Tiger... This was not supposed to be him. He was excelling at something that as early as 10 years before he began professionally he might not have even been ALLOWED to participate in all available venues, like Belle Meade in Tennessee, which has a long and still applicable history of excluding brown folks from membership and as of earlier this year only had one black member, who only makes use of the course like once annually.
And to think, after ALL that was done for him... He was ALLOWED to play a gentleman's game as a non-gentleman. He was ALLOWED to be the best at the sport, head and shoulders above his contemporaries. He was ALLOWED to make more money than any athlete has or should. All he had to do was put on his best public face and behave. You know, been a little more Jesusy, so to speak. But no, he OJ'd us. It is June 1994 all over again. This ungrateful motherfucker has gone out and--...
Oh, wait... You mean to tell me that he didn't break any laws?

Well what in the fuck is everyone so fucking mad about?

I won't go full in on the "we should all mind our own fucking business" self-righteousness, as this is the unfortunate caveat of what he and any other public figure signs on for the possibility of the moment the decision is made that they will be famous. You will be under a microscope, much by your own designs. It really is an exercise in whoring ones' self out in the largest scale. Sacrifice of regularly human rights to become the walking publicity stunt/salesperson for whatever it is you're chosen to shill.
Let us not forget Michael Jordan paid some chick hush money for an extramarital child several years back.

All I will say is that we should knock off the self-righteous bullshit when they happen to do shit that commoners do.

No more Tiger Woods talk in these pages.


Ryan said…
Yo these are my thoughts exactly
Tony Grands said…
Sounds about right.

Philandering is something like smoking crack. No way in hell you just picked it up the "habit" one day after work, you just got sloppy about keeping it a secret.

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