Really, Trey Songz?

"Invented sex," huh?

Did anyone stop to think about how in the HELL that could POSSIBLY be a good thing?

Before I proceed, please don't think for a minute that I actually spend time listening to this sorry excuse for "R&B music" coming out this day. R&B has been a sadder state of being than hip hop has been for a longer period of time. The very careers of Trey Songz and those of his ilk speak to this fact.
I happened upon the song a while ago and attempted to ignore it, but the song is similar to a bad rash, the more you try to brush it off, the worse it becomes.

Now back to business...
When we think of someone who "invented" anything, we think of an individual who did a rag-tag job of putting something together that would be terribly in need of improvement.
Need examples?
  • Fire - how many of the cavemen died following the invention of, at the hands of fire? I bet it felt like a horrible idea until properly grasped.
  • The wheel - how many cavemen got rolled over or just plain lost what they were working with due to lack of ability to harness the concept of simple kinetic energy?
  • Guns - ever held an old gun? What about a civil war-era musket, or even a 30-40 year-old revolver? Pick up a current pistol and tell me that whomever invented this thing would come across as some kinda fucking lunatic hell bent on hurting himself.
  • Electricity - MANY people (and horses, but more on that in a minute) died during the discovery and harnessing of electricity. Look for old-school photos on Google tomorrow when your boss is ignoring everything that they SHOULD care about of old electrical devices.
  • Telephones - thank your lucky stars that you don't have to stand next to the jack in your kitchen, hope an operator is available, tell her the name and address of the person you look to call and wait, hoping they're not on the phone with someone else.
  • Electric chair - Edison invented this too... He did so with what was still only LIMITED understanding of how electricity -- voltage and amperage -- worked. They tested the initial electrical chairs on horses. It takes less than half an amp to kill someone, voltage be damned. I learned that in high school and it was drilled home in college.
    Several horses were exploded before Edison realized this.
  • Computers - remember that piece of shit you played Oregon Trail on when we were in Elementary school? Well now you have 820 gigs of storage, a 2.9gHz dual core processor, 4 gigs of RAM, DVI/HDMI output, enough USB out to run anything you own and a 26" LCDTV as a monitor.
    [Phlip note - at least I do]
    And you know what? That monstrosity I am you are sitting in front of STILL cost less than that Macintosh in your elementary school.
  • Automobiles - there was a time when drum brakes were the only show on the road. Drums are less effective, more expensive and heavier than disc brakes... This goes not to mention the bevy of OTHER advancements made in automobiles.
  • Medicine - leeches and wrist-cutting were once "respectable" medical procedures... I can stop there.
  • Movie special effects - go watch Flash Gordon. You thought that shit was GREAT when you were little. Now go watch... um... Transformers? You feel retarded for ever having thought that the special effects in Flash Gordon was ever cutting edge, don't you?
  • DVD - remember laser discs? If you DO, don't you wish you didn't?
I could go on, but I would hope you're smart enough to get it...
No one who invents anything has a useful point of reference with which to claim the rights of being "best" at it further than they can being the "only" at it. In fact, simple matter of not extreme levels of intelligence should help one to devise that it stands to reason that they are the WORST at something.
Check it... James Naismith invented basketball. I would bet a million dollars that I have never even seen that he would get his ass handed to him by LeBron James.

Think of it this way:
When YOU are learning to do something, anything, the fact of the matter remains that you sucked at it for at least a period of time, until you knew what the fuck you were doing. That being said, "invented" is synonymous with "just learning to..."
I would like to think that most of both of my readers have had sex a time or 50 in their lives. In such, we all know how monumentally (or just plain embarrassingly, don't judge me) bad we all were at it at first. That being said, to say "girl you gon' think I invented sex" is to be taken to mean the same as "girl, you gon' think I ain't NEVER had no pussy before this."

I got nothing else.


Tony Grands said…
On a related note, the name "Trey Songs" implies he only has 3 songs.

If only...

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