Cartoon Disassembly 101: Session 7 (guest blog series)

The following was originally written by the homie Galen Henderson... With his permission, and in response to a Facebook status message about how comically asinine the villains' plots were on Voltron while snowed in this weekend led him to share this piece with me. With his permission, I am presenting it to the two of you.
There are surely more parts to this series, but I will be sharing the all of them with you complete with link.

[Phlip note - that was it for all of them right there]

And now we will get right down to business...




And now a brief addendum by Professor Shadow Dragon...

"Ok, just checked up on the class. I would like to put
some of my own info in, if that's ok with Prof. Sen
Tora."

It be ok!! =^o^=

"First of, X-Men Evolution. The second show was based
off the old school pilot show called "Pryde of the
X-Men". I didn't start really getting into this one
until I saw "The Cauldron" when they introduced Havok.
(can't wait til he becomes a regular) Also, I am glad
that they made Apocalypse more Egyptian."

"Transformers. Ok, now it was brought to my attention
that Mani wanted to say that they were also crackheads
because they always was trying to get energon. Well,
my question is "Would you consider food as crack??"
That is was energon was to them: Food. They needed
it to live, literally. If you had to make it into a
conversion, you could say that it was fermented fruit
juice (aka wine) because there was an episode when the
Decepticons were drunk. I will go over a few others
along the way as Prof. Sen Tora winds down towards
your final exam. That is all for now."

-- Prof. Shadow Dragon

Hell we haven't even gotten to the midterms.... yet! Speaking of which, that might be taken care of two weeks from this class. So definitely be ready!!

This class is gonna be a somewhat short one seeing that I'm only discussing one series. However, this series has been on for almost 6 years and unfortunately doesn't seem like it's ever gonna end!! That is this that I refer to? Why it's the favorite of mindless kids from 3 to whatever age is still dumb enough to watch this Pile O' Crap. Of course I'm talking about Pokemon.

Now some one please tell me why this show is still on TV. I'll tell you: Cause in one form or another this gets forced down your throat to remind you that it exists. Either by the cartoon, the Gameboy games, or by the card game.... pick your poison..

For those few of you that are lucky enough to not know what Pokemon is all about, this is the explanation of the show. A kid is trying to capture a bunch of creatures to become the self proclaimed "World's Greatest Pokemon Master". That's it. He walks around with two other idiots that are dumb enough to follow him when they could have left a long time ago to live their own lives. But no... they decide to base their own lives solely around this kid and do absolutely nothing else.

This show has a set formula, and has yet to deviate from it at all!

1. Kid comes to a new town
2. Kid meets a new Pukemon Trainer
3. Kid fights new Pukemon Trainer
4. Kid gets his ass handed to him by said Pukemon Trainer
5. Kid goes off to train to become better, but gets stopped by idiotic team trying to capture the same damn creature in every episode.
6. Team Idiotic gets blown up and beat up by the same creature.
7. Kid goes back and fights Pukemon Trainer again and beats him.
8. Kid moves on to new town.

And that's EVERY SINGLE CRAPTACULAR EPISODE OF POKEMON IN A NUTSHELL!!!

Now there was one episode of Pukemon that will never be shown anywhere cause it was destroyed. And why was this? Well it's because this episode was so horrible that it caused epileptic seisures in millions (audience response: "AND MILLIONS") of people over in Japan. So they decided to just totally destroy that episode so it would harm no one else. NEWS FLASH: WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE CRAPPY EPISODES!!!! We Don't WANT them either! Why can't you destroy those as well!!! *ahem* Excuse me for that outburst.

Back to Pukemon.... but this show tells kids to run away from home and fight other people just because you think you can beat them for no reason whatsoever.

Were there any high points about this show? Not really... but a couple of funny things I observed about the show: He had some creatures that were cool with him and all.... but they all got fed up with his crap and LEFT Him!!

Here's the jist of the ones that left:

1. Pigeotto - He left cause his gang was gettin' their asses handed to them by the Fearow or whatever they're called (that's right more gang warfare in cartoons) and they needed a leader.

2. Squirtle - Same thing. He was a leader of a Turtle Gang (4 of them if I remember right.... could it be possible? Naaaaah) and they needed their leader back.

3. Butterfree - Bottom line, he left the kid to get some nookie and never looked back. Well hell, what would you choose: Follow around a kid that's gonna make you fight for his amusement or Gettin Nookie? That's what I thought! He did it all for da Nookie!!!

4. Charizard - He lost points with me cause his dumb-ass came back. He left for two reasons: (1) to train to become stronger and (2) the nookie!! He found himself a female Charizard and hit it off... granted not from the beginning cause she kicked his ass. But when he left, as with Butterfree, he did it mostly to get the Nookie.... his training was secondary to him. Hold on.... the more I think about that, that's not entirely true. Cause as I said, he went back to the Kid and left the girl. What just came to mind will be left there to rot and burn forever.

You know.... the more I write about this Pile O'Crap, I feel so... unclean. And that's not a feeling that I like so much. It's that same feeling when you step into a nice large pile of Man Doo (why would you step in man doo is beyond me). So I'm putting an end to this right now.