"Change it up?"... a conversation.
Been a while since I did one of these.
Fact of the matter, though, is that this one was presented as an idea by The Katie. Initially, I shot it down, since people already see me as some kind of raging homophobe and sexist, but what have I to lose?
Not like I have many people left to offend these days.
The question, as I present VERBATIM from the Book of Face, is...
[Phlip note - the lead in was VERY necessary, as I have friends who are more immature than I am known to be]
First respondent was my cousin Gloria, with...
Fact of the matter, though, is that this one was presented as an idea by The Katie. Initially, I shot it down, since people already see me as some kind of raging homophobe and sexist, but what have I to lose?
Not like I have many people left to offend these days.
The question, as I present VERBATIM from the Book of Face, is...
"Time for a new question of the day. Please be mature AND HONEST when answering this one... Would your opinion of someone -- like a close friend -- change if they revealed to you that they were gay?"
[Phlip note - the lead in was VERY necessary, as I have friends who are more immature than I am known to be]
First respondent was my cousin Gloria, with...
"No. For the most part u already had an idea they were...I do have a lil cuzzo that did shock the fam. But I love her no matter what."
Next was trapped-in-New Englander, Joe, with...
Next was Barri of The Witches Brew (new link, bookmark it!), with...
Next was James, with...
Next response, via email, was Tony Grands, with...
Next respondent was former coworker, April, with...
It was at this point that there was a post, fully ignoring the sentences prior to the actual question, saying...
... to which I responded by deleting the message, posting myself and texting the individual with...
Sitting 10 feet from me, reacting to my frustration with what I attempted to avoid, attempts at derailment of the conversation to be any further tendered came from The Katie with...
... and now back to the task at hand, assured that this will not be a coming out party on the part of me -- with testimony from the last, and consequently the next person I did or will have sex with -- let's get back to business.
Unnamed conversation-derailer returned with...
[Phlip note - there, that's better...]
Sean Chimed in with...
As for me?
I can honestly say that it has never happened to me directly, but I have been somewhere between 3rd and 5th to get the news. Honestly, I have no real issue with what anyone does inside of their own bedroom, so long as they pay me the same respect of not rubbing the world's nose in it.
That is a HUMAN thing, not knowing reason to spend a moment to think about sexual orientation. Too much information is too much information anywhere, seriously. That being said, I really shouldn't even need to be typing this right now, not after Tony Grands' second paragraph. I swear, the only differences between his experience and mine is our proximity to the ends of US I-40.
[Phlip note - Grands, it ends about 3 hours or so from here at the beach on my end and in Inland Empire on yours]
But no, I am not the one to be all caught up in disliking someone because of what/how they are or who they date, as long as whomever they date is human. Seriously...
MY friends are people who I can chill with, who I can be as damn-near-family with, confide in and at least fucking TALK to... Most have my phone number and know at least one thing about me that cannot be found within the 306 (including this one) posts in this blog.
And I am my own favorite topic, so that's saying something.
As it were, one MIGHT think it to be a bit of an honor to be the one that someone comes out to. Stay with me, here... To think of someone as being close and non judgmental enough to think you would be comfortable in the receipt of a message that can be seen as of the most urgent of importance in life at that one moment is kind of heavy. If you can't see that kind of trust as EXTRA heavy, then you have no soul and your name might be Shang Tsung.
That being said, I do not have it in me to look down on a person who comes out of the closet, so long as they were before, and will continue to remain a decent human being. Yes, I am often so flamingly heterosexual that I am often construed as homophobic. Fact remains, though, that I don't have it in me. I might be a bit miffed that it seems almost as if being that is something bad, but that is more guilt by association. See VH1's Tool Academy for point of reference.
Anyway, I have said my piece... In summation, it has never happened to me, but I would not look at anyone any differently for coming out. Fact remains, that no amount of "metrosexual" programming, no amount of Rupaul's Drag Race, no amount of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, no amount of Transform Me, NONE of that shit will EVER make my heterosexuality as villainous as ANYONE trying to cop to being gay.
[Phlip note - Wanda Sykes and Ellen Degeneres included, no shots.]
That being said, I will say that a dude who CAN come out -- as they should, as per sentiment shared in opinion of Grands and myself -- is about the bravest and most trustworthy (more on that in a second) dude you will know or meet. You should KEEP that motherfucker on your team, seriously.
Now, back to...
Trustworthy?
Yes, trustworthy... Trust is one of those two-way streets. Now, I don't play poker, but I need to make a metaphor here, and I know when a dude goes "all in," I know he is basically laying it all out, outcome be damned. If there is not another cat on that table you can believe at that moment, that dude is the one. That being said, the moment a dude goes "all in" (or "all out," lol... no shots), then you've been shown all you need to know of trustworthiness in them. What more is there to lose?
"No. I've had a couple come out and I said "well im not suprised" and we are still friends to this day. Friends are friends regardless, anyone who drops a friend based on that was never their true friend to begin with."
Next was Barri of The Witches Brew (new link, bookmark it!), with...
"Been there done that. Nope..feelings didn't change a bit. Hell, I think I asked before they even came out. A real friend wants you to be your authentic self. I don't have a homophobic bone in me, so whatevers. You like it, I love it. *kanye shrug*"
Next was James, with...
"nan...... I would just have to find new words to use around them."
Next response, via email, was Tony Grands, with...
"I have plenty of friends with effeminate ways. I blame the "metrosexual" boom of the late '90s. It still has tangible, lingering effects, although I stopped putting top coat on my nails a few years back, personally. It would surprise me if closet doors started opening as time progresses.
Seriously though, that really wouldn't matter. Contrary to popular belief, gay guys don't fawn & lust over straight men like we think they do. I'm at an age where prejudice is far to bothersome to put time & energy into. In fact, let me know what's popping. I'll appreciate it. Those down low dudes are like cat burglars for your hind quarters. This way, I'll know for sure that I don't want to hike you the ball during Mudbowl 2010."
Seriously though, that really wouldn't matter. Contrary to popular belief, gay guys don't fawn & lust over straight men like we think they do. I'm at an age where prejudice is far to bothersome to put time & energy into. In fact, let me know what's popping. I'll appreciate it. Those down low dudes are like cat burglars for your hind quarters. This way, I'll know for sure that I don't want to hike you the ball during Mudbowl 2010."
Next respondent was former coworker, April, with...
"That happened to me already....I was cool..nothing changed.....love him and my homegirl even more because both had the courage to 'come out'........"
It was at this point that there was a post, fully ignoring the sentences prior to the actual question, saying...
"Is this your way of coming out? We don't care. "
... to which I responded by deleting the message, posting myself and texting the individual with...
"First deleted comment, ladies and gentlemen!"
Sitting 10 feet from me, reacting to my frustration with what I attempted to avoid, attempts at derailment of the conversation to be any further tendered came from The Katie with...
"For the record... I can attest to the fact that this is not an attempt for Phlip to 'come out'.. Speaking as his girlfriend I can say that is not a possibility. "
... and now back to the task at hand, assured that this will not be a coming out party on the part of me -- with testimony from the last, and consequently the next person I did or will have sex with -- let's get back to business.
Unnamed conversation-derailer returned with...
"How about this... I am not friends with the people I am friends with because they like men or women. I am friends with them because they are genuine, like the same things I like, and know how to enjoy life."
[Phlip note - there, that's better...]
Sean Chimed in with...
"A person's sexuality does not reflect their character. So I stridently say, "No it would not change my opinion of him/her". Additionally, sexuality does not play a role in determining who I become friends with. I am fairly certain that I could not care less about an individual's sexuality."
As for me?
I can honestly say that it has never happened to me directly, but I have been somewhere between 3rd and 5th to get the news. Honestly, I have no real issue with what anyone does inside of their own bedroom, so long as they pay me the same respect of not rubbing the world's nose in it.
That is a HUMAN thing, not knowing reason to spend a moment to think about sexual orientation. Too much information is too much information anywhere, seriously. That being said, I really shouldn't even need to be typing this right now, not after Tony Grands' second paragraph. I swear, the only differences between his experience and mine is our proximity to the ends of US I-40.
[Phlip note - Grands, it ends about 3 hours or so from here at the beach on my end and in Inland Empire on yours]
But no, I am not the one to be all caught up in disliking someone because of what/how they are or who they date, as long as whomever they date is human. Seriously...
MY friends are people who I can chill with, who I can be as damn-near-family with, confide in and at least fucking TALK to... Most have my phone number and know at least one thing about me that cannot be found within the 306 (including this one) posts in this blog.
And I am my own favorite topic, so that's saying something.
As it were, one MIGHT think it to be a bit of an honor to be the one that someone comes out to. Stay with me, here... To think of someone as being close and non judgmental enough to think you would be comfortable in the receipt of a message that can be seen as of the most urgent of importance in life at that one moment is kind of heavy. If you can't see that kind of trust as EXTRA heavy, then you have no soul and your name might be Shang Tsung.
That being said, I do not have it in me to look down on a person who comes out of the closet, so long as they were before, and will continue to remain a decent human being. Yes, I am often so flamingly heterosexual that I am often construed as homophobic. Fact remains, though, that I don't have it in me. I might be a bit miffed that it seems almost as if being that is something bad, but that is more guilt by association. See VH1's Tool Academy for point of reference.
Anyway, I have said my piece... In summation, it has never happened to me, but I would not look at anyone any differently for coming out. Fact remains, that no amount of "metrosexual" programming, no amount of Rupaul's Drag Race, no amount of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, no amount of Transform Me, NONE of that shit will EVER make my heterosexuality as villainous as ANYONE trying to cop to being gay.
[Phlip note - Wanda Sykes and Ellen Degeneres included, no shots.]
That being said, I will say that a dude who CAN come out -- as they should, as per sentiment shared in opinion of Grands and myself -- is about the bravest and most trustworthy (more on that in a second) dude you will know or meet. You should KEEP that motherfucker on your team, seriously.
Now, back to...
Trustworthy?
Yes, trustworthy... Trust is one of those two-way streets. Now, I don't play poker, but I need to make a metaphor here, and I know when a dude goes "all in," I know he is basically laying it all out, outcome be damned. If there is not another cat on that table you can believe at that moment, that dude is the one. That being said, the moment a dude goes "all in" (or "all out," lol... no shots), then you've been shown all you need to know of trustworthiness in them. What more is there to lose?
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