Phlip, the Conspiracy Theorist...

You know what? What if these damned nutjobs are actually right? What if, by some already (and often) disputed and refuted chance, Obama was actually NOT a citizen?

No, stay with me here...
Jamal and I were talking a couple weeks ago and thought of some situations that MIGHT make this wholly possible that he is not a natural born citizen...
Yep, that's EXACTLY right.... Because his poor mom and dad of terrorist descent both knew that in 50 years time, he would be president. So they conspired with the Hawaii state government to smuggle baby Obama in from Kenya and forge several documents stating he was born there, including two Hawaiian newspapers.

This goes not to mention that this ALL went down before Hawaii was even a state, so he is automatically disqualified, which furthers the ruse in that that it means that Obama is probably at least 10 years older than the 48 that he claims to be. That's right, folks this would also make him a draft dodger.
Damn him, that unamerican, uppity-assed terrorist draft-dodger!

There is nothing funny about this situation... This is a serious issue. We have a NIG--... uhh.. umm.. We have a man who is not qualified to be President under the Constitution of the United States!
What we must do as upstanding and patriotic citizens is call all of our respective congressmen about introducing legislation into Congress about allowing Arnold Schwarzenegger to run for Presidential office. It is the only fair solution to the problem that this "President" who has apparently taken our country hostage.

(Technically neither George Washington nor John Adams, Presidents 1 & 2, met the citizenship requirement. Washington was from Virginia, which was not one of the States that ratified the Constitution, and Adams had spent 10 years overseas and had not been a resident for fourteen years as required.)

The other option, as I thought of it, though would be to somehow reinstate the ambiguous language in the Mann Act, thus making the union of his White American mother and African terrorist father thereby illegal, because if it was illegal to take a white woman across STATE lines for activities that might be less than savory, "immoral" as it was worded. That way, one can ONLY imagine that crossing international lines with plans to defraud the United States Office of the President would be CLEARLY wrong, no?
This way, with his parents' marriage annulled, he would not able to gain natural citizenship and we would simply deport him to wherever his father was from, even on the far outside chance he WAS actually born in Hawaii after Hawaii was made a state. Again, this goes on the false assumption of such, because the ONLY way he was born in Hawaii would be if he were born FAR before his fraudulently corroborated birth certificate suggests.

If any of this is found to be true, President Blackie McBlackerson is to to be immediately stripped of his presidency and returned to Kenya, where he may get a job as a fisherman until he is extradited back to the United States and held in Guantanamo Bay indefinitely for his treasonous political career.
His family, his wife and children and all of their respective families should stand trial for treason right there with him. We the people must take our country back from it's captor and anyone who helped him to the position!


(let the record show that I am TOTALLY bullshitting in this one, and the only factual information above is the part about the first 2 presidents being technically ineligible to be president)


Tony Grands said…
You forgot the alleged usage of illegal narcotics for recreational purposes, ha!

& if you've ever seen him play B ball, then you know that 'J' should be illegal as well (in a good way)....

Good post, Phlip.

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