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True Story©... Career Update

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I was going to call, I swear! I'm chilling at my desk Monday when the phone rings... Me: "Hello?" Caller: "I just text you a link." Me: "Bro, I found that link last week. I don't use Spotify when Google packages YouTube Music on the Pixel automatically. Also, good morning Jigga--... shit, Jericho Jackson." Jericho: "You can call me Blicky Bobby now." Me: "I will call you by your fucking name." Jericho: "Fine... So..." Me: "'So' what?" Jericho: "So what did you think?" Me: "Y'know what? I'mma give you this assessment one by one.  We'll do it in real time, even though I built these opinions like a week and a half ago." Jericho: "Thank you." I pulled up the EP TrapAllDayAndNight - The Ballad of Blicky Bobby and my notes to compare track name to what I'd intended to say whenever I spoke to him.  I queued all tracks up and hit play... Me: "Track one,...
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True Story©… Robbin’ the Hood

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       I was aiming low… WAIT!      First, let me welcome y’all back and advise that I was not kidnapped again this time. Instead, I was dealing with the fact that I kind of necessarily had to burn the Moe Phillips name to keep my real name out of real trouble.  I took a week not only to regroup, but to live-test a new method.      That’s right, y’all, I started a cult! At my advanced age, it makes little sense to attempt a full on career change that may involve any amount of time spent back in school, especially not when my normal full time job does well enough to handle my bills and gives great insurance benefits.  As has been mentioned before in these very pages, one of those benefits is generous amounts of off time commiserate with the amount of time I have been with the company.  I’d be a fuckin’ fool to blow that!      So anyway, a cult…  First off, I needed a point of in...
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True Story©... Get Out Of Jail Free!

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  Life is pretty boring lately… I say that to say that there is plenty going on but most of it is pretty mundane “adulting” shit.  I guess one could see how that might mean things are pretty okay but knowing/observing how my brain works, one could ALSO see the need for some excitement.  I mean, I know spring is right around the corner and will bring with it constant yard work and sundresses (and the cleavage that comes with those) , but right now is right now. As I reached the end of my chain, my phone rings – my PERSONAL phone – and I kind of have to answer that when it rings for reasons I don’t need to get into right here and now. Me: “Hello?” Caller: “Phillip, it’s me…” Me: “Sir, there are like eight billion people on this planet.” Caller: “Detective Woodpe–… fuck–…  SHIT!!!  Detective Woodcock.” Me: “Naughty, naughty there, detective Woodpenis, you kiss your mother with that mouth?” Woodpenis: “My mother is deceased.” Me: “And you’re sitting around kissi...
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